The Sex Monster Page #4

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(yelping and banging)

You two are on fire tonight.

Look at you.

Babe...? You okay?

Do you want to rest for a minute?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Yeah, honey?

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

For a minute, I thought

you were having trouble breathing.

- No...

- Don't stop.

(moaning resumes)

(cries and thumping)

Hey.

Hey, you guys...

Hey... hey, Didi...

Hi.

- Guys having fun?

- Yeah.

Want me to bring up sandwiches?

Don't stop, don't stop.

(moans resume)

(Ioud cries and bumping)

Bye, Marty. See ya.

Bye.

"Bye, Marty. See ya."

(Radio:
)

You wanna stand up for us?

Oh, please do.

You are a hottie.

Are you very proud

of yourself naked?

I wouldn't say "proud",

just comfortable.

- Have you ever done lesbianism?

- No...

- Hi.

- Diva.

What are you doing here?

The Pembrokes are coming over.

Laura called and asked me

to help with the big brunch.

- You didn't know about it?

- No... Laura called you?

I though it was a great idea.

Hi!

- You look great.

- Look at you, you look fabulous.

Come on in.

- Marty, how are ya?

- Hi, Marty.

Dave, Evie, how are you guys?

Good to see you.

You look amazing.

Look at you.

Both of you. You look great.

I'm not feeling too great.

My wife beat me at tennis.

You look great. This guy

looks 22 years old...

like he did in Michigan,

this guy.

Marty, your wife looks adorable.

Thank you. She is adorable,

but look at this guy.

Both of you look fantastic.

That's it. We're in trouble.

Way too many "you look greats".

Marty, get me a drink.

I wanna be good and hammered

when you start slamming me

for that loan.

Oh, come on. That's not

what this is about.

I want you to have a nice

Sunday brunch with us.

Marty, get the "great-Iookin' guy"

a drink, will ya?

Fine. How about you, Evie?

You need to get hammered?

- A Bloody Mary, sweetie.

- Comin' right up.

I'll get one too.

We'll all get slammed.

- Look overdone to you?

- I'm not eating that.

You know, Diva,

you look really beautiful today.

Thank you, Laura.

So do you.

I love your hair.

I like your hair.

What is that scent?

Do you like it?

Oh, yeah...

I like it.

I'll take those.

You remember Dave Pembroke?

- I remember...

- His wife, Evie,

Billy's wife, Carol...

(exchanging greetings)

No, Billy, we're gonna put

you in the middle.

Billy sits here.

Billy will be in the middle.

- Don't fight over me.

- And I'll put Diva right here.

- It's fine, honey.

- I'll get another chair.

Thank you. Come on,

you sit here.

Just want you to know

who runs this house...

Laura.

It's good to see you, man.

Good to see you, too.

I remember your older brother.

Oh, Jesus.

Are you still kickin' ass?

I remember when you and he

took on the Statler twins...

Sausage?

No.

Let's hope marriage and California

have settled him down.

He's settled down.

He's just a big pushover now.

Somehow, Evie,

I kinda doubt that...

(Billy:
)

Marty tells me you're doing good.

(Marty:
)

Good? He's got 18 furniture stores...

Excuse me...

I'm gonna help Lucia in the kitchen.

Okay, help Lucia in the kitchen.

Billy... you need a place setting.

Lucia will get it.

Lucia...!

That's okay...

- Laura, sit down, please...

- It's fine...

I know exactly where it is.

I'm gonna go help Diva.

I don't want your food to get cold.

It's the Pembrokes...

I'm gonna go help Diva, okay?

Careful with the butter.

Diva, I am so sorry.

I really am sorry.

I don't know what's gotten into me...

I feel like a pig.

What is going on?

Marty told me this thing

about you in college, seeing girls,

ever since he told me,

I can't get it or you out of my mind.

You know I'm getting married

in two months, right?

- Yes, I do.

- You do?

I do. Like I said before,

I'm sorry.

- I'm just so attracted to you.

- Laura...!

You ever see

the Statler Twins, Dave?

Do I see them? No.

They still live back in Michigan.

You ever see any

of the guys you beat up?

Just curious.

First of all, I didn't beat

that many guys up.

Second of all, no...

I left Michigan after high school,

and I haven't been back.

Must be kinda weird

to run into somebody

Remember me?

You broke my clavicle?

You look good.

I'm sorry, Diva.

I'm really sorry.

You should be.

I'm really not into women.

Me neither.

Oh, my God... Oh, my God.

Oh, my God... okay.

Laura, I'm gonna go.

I think that's the best thing

in this situation.

I'm gonna go.

I'm straight... I am.

I'm straight... I am.

What we're talking about,

we have ten lots we can obtain.

These houses finished

are at a million, million two...

We have seven, seven and a quarter

in some of the houses.

Okay, I'm gonna say goodbye.

Something wrong, Diva?

No...

I gotta be somewhere,

I'm running really straight...

late... I'm running really late.

I'm gonna go.

Just stay awhile.

Marty...?

Tell Diva not to go.

Diva, don't go

Bye...

No... don't.

Please stay.

Laura, I have to go now.

Let me walk you to the door.

I know where the door is.

I'll walk her to the door.

- I'm sorry.

- Honey, don't be silly.

Really...

You've got guests...

I'll walk her to the door.

You're in the middle

of important business...

I'll walk her to the door.

Can I talk to you?

Diva, don't go anywhere.

Please.

I just wanna talk to you

before you go.

I won't go.

Promise me you won't go.

Let me hold your purse.

- One minute... be right back.

- Don't go, babe.

- What's going on!?

- Nothing.

- I just want her to stay.

- You want Diva to stay?

I want us both

to be with her tonight.

You want us to be with Diva?

Are you crazy?

Do you have any idea...

how important this brunch is to me?

You've got to know.

You've got to admit

that she is foxy.

She's foxy? What are you,

K.D. Lang? Are you out of your mind?

This will be good for us.

I just want you to be happy...

Don't touch me.

You want me to be happy?

- Yes.

- Good. Listen...

Let her go home,

and you snap out of it.

Honey, I know you think

she 's fine.

You're being a nutcase.

Snap out of it.

Billy, can you get Laura a bagel?

I'm gonna walk Diva to the door.

I'm gonna walk Diva... I...

- Go sit down.

- You let me in!

Sit the f*** down!

(snarling)

Go...!

- What's going on?

- Nothing...

Marty... did you ask your wife

to hit on me?

- No...!

- Is that what's going on?

Why would I do that?

What am I, a deviate?

Why would I ask my wife

to hit on a woman...?

Because she just did.

She hit on me big time.

Okay, so why do I get blamed?

I had nothing to do with it.

She did it on her own.

- She did it on her own?

- Yes. She's going through something.

She's going throught something?

She's having a breakdown or something.

- A breakdown?

- It's not a big deal.

I'm just gonna say goodbye.

- I think I'm gonna talk to her...

- No...

Diva, no. Just gonna say goodbye.

Thank you... Agggh!

Didi!?

I don't need to talk to you.

I need to see Laura.

No, wait, Didi...!

Gotta make sure we own

or have the rights to the lots...

Wait...!

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