The Singing Detective Page #3

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where their feet don't touch

the floor.

Makes me think

of nursery rhymes.

You don't want

to see me.

What sharpness. What perception.

And you don't like it at all

that l've got this.

lt's full of clues.

No, it's full of pages.

Oh, but clues are what

you're supposed to find

in a detective story.

Am l right, or...

am l right?

Jesus. You're good.

l know clues are

supposed to lead you

to the killer, but, uh...

what if they reveal

the victim a little

more clearly?

You think you're being

interesting, don't you?

lf this was a movie, you'd be

on the cutting room floor.

Does your book worry you?

l want to go back to my bed.

lt's vivid and exciting there.

Well, you don't

have any visitors.

How do you know?

Well, does your wife

come and visit you, or...

-l'm not married.

-or do you stop her when...?

l'm not married.

Oh, and period.

Oh, oh, yes, l see.

Stop it! Stop staring at me!

You've never seen

a human pizza before?

You... you don't like women,

do you?

Which ones? Young ones, old

ones, fat ones, faithful ones?

Virgins? Whores?

Try to be specific, Doc.

Maybe, maybe you think

you like 'em...

uh, but, uh, my guess is,

well, you don't like sex.

How do you spell that?

That's not a word

you see much nowadays.

You probably think you do.

Sex.

Well, we think about it

all the time-- l know l do.

Oh, if-if-if l say ''F*** you,''

does that mean yes?

Well, isn't it clear

that you regard

sexual intercourse

with, uh... distaste

or... perhaps even

a little fear?

What, am l trapped in here

with a fruitcake?

Here, for example,

on page 1 16...

This is against

the Geneva Convention.

Oh, l-l'm just going

to read you a passage

out of your own book.

-No!

-No?

Shove it up your ass!

Just walkin' in the rain

Getting soakin' wet

Oh, no.

Torturin' my heart

F***ing...

By tryin' to forget

Dad, what's wrong?

Just walkin' in the rain

So alone and blue...

l don't wish to upset you,

Mr. Dark.

l'm just walkin' in the rain,

Doc.

l think you know

you need help.

Now, you're too aware

of your own condition

to deny it.

Just collecting raindrops.

Most chronic skin patients

are on tranquilizers

or antidepressants.

See, the skin is

very personal.

lt's, uh, tempting

to believe that the

poisons of the mind

have somehow...

erupted onto the surface

of the skin.

''Unclean, unclean!'' you shout,

ringing your leper's bell,

warding us all off.

That'll destroy you.

Yes, l think you know that,

or at least

part of you does.

You can be helped.

Yeah, with a Mickey Finn.

Now, why mimic that stuff?

What stuff?

That out-the-side

-of-your-mouth

kind of stuff.

That down-these-mean-streets

kind of stuff.

l'm sorry.

What kind of stuff?

You know, my feeling is that,

um...

now that... after l've read

some of your prose...

Ho, ho, hee, hee.

...my feeling is

that, uh, you didn't

start out to write in this way.

What would you

have preferred

to have written?

What, if l had the talent,

you mean?

No, of course l don't mean that.

No, go ahead, be a critic.

You got the face for it.

lf you like, all right.

Uh, if you had the talent.

lf l had the talent,

one-liners for Michael Jackson,

two-liners for Helen Keller,

if it wouldn't be stretching her

too much.

Maybe traffic citations

for Ted Kennedy.

Who knows?

lt's just one word

after another.

That's where all the problems

of the world start:

the next goddamn word.

lt's not incriminating.

What isn't?

Telling me what you

would prefer to write.

l would like to have praised

a loving God

and all His Loving Creation...

Yes.

...and to have seen...

hosts of translucent angels

ascending spinning shafts

of golden light

to the deep blue caverns

of heaven.

Hell, they'd all have

these massive titties,

wouldn't they?

Well, here's one part here

that doesn't seem to... fit in

with the rest.

Here it is.

''Mouth sucking,

wet and slack at mouth,

''tongue chafing against tongue,

''limb thrusting

upon limb...

skin rubbing at skin.''

Hmm... ''Faces contort and

stretch into a helpless leer,

''organs spurt out smelly stains

and sticky betrayals.

''This is the sweaty farce

out of which we are

brought into being...''

Okay, okay, enough.

''We are implicated

without choice

''in the slippery catastrophe

''of copulations that spatter us

into existence.

Okay!

''We are spat

out of fevered loins.

Okay.

''We are the by-blows

of grunts and pantings

''in a rumpled and

creaking bed.

Shut up, you

sadistic quack!

Welcome.''

Hmm?

Yeah, the Milk of Paradise.

l can taste it now.

How much is that doggie

in the window?

The one

with the waggley tail

How much is that doggie

in the window?

l do hope

that doggie's for sale

l must take a trip

to California

And leave my poor sweetheart

alone...

''The Devil was alive

in his eyes,

''hot with hate.

''l felt that ice chink

against my spine.

Hell, l was staring

straight into...''

How much is that doggie...

Mark, he's going to see us.

No, Mark...

Stand out there,

he will see you.

Come on.

lt's okay.

Let go, Betty.

l'm just scared is all.

What can he do?

Nothing.

We're partners anyway.

Says so on the sign.

Partners in peanuts.

Hmm...

Well, l'll take my piece

right now.

Don't say it like that.

Oh, now, you're just scared,

that's all.

God, l love your mouth

when you don't like

something l say.

Ain't nothin' to be scared of.

Nobody comes to this old barn

no more...

except the rats.

And you.

Hmm?

Sounds like you've

been here before.

Me? What for?

Who with?

You are no good, Mark.

What about you...

Mrs. Dark?

Oh!

Oh.

Angel.

Here.

Come on, b*tch.

Tongue chafing against tongue,

limb thrusting upon limb,

skin rubbing at skin.

Faces contort and stretch

into a helpless leer.

Organs spurt out smelly stains

and...

Sticky betrayals.

Just walking in the rain

Getting soaking wet

Torturing my heart

By trying to forget

Just walking in the rain

So alone and blue

All because my heart

He's still waving.

Dad just kept waving.

-Still remembers you...

-What?

l said, how far is it?

About 200 miles.

Will we like it--

Los Angeles?

Mom?

lt'll be dark

and full of gangsters.

l'm afraid

he had to be sedated.

He's been asleep

most of the day.

The poor man.

They're trying him

on a new drug,

but you know that, of course.

Of course.

Mr. Dark?

Your wife.

You know what, l...

Maybe we shouldn't wake him.

They wanted to know if you came.

The doctors.

They'd like to speak with you.

Well, yeah, maybe

l-l should speak to somebody.

l mean, at least l won't

get my head bitten off.

Sorry?

Oh, uh, if he wakes up

and sees me here,

you'll know what l mean.

lt's... Dan Dark, Darker,

Darkest, kind of his thing.

Actually,

l'm-l'm going to go. l...

l think

l shouldn't have come.

l just...

l shouldn't even try.

Wait. Please...

Farewell, my lovely.

You b*tch!

Nicola!

Come here, you disgusting tramp!

You two-bit slag b*tch!

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