The Sex Monster Page #7

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I am very impressed

with this kid's work.

I'm glad.

We put a lot of work into it.

So, do you really dislike L.A.?

No. Dave does.

When you stay married long enough...

you have to think hard

which opinions are your own.

Yeah, I find myself doing that.

Grafting onto Marty's

likes and dislikes.

I hate to admit, being with Dave

has really changed me.

I used to be a Democrat.

He turned me into a Republican.

They can do that.

Before Dave, I was actually

a bit of a liberal.

What's this room in here?

This room is gonna be...

this is the...

I don't know. He's gonna be here,

we'll ask him.

Evie wants to have lunch.

Lunch with you and Evie?

You think that's a good idea?

What are you talking about?

Her husband is my only

serious silent investor...

and you have the sexual self-control

of a 52-year-old senator.

- You tell me.

- Thank you very much, honey.

Oh, damn, I got a parking ticket.

Goddamn parking ticket.

Honey, calm down.

It's just a parking ticket.

It's not a parking ticket.

It's God f***ing with me.

First, he sends parking tickets,

then drought and famine.

No, he's not in either.

I asked Romberg, he gave me

the "money is tight" speech.

I'll figure it out.

All right...

Bye.

I've been thinking about it.

You think she really likes you?

Evie Pembroke?

Yeah, I think she likes me.

I know this is gonna piss you off...

this is gonna sound bad,

but I think you should pursue it.

Marty...?

Are you asking me

to have sex with Evie?

No, I'm not ask... no.

I'm asking you to do

your little pizza gag,

do your little rap on her,

you know, get cozy...

Excuse me, I don't have a "rap",

and I resent this.

I'm just asking you to get

a litle friendly with the woman,

get to know her, talk her into

talking her husband...

into investing in my project, okay?

It's a favor I'm asking,

to keep this house, our lifestyle,

I need you to go in

for one last strategic hit.

What?

Wasn't such a big goddamn deal

when you were chasing my sister

around the Wayne Newton Suite.

Laura...!

These are so great,

you really are talented.

Thank you.

Marty made all my shelves.

I love this little guy.

That's my dad.

That's my father.

Really?

I didn't know you knew my father.

Laura, I really,

really love your work.

It's so... warm.

Thank you.

I didn't know you did women.

I... don't, really...

I tried a few.

Looks like you have

a feel for them.

Do you like it?

I think I figured out...

that I preferred doing men.

That's a shame.

Look at you...

You're blushing.

- Am I?

- You're bright red...

I really don't think

we should be doing this.

Yes, we should...

I really don't...

Yes. We should.

I thought you were against this?

Me? No... Dave is.

- Dave is?

- Let go.

I'm the opposite of Dave.

Dave is square.

I am the opposite of square.

You're the opposite of square?

The first night I met you,

I picked up on your energy.

I've got an eye

and an ear for it.

I can pick 'em out in a crowd.

Straight little wife

with a straight little life.

You're so pent up, aren't you?

It's okay. You're about ready

to let the dam burst.

I think I kinda like the dam.

I'm not sure

I wanna see it burst.

I've gotta go.

We'll continue this conversation

another time.

Hey, how you doin', man?

Listen...

I'm kidding. I was joking.

Hey... she looks great.

Hi, Carol.

(Billy:
)

I don't know what your wife did to her,

but she's a whole different animal.

She's on a diet, she's into sex,

So things worked out, right?

Friends again?

No.

I know why you told her.

You think you're better than me.

Because you think you don't cheat

behind your wife's back...

because you cheat

in front of her face,

you've found this high moral ground

where you can judge me from.

- That's not true, Billy.

- It is true.

It isn't...

It is, and you know it.

And you're wrong.

You can be in the same bed

with your wife and be cheating on her.

- You're in big trouble with God.

- Don't say that.

I'm gonna finish the house,

we'll sell it...

You'll get your money back,

then, you know what?

We're done. I mean it.

We're done.

Fine. I got it.

I don't like you.

I don't trust you.

I got it.

I just realized that you're not

my kinda guy.

Hey - I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

Evie...! Hi.

I was just going shopping.

You wanna join me?

Shopping? No, no...

I've already done my shopping.

I'm here to close a sale.

Close a sale?

- I'm going inside.

- You're going inside?

Inside, upstairs, I'm gonna wait

for you in the bedroom.

Wait for me?

I don't have a lotta time.

It's my Cub Scout pickup day.

Come on, come on...

quickly.

Wait for me upstairs...?

Door's locked.

Billy? It's for you.

- This is Billy.

- This is Pembroke...

Where's your partner?

I got a check for him.

I'm in with you guys,

I just wanna go over a few things.

I don't know.

I think he went home.

I'll head over there.

I'll talk to you soon.

All right.

Hey...

you wanna have

some real fun?

More fun than this?

Those are Marty's favorite ties...

Aw, poor Marty.

To hell with Marty!

I want you to tie me up.

Now, push me down!

Push me hard.

There you go...

tied up and gagged. What's next?

(garbled)

The pillow...?

Evie, you're starting

to scare me now.

Laura?

Laura?

- Oh, sh*t!

- Marty...!

Are you kiddin' me?!

Marty...

don't be mad.

Don't be mad.

You were the one, you told me...

I was, what? "The one", what?

I told you to tie her up?!

You've got Dave Pembroke's wife

tied up in our bedroom!

Have you lost touch with reality?!

Marty... you started all of this.

You.

- Me...?

- Yes.

I said, "get chummy with her."

I didn't ask to take her hostage.

Oh, my God!

You made me open certain doors

that I shouldn't have opened.

What are you talking about?

You know exactly

what I'm talking about.

- This is what you wanted.

- What I wanted?

I wanted you to tie up

Evie Pembroke in our bedroom?

You wanted me to be...

you know!

What?

I wanted you to try a few things.

I wanted you to fool around a little.

Is that so bad?

I didn't want you to become

a walking orgasm!

Jesus, you've taken

the whole thing way too far!

No, I haven't.

Don't you say that.

- Yes, you have.

- Don't you say that!

Listen to me. You've taken

the whole thing way too far.

You're tying women up,

and you're gagging them, now.

That's too far. What's next...

I'm gonna come home and you'll be

performing surgery on some girl!

It is not like that.

This is your fault.

I was happy...

I was happy

just being your wife!

Oh, Laura,

will you just calm dowm?

If you had all this in you,

it was gonna come out sooner or later.

Maybe, maybe not.

Maybe I didn't want the dam to burst.

Ever think about that?

What "dam"?

What are you talking about?

You burst the dam, Marty.

What f***in' "dam"?

- This is all your doing.

- My doing?

You tied that woman up in there.

Not me... you.

- She's tied up with my Hugo Boss ties?

- She picked the ties.

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