The Sex Monster Page #6

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Nothing is going to happen.

Would you just relax?

All set, Laura.

I'm rarin' and ready to go.

I am your prisoner

for the next 24 hours.

Just... do with me what you will.

Oh, God...

Listen to me,

we need to postpone this,

just till we get you professional help.

I don't need professional help, Marty.

Okay, I got a good compromise.

Separate rooms, okay?

On the far side of the hotel.

You can be in the east wing,

she can be in the west wing.

You're on thin ice here, Laura,

thin ice...

- Laura, sweetie...

- Bye.

No, don't go! No, wait...

Bye, Marty!

Laura, don't you dare have sex

with my baby sister!

(knocking)

- Hey, buddy.

- Hey, Murphy.

- Made myself a little sandwich.

- No problem.

Where's Laura?

She's in Vegas with my sister.

Is she diddling your sister?

She is?

I didn't say that.

Your wife is diddling your sister...!

Your wife is diddling your sister?

Your wife - is diddling your sister?!

That's great!

Your wife is diddling your sister?

Hey, who can blame her?

Your sister's a hottie.

Can I use your phone?

I wanna call my wife,

I'd like to set the two of them up

for a little lunch.

(car approaching)

Ellen, baby... hi.

Have fun?

Look at this, you're dressed alike...?

You're all happy, look at you,

you're happy.

You won? Is that what happened,

you won?

No? You lost, and you're all smiley

'cause you lost?

Actually, we didn't gamble.

No, no gambling.

I'll see you soon.

I had a wonderful time.

So did I. Bye.

Wonderful? What do you mean,

"wonderful"?

You saw shows? You

went shopping... right?

- No shows.

- No shows...?

Laura... tell me you didn't

have sex with my sister.

I didn't have sex with your sister.

I mean, not like you're thinking.

Not really.

Not really? What does that mean,

"not really"?

How do you "not really"

have sex with someone's sister?

We talked, we held each other,

and it was really nice.

You know what? It's been so long

since anybody's touched her.

Don't tell me that.

I don't wanna know that.

Do you want breakfast?

I'm gonna have a giant breakfast.

This is becoming

a nightmare with you.

- No, it isn't.

- Yes, it is.

You're taking this the wrong way.

I am feeling so great.

Oh, good.

This is going

to be good for us.

"Good for us"...? How is this

going to be good for us?!

You had sex with my sister!

Hey...

big family reunion coming,

why don't you make a wish list?

Well, that's it.

I've blown it.

Turned her into a sex monster.

She's gonna leave me, too, Billy.

I can feel it.

You haven't blown it.

She's not going anywhere.

So she likes girls, big deal.

So do you.

Now you got something in common.

This is what you wanted.

Relax. Enjoy it.

Easy for you to say, BIIly.

It's not your wife.

If it was my wife,

I'd be diggin' it.

But that ain't never gonna happen.

Carol's too damned hungry

to bother having sex.

Hey, just spoke with Pembroke.

Got some pretty good news for ya...

- Guy sounds very interested...

- Yeah?

What was that for?

That's for you

and your wife's big mouth.

I'm sorry, honey.

I did tell Carol

about what you told me

about Billy's girlfriend.

I'm sorry.

I was in a weakened state,

and we were talking,

she was vulnerable...

she was hungry and she needed

someone to share a pizza with.

And not be judged for it.

She really needed me.

Carol really needed me.

She did.

Hey, Marty, how's that hot

little wife of yours?

Wouldn't mind gettin' me

some of that action.

I'd bang your wife so hard, Marty,

you'd think a brass band

was coming down the street.

Who's my b*tch? I'd have her

screaming,"Who's my b*tch?"

I would go so far down

on your wife,

you'd need a passport

to get her out of Central America.

I was with your wife so long,

I gotta put my tongue in a sling.

I'd chew her box

like a f***in' hamster.

Nng-nng-nyagh!

Hey, babe.

Dr. Berman called.

He wants you to come right away.

Well, Marty, we found a polyp.

We need to take it out.

- Take it out?

- Does that mean surgery?

We do it here, now, run a test

and make sure it's benign.

Do it right here?

It's a very simple procedure, really.

Little prep work, one machine,

works with lasers.

Nice machines. Made by Sony.

Sony?

So... did I tell ya

I bought that Porsche Boxter?

Sweetie, wake up.

Wake up, honey.

- You need to eat.

- I'm not hungry, Laura.

You haven't eaten all day.

Have a little soup.

I don't want any soup.

Honey... here, let me help you up.

What? Why is it so important

that I eat soup?

- What do you mean?

- What'd you put in my soup?

- You put something in my soup?

- Marty...

Is that it? Slip a little doozy

in Marty's soup...

Send him off to all-boy heaven?

Move one of your little Bettys in,

is that what's going on?

- You're delirious.

- I'm not delirious,

not with everything that's going on.

It's not far-fetched.

Perfect time. Blame it on the polyp.

How do I know you didn't

put something in this soup?

You're being ridiculous, honey.

Would you like me

to try the soup?

Yeah... you have the soup.

I'm sorry... I'm just wacked.

I'm sorry.

Hey, I'm sorry.

It's good soup.

(ringing)

Hello?

Yeah, just a moment.

Honey...

it's Dr. Berman.

- Hello?

- Marty? Jerry Berman.

These calls go one of two ways.

This one's going your way,

Marty. You're fine.

You should have a good life.

Give Laura my love...

and Marty, I gotta tell ya,

I've known you a long time,

you're the biggest baby

I've ever operated on. Ever.

I mean it. You're a wuss, Marty.

Okay, bye-bye.

Bye.

It's okay.

Marty?

I love you.

The scare was really good for me.

It made me realize

how much I love you.

Lately, I've been thinking I was hiding

this dark desire from you...

but, I haven't been.

Not at all.

It's not what I want.

I want what we have.

It's more important to me

than having sex with women.

I only wanna be with you.

Really, that's what I figured out...

I just wanna have sex with you.

Thanks, Laura. I gotta tell you,

I feel the same way.

A lot of sex, Marty.

A lot of sex...?

Okay... good.

I wanna triple the amount

of sex that we have.

You wanna triple the amount

of sex we have?

It's a lot of sex.

Ow - ow, ow...!

Don't stop, don't stop.

Was that okay?

You could do better.

I'm ready again, Marty.

Wake up.

Aggh - gentle, babe...!

Gentle...!

Come on... up-up-up!

It's playtime!

(car horn tootling)

Oh, sh*t, it's the Pembrokes.

- Hey, Dave.

- Hey, Marty, how ya doin'?

- Doin' good.

- Sorry to just drop by...

but we were in the neighborhood.

I thought you might

show us that house.

Definitely. Let me tell Laura

that I'm gonna go.

Bring her. I have a feeling

I'll need some company.

- Marty, you okay?

- I'm fine.

Every bedroom has it's own balcony.

First class windows,

everything high end...

Everything.

We get the best of everything.

Marty, this is a hell of a house.

This kid is a real talent.

Yes, he is, he's very talented.

He's lucky he's got

a strong partner, this was not easy...

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