The Sheriff of Fractured Jaw Page #7

- Yes.

Now, he's Lazy S.

- Now look over there. See that?

- Mm-hm.

Box T.

Now, he'll spot the other fellow

just as he passes the rise. You watch.

There you are. What I tell you?

That's shooting.

Get under the bed, Mandy.

This is terrible.

Those two are trying to kill each other.

No, they ain't

trying to kill each other.

He ain't got a chance.

He's looking to clear out.

Doubt if he'll make it.

[GUNFIRE]

Are you gonna stand there

and let him get shot?

In the first place, I ain't standing.

Because if a stray bullet comes this way

it ain't fussy whose head it bumps into.

Second, it appears to me

if anybody's going to tangle...

...with that man,

it ought to be the sheriff.

And I ain't the sheriff.

How about you?

Well, if you put it like that,

I suppose.

- Come on.

- Hm?

If I was you, I'd come in

from back of that rise.

A man with an itchy trigger finger

sometimes don't wait...

...to meet with somebody

who gets in his rifle sights.

Apparently it's my duty as sheriff to try

and stop this violence.

Although I've little regard

for these two chaps...

...or for this part of the world.

At least in England they aim a decent

gun at a bird that can't shoot back.

You reckon

we'll be seeing him again?

Drop that gun. I'm the sheriff.

The sheriff? I heard about you.

I gather you're a member

of the Box T organization.

- So?

- Now, you listen to me.

As long as I continue to be sheriff...

...I'm going to use my authority

to maintain law and order.

And heaven help

any member of your organization...

...who indulges in rowdy

or unlawful behavior.

You can go back

and tell that to your headman.

You mean to say you're telling

the Box T how to act?

Exactly. I may have had

this office thrust upon me...

...but I'll carry out its duties

to the utmost of my ability.

I get where we stand.

Clayborne and the boys will be glad

to know for sure.

Next time we meet, sheriff,

it's gonna be head-on.

- I seen what you done, sheriff. Thanks.

- Don't mention it.

With you on our side...

...the Box will be mopped up in no time.

My dear chap,

I'm not on your side.

So it's like that.

I'm rapidly reaching the limits

of my patience.

You Lazy S chaps better realize that

if you want to avoid trouble.

Okay, if that's the way you want it.

You're talking pretty big now.

Let's see how you act the next time.

Many thanks.

- Drop in any time I ain't eating, sheriff.

- Delighted, I'm sure.

Good day to you, sir.

Good day, ma'am.

Come on.

That sheriff's a heap smarter

than he looks.

Yup. Well, you've ate,

baby's ate, now reckon I'll go eat.

[WHOOPING AND SHOUTING]

Look out.

JONATHAN:

Hey, look out.

Hey, look...

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

All right, Doc, get it off your chest.

Tell me he's gone out of town

and he ain't coming back.

Tell me I'm making a fool of myself.

He's as stubborn and ornery

as a walleyed mule.

And I let him go out

in the Pecos country all by himself.

And I'll probably

never see him again.

Oh, don't you worry about that.

He'll be back, all right.

You know what, the good Lord,

he looks after fools and Englishmen.

[CHANTING]

[SPEAKING IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

How dare you. Oh!

[LAUGHS]

Outrageous. You're taking advantage

of the fact that you're a woman.

[LAUGHING]

Steady, that's below the belt.

[SPEAKING IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

RUNNING DEER:

You're a lucky man.

You call this lucky?

You speak English.

I was captured as a child

and sent to a white man's school.

Really?

Where's that hat lifter?

Really, now.

I seldom lose my temper, but

that woman's manners are atrocious.

Hello, sir. Haven't we met before?

You gave him his life,

now he'll give you yours.

Then I'm free to go. Oh, good.

Well, goodbye, sir.

Goodbye, gentlemen.

[SPEAKS IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

- What's he saying?

- He said you're a brave man.

He admires bravery,

even in a white man.

How charming.

[SPEAKS IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

What's he say now?

My father wishes to honor

the brave white man.

You will be adopted

and made his son.

Oh, really. Adopted?

Do I look like an Indian orphan?

You'll be a son of a chief.

I'll be the son of a...?

As far back as you care to check,

Tibbs have been Englishmen.

Not an Indian in the lot.

Oh, I'm sorry, gentlemen, you'll have

to find yourself another boy.

[SPEAKING IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

Please, this is quite ridiculous. I won't

consider it for one moment. I'm sorry.

Would you rather be a live Indian

or a dead Englishman?

Well?

I'm thinking.

[DRUM BEATS AND MAN SHOUTS]

Bravo. Well done.

[SPEAKS IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

- What's he say?

- He say, "It's your turn to show us."

What? Oh, good heavens.

But I've never been on a horse

in my life. I refuse.

[SPEAKING IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

- What's he say?

- He says he'll burn you at stake...

...and send

to happy hunting grounds.

I'll take the horse.

Steady. There's a good horse.

[GRUNTS]

Stand still, stand still.

[SPEAKS IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

Come on, move over. Get over.

There's a good boy. Come on, now.

Line up. Line up.

[MAN LAUGHS]

Do you mind?

[FABRIC RIPPING]

There we are, sir.

I never knew I had it in me.

Grandfather Digby

couldn't have done better himself.

[SPEAKING IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

- What's he say?

- You are our blood brother.

Your name is Fleet Iron Hat.

Oh, splendid. Thank you very much.

- Drink.

- Oh, thank you.

Well, good health, gentlemen.

Mmm.

It's quite flavorsome.

What vintage?

It is the blood from the heart

of the wild buffalo.

It gives you life

and makes you strong.

[SPEAKS IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

You must drink it all

or you die.

If I drink it all

it's extremely unlikely that I'll live.

Ugh.

You smoke pipe of peace.

What's this, the hair of the wild buffalo

to make me weak?

- Now we go to get the great reward.

- Reward?

[CHANTING]

[SPEAKS IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

- You pick one.

- What's this, another contest?

The one to be your wife,

make fine squaw.

Never work a day in your life.

My dear old boy, I can't possibly pick

one of these young ladies as a wife.

It's hard to choose

between such fine maidens.

- Why not take them all?

- Three wives?

[CHIEF SPEAKING IN

NATIVE AMERICAN LANGUAGE]

- What's he say?

- My father says these are too skinny.

He'll find something better.

[SPEAKS IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

Great Scott.

Father says these will keep you warm

in the winter.

[WHISTLES]

What about the summer?

RUNNING DEER:

A brave can have many wives.

Well, I'm not that brave.

Gentlemen, it's very charming of you.

I do appreciate it,

but I'd like a little more time...

...to get used to the fact

that I'm a new member of the family.

When you change your mind and

come home, your wives will be waiting.

Thank you so much, sir.

I must get on my way now.

Goodbye, madam.

Goodbye, my dear.

Good luck.

Good luck.

I'm over here on business,

you know. I sell guns.

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