The Somewhat Normal Life Of Billie Boi (0.5th Draft) Page #3

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Lo:
What are you saying?

Heather (stomping the ground): I GOT EVERYTHING I COULD NEED RIGHT HERE!

Lo:
Oh boy, Why did I give you that refund? You didn’t deserve it.

Heather:
HA! YOU’RE SO FUNNY I FORGOT TO LAUGH!

Lo:
Am I?

Kilo:
One order of nachos!

Heather (grabbing the nachos): Get lost, Lo, Order 667?

Dave:
Me!

We cut to Bill walking out of Field’s Tax and Job Site services building, looking happy.

Bill:
I start tomorrow! I start tomorrow! I got a job! I got a job!

Bill is then ran into again.

Eli:
Not again!

Eli gets out of his car, and runs off.

Bill:
What is going on? What the--

He notices no one in the car.

Bill:
I’m not going crazy, right?

A random voice says yes.

Bill:
Oh gosh.

Bill gets up, and runs off as several cars begin to honk at him.

Bill (thinking in his head): What is going on?

He randomly falls over. We cut to two months later, He is talking to a person.

Miles:
So you’re telling me I can’t pay off the debt without major adjustments?

Bill:
Affirmative.

Miles (looking stressed): Crap, crap, crap, I can’t. I just can’t, I moved into a house with lower rent, I only shop at Two Dollar Tree, I don’t know what to do!

Bill (not knowing what to say): Uhhhh, Uhhhh, Affirmative.

Miles:
YOU DON’T CARE, DO YOU?!

Bill:
Am I supposed to?

Miles:
Crap, crap, crap, crap, CRAP!

Bill:
Ummmmm, I’ll let you--

Miles:
Well, There’s got to be another way!

Bill:
No, That doesn’t seem to be the case.

Miles:
Crap, Man, I don’t know what I can do.

Bill:
Well, I’ll send you the--

Miles:
I don’t care, I’ll see ya around.

Miles leaves.

Bill:
People just seem weird today.

His boss, Kim walks in.

Kim:
Well, Well, Well, Bill, You seem off today.

Bill (chuckles):
Whatever do you mean?

Kim:
That! That! What is up with you?

Bill (sarcastic): I have no clue what you’re talking about.

Kim:
You don’t?

Bill (hateful):
No.

Kim:
You are unbelievable!

Bill (still hateful): You’re acting odd.

Kim:
I’m acting odd? As If!

Bill (sarcastic): Naw. You’re not, You’re acting perfectly normal!

Kim:
This is the attitude that gets people fired!

Bill (sarcastic): Oh, You’re going to fire me?! Really?

Bill jumps up.

Bill (hateful):
GO AHEAD! GET IT OVER WITH!

Kim:
Take the day off, but when you come back, Get a better attitude.

We cut to Bill walking out of the building. Lo is right there near him.

Lo:
Yo, Billie boy.

Bill (sarcastic): Yo, Best buddy.

Lo:
You’re not in a good mood.

Bill (hateful):
No, I’m not.

Lo puts his phone up.

Bill (Sarcastic): No, I’m in a great mood!

Lo:
Come on, Get in a better mood!

Bill:
Why?

Lo:
Why? That’s really all you have to say to me?

Bill:
Seems that way.

Lo:
Does it?

Bill:
Seems that way.

Lo:
You’re annoying.

Bill (hateful):
And you’re dumb.

Lo:
What do you dislike about me? I’m a good guy, What’s your actual name again?

Bill (sarcastic): Moron.

Lo:
Okay, Moron, Anyway, We don’t have a second to lose.

Bill:
What are you talking about?

Lo:
I need you for a mission.

Bill:
Mission? I’m just a normal guy, not a soldier or science volunteer.

Lo:
You’ll get paid a lot for it.

Bill:
How much?

Lo:
420,021.

Bill:
Jesus Christ, Yeah, I may volunteer for that.

Lo (pulling out bat): Actually, I’m forcing you to.

Lo hits Bill’s head with a baseball bat.

Lo:
Sorry, Billie boy, It looks like you’re being forced.

Lo drags Bill’s body into his van.

Morales (in the passenger seat): You got the volunteer?

Lo:
You could say that.

Morales:
Could?

Lo:
Just take him there.

Morales:
Really?

Bill wakes up in his seat. Miles is saying something.

Miles:
Okay, I’ll see--

Miles notices that Bill is asleep.

Miles:
Bill? Bill! BILL?! BILL!

Bill wakes up.

Bill:
Jesus, What time is it?

Miles:
I’ve been going on about something, and then I realized you were asleep.

Bill:
Oh. I’m sorry--

Miles:
It’s fine, it’s fine. I don’t really care tbh.

Bill:
You don’t?

Miles:
No, My friend said he’d loan me the money, so I don’t even know why I came here.

Bill:
How’s the company trouble going?

Miles:
The lawyer said that he’ll look at my files.

Miles begins to walk out.

Miles:
I don’t even know why I came here.

Bill:
I mean, I get paid 12.5% more every time you visit anyway. So, I’m fine with that.

Miles:
Ha, I bet you are.

Bill:
Oh, I am. I am.

Miles:
I bet so.

Bill:
Yeah.

We cut to an angry looking Field talking to Lo.

Field:
What do you mean, Bill needs to work for you?! He’s already got a job!

Lo:
He’s a good employee--

Field:
He’s blacklisted you, That means you’re one of the people he refuses to work for!

Lo:
What do I have to do?!

Field:
What do you mean?

Lo:
I can pay you, I can pay you for this.

Field:
You’re unbelievable--

Lo:
How much?

Field:
What?

Lo:
How much? I know you’re in major debt, I can get you out of it.

Field:
You think you can--

Lo:
I know I can. I got anything you want.

Field:
Do you now? Well, Do you happen to have one-hundred-and eighty-nine thousand four-hundred and twenty thousand dollars?

Lo:
Yes.

Field:
Oh shoot, You do?

Lo:
Yes, Way more in fact.

Field:
Okay, I’ll get you in the system.

Lo:
You’ll receive it by the end of the week.

Field:
I better.

Lo (walking out): You will, You will.

We cut to Bill eating a candy stick outside when Lo walks out, and notices him.

Lo:
Yo, Billie boy.

Bill (sarcastic): Yo, Best buddy.

Lo:
You’re not in a good mood.

Bill (hateful):
No, I’m not.

Lo puts his phone up.

Bill (Sarcastic): No, I’m in a great mood!

Lo:
Come on, Get in a better mood!

Bill:
Why?

Lo:
Why? That’s really all you have to say to me?

Bill:
Seems that way.

Lo:
Does it?

Bill:
Seems that way.

Lo:
You’re annoying.

Bill (hateful):
And you’re dumb.

Lo:
What do you dislike about me? I’m a good guy, What’s your actual name again?

Bill (sarcastic): Moron.

Lo (getting in his van to leave): I’ll be seeing you.

Bill (somewhat angry): I better not.

Lo drives off.

Bill (hateful):
What was his deal?

Bill walks back inside, and sits down. He goes on his computer, but it won’t turn on.

Bill:
Stupid thing, Turn on!

Bill punches the computer.

Bill:
Work!

Sam (female), the electronics supervisor, walks up to him.

Sam:
What’s going on?

Bill:
It won’t turn on.

Sam:
Oh, Great, Your computer has bit the dust.

Bill:
Seems that way.

Sam (unplugging it): I’ll have to manage getting you a new one--

Bill:
Oh no, It’s fine, I got a Windows Vista computer sitting somewhere in my attic.

Sam (looking at him, surprised): You own a Windows Vista computer?

Bill:
Yeah, What else can I play GTA IV on?

We cut to a man named Chason, a hacker, talking with Lo.

Chason:
I could look into it.

Lo:
Oh thank you.

Chason:
Let’s see, What do you want? Tax Fraud? Bill Fraud--?

Lo:
Well, I mean, He works in the Tax Department--

Chason:
I’ve got a plan.

Lo:
You do?

Chason:
It’ll be costly, but--

Lo:
I’LL DO IT!

Chason (Pulling out phone): Okay, It’ll be a simple hack.

Lo:
Simple ones are always the best.

Chason:
I suppose so.

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