The Sheriff of Fractured Jaw Page #8

Guns.

They're very fine guns, only these

Americans won't appreciate the fact.

- Sheriff get back yet, Chick?

- No, I ain't seen him.

We ain't seen him yet either.

We sure would like to catch up

with him.

Why, you dirty,

yellow-livered snakes.

You're hunting him down

in pairs now, huh?

Well, let me tell you something,

you'll be toting no guns in my place.

If you don't want to play

by house rules, you git.

The both of you, hit the trail.

Git!

And if you're here after sundown,

I'll do some shooting myself.

Too bad they didn't hang you

when they hung your brothers.

- You fixing to bury somebody, Hank?

- The new sheriff.

Well, he ain't gone and got himself

killed already, has he?

Not yet, but I seen him heading out

towards the Indian country.

Figured he's been gone long enough.

So I'd better go out and pick him up.

You looking for someone, Kate?

Yeah, so's Hank.

I caught up with that sheriff. I don't

know why he didn't gun me down.

He made it clear he's with Lazy S.

I figured that last night.

I didn't know they'd make him sheriff.

They got the law on their side now.

Suppose he brings

in the U.S. Marshal or cavalry?

He won't have time. Round up the boys.

We're riding into Fractured Jaw today.

Why, the Lazy S will be in town.

First we get the sheriff and then we

settle with the Lazy S once and for all.

Whoa.

Hello, sir.

More damn lives than a cat.

Come on. Giddap!

Whoa.

Put those in my room, dear boy.

Thank you.

- Peace offering.

- Oh!

- Well, it's just lovely.

- And so are you.

Wait. When I was a little girl,

I was taught to take my medicine...

...without putting it off.

You know, get it over with quick.

Sign of a strong character.

Well, here goes.

I'm nasty, stubborn and unreasonable.

I got the rottenest temper

this side of the Rockies...

...and, well, I behave

just like an old witch.

Well? Well, don't just sit there,

I apologized to you.

I accept your apology.

Is that all you've got to say?

You mean you believed all those things

I said about myself?

With reservations.

Why, you swellheaded,

narrow-minded stuffed shirt.

If you had half the brains

of a loco coyote, then you'd know...

...I was right in everything I said

to you this afternoon.

Well, what are you thinking?

I do hope our children take after me.

You know what?

I hope they do too.

- But not the girls.

- Even the girls.

Now you're being stubborn.

I'm just being in love.

Hey, I hadn't even told you

about the good news.

Oh, I react very well to good news.

I've been showing this all over town.

Not the thingamajig, of course,

just the gun.

Everybody thinks they can be just as fast

as you are, and they all want one.

You can sell enough of these...

...to make Tibbs and Company

the biggest gun dealers in all the West.

Kate, you're wonderful.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- Well, come in.

- Oh, howdy, Kate. Howdy, sheriff.

That's a mighty fine load of furs

you got out there.

- Why, thank you, sir.

- I run the general merchandise store...

...and I got some good connections

with fur buyers.

I thought we might make a deal,

if you've a mind to sell.

Kate, it's not very difficult

to become a merchant.

Trade guns for furs,

then sell the furs, simple.

Mister, would you mind telling me

where you traded them furs?

Why, certainly. I came across some

chaps who were very eager for guns.

They couldn't do enough for me.

Most appreciative they were. Indians.

- Indians!

- Yes, sort of...

I drove a hard bargain,

though I say it myself.

Jonathan, you couldn't have.

Mister, that's just about

the lowest thing a white man ever done.

You ain't no better

than a skunk.

I'll thank you to keep a civil tongue

in your head.

- Why shouldn't I?

- Lf the Indians have guns...

...they'll wipe us all out.

- That's nonsense.

Lookie here, you.

If there's any of us left alive in this here

town after them Indians get through...

...we'll hang you

to the nearest cottonwood.

Trot home and look after your

various enterprises, there's a good chap.

Kate, you don't understand.

These Indians have made me

a blood brother.

I have their promise

not to use guns against white men.

- You can't believe them.

- Oh, there's no need to feel disturbed.

I'm on very familiar terms

with these men.

Good heavens, we...

We call each other by our first names.

"Good morning, Running Deer."

"Cheerio, Fleet Iron Hat."

I'm Fleet Iron Hat.

- Renegade.

- Oh, shut up!

Don't you understand?

You've done the one unforgivable thing.

Any man in the territory will

shoot you down on sight.

Unless a bunch of them

get to you first and string you up.

Oh. Oh.

Well, I really seem to have let the cat

among the pigeons.

- Doc, I hear tell they're on the way.

- Indians?

Worse. The Box T.

All of them riding toward town.

- It's the Lazy S day.

- Great balls of fire.

This town will be more full of holes

than a woodpecker's nest.

What on earth is happening?

They'll start shooting

the minute they see each other.

The only good thing is,

you might be in the middle.

As for me, I'm hightailing it

for the hills.

- All right, we're leaving.

- We are?

Give me a few minutes to throw

some things in a bag. You get packed.

I'm not sure

I care about this running away.

You stay, and you'll be carried away.

Well, cowboys should be willing to listen

to reason the same as anyone else.

Look, Jonathan. It's me, Kate.

Not mad, no temper.

For the first time in my life

I'm scared.

- Really?

- Scared for you.

You know, I always wanted to live

in Chicago or New York or even London.

Now I don't care where we go,

just so long as it's away from here, fast.

If you want to settle in America

or England or even at the North Pole...

...well, that's for me too.

I won't be long.

Go on, fill her up, Chick.

Fill her up.

When that fighting starts there won't be

a drop of liquor left in Fractured Jaw.

It's a cinch there ain't gonna

be none where I'm heading.

Just put this here on my bill.

- I may live to pay it, and I may not.

- Yeah.

Well, Mister Sheriff, you sure

put your foot in it this time.

This here town's apt to get

wiped off the map.

And I've got to go out

and protect the innocent citizens.

And that, my friend,

is gonna take a heap of courage.

MASTERS:

Everybody clear the street.

Run for your lives, take cover.

The Box T and the Lazy S outfits are

both coming to town at the same time.

And they're loaded. Forbear.

Hide out, everybody.

Everybody clear the street.

Everybody take cover.

That's right, take cover, take cover.

Hell's gonna be a-popping

around here.

WOMAN:

Come on, child, let's hurry.

MAN 1:

Take them to the church.

MAN 2:

Get down and cover.

- I see you're a-figuring to run out on us.

- I beg your pardon?

Sheriff Tibbs, this whole town looked up

to you, loved and respected you.

But you fooled us,

just like you fooled Miss Kate.

A-hiding behind her petticoats.

- You're pretty fond of Kate, aren't you?

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