The Somewhat Normal Life Of Billie Boi (0.5th Draft) Page #5

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Jay:
Was you aware he was part of Tax Fraud?

Everyone looks shocked.

Jay:
And that you were part of it?

Bill:
No.

Field:
That is a lie! Why you--

Jim:
Bill, Do you know Miles?

Bill:
Somewhat, He was here, talking to me about tax fraud--

Jim:
Was he acting odd, at all--?

Angel:
Ah, This is nuts! He was crazy! This is--

Jim:
Silence, Angel.

We cut to Lo getting to the stand.

Lo:
Miles was an employee at my dealership, We were best friends, He was a mechanic, When he came to me, saying that money was tight for him, I helped him out. Next thing I know, He doesn’t show up to work, Then, I hear he’s dead. Now, I need a new mechanic, and I’m here listening to you guys because no one else cares!

Jim:
What are your--

Lo:
Miles was a great guy! Funny, Nice, Everything you’d want out of a friend. Now, This guy mistakenly runs him over, and I’m supposed to defend him? What?! Is this a joke?!

Jim:
Status on--

Lo:
Give him life in prison! Give me Bill and Sam--!

Sam:
What?

Bill:
No!

Lo:
And I’ll be out of the way. We had a deal, Field--!

Sam:
What?

Field:
It was about Bill--.

Bill:
What in god’s name is he talking about?

Jim:
Order, ORDER!

Lo:
I said we had a deal!

Jay:
Everyone shut up--!

Sam:
What is this about, Field?!

We cut to Sam, Bill and Lo getting in a cab.

Jim (in the window): Sorry about this guys, Contracts, Money, We have to do this.

They drive off.

Lo:
So, My new employees, What are y’all planning to do?

Sam:
I’m planning on telling you to shut up.

Lo:
A shy one.

Bill:
Shut up, Lo.

Lo:
Fine, Fine.

They drive into a new building. They get out of the cab. It is snowing a lot.

Sam:
What is this place?

Bill:
This isn’t a car dealership.

Lo:
Just get inside, It is cold, and the snow is about to pile up--

Bill:
Then, We need to get home.

Lo (Pushing them along): Just go.

They walk in. It is lit by blue lights, and computers are everywhere.

Lo:
I’m starting a coding business!

Bill:
What?

Lo:
Coding!

Sam:
I slightly know how to code.

Lo:
We got a tech wiz (Points at Sam) and a Salesman (points at Bill), and a great Boss (points at himself), I think we got a match made in heaven!

Bill (laughing):
What are you talking about?!

Sam (slightly chuckling): It doesn’t mean that I know tech that I know coding.

Lo:
We’ll figure it out!

Sam:
What are we coding?

Lo:
Advertisements!

Bill (pulling a chain that turns a light off): You’ve got to be kidding me.

Sam (sitting down): The computers are older than me.

Lo:
The parts in them are great, Great graphics card, over 10 gb of Ram, a processor that is more powerful than any console on the Market--

Sam:
Consoles don’t have good processors.

Lo:
Anyway, We’ve got a lot to do.

Bill (walking to leave): I’m going home.

Bill opens the door, and a cab is outside.

Roth (cab driver): I’ve got a cat for ya.

Roth lets Tilly out of the cab. Tilly runs to him.

Bill:
I’m--

The snow is piling up in front of the door. Tilly barely makes it, and Bill grabs her.

Bill (waving to stop Roth): Wait!

Roth drives off.

Lo (walking up to him, putting his hand on his shoulder): Make yourself at home, I kind of live here by the way.

Bill looks at him angrily.

Lo (backing away): I’ll go talk to Sam.

We cut to Sam working on a PC. Bill and Lo walk up to her.

Sam:
This thing can barely run our coding software. Lo, You got ripped.

Lo:
I really want a food truck.

Bill:
I could give you a coupon, but you--

Lo:
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Fired. I fired you, But, You’re back.

Bill:
Unwillingly.

Lo (dragging a fridge): I got us some food.

Sam:
You really do live here, don’t you?

Lo:
The economy’s tight, Plus, This is the family business, My father’s great great grandfather built this. Originally, We used a typewriter to write small notes to give around the city, My father however, got us computers, And, I upgraded them, Plus, Because of the fact that the building was built from a family member, I didn’t even have to pay a dime for this! I had to pay nine cents to the city for it.

Sam:
What now?

Lo:
Anyway, When y’all starting?

Sam:
Not anytime soon.

Bill:
Same here.

Lo:
What? Why?

Sam:
Lo, Your computers suck, I don’t know what to tell you other than these computers are running Windows ME, and a modded coding software that can only run on Linux. This mod doesn’t even run good because Linux uses a special chip that is rare and hard to find nowadays, unless you go to Microsoft PC Development in Boise, Idaho, since Linux bit the dust when Microsoft bought the company who made it, and since the company owned the rights to Linux, They merged it with Windows 8.9, and since Windows 8.5 isn’t going to be out for another 4 years, You’re not going to be able to get this to run good at all. I know, It is the easiest coding software to use, but you’d be better off just getting Social 4U.

Lo:
God help me, I just want this to (punches wall) TO WORK!

Bill (whispering to Sam): Is the back door snowed in too?

Sam:
Unfortunately, Yes.

Tilly walks in.

Tilly:
Meow.

Lo:
Awwwww.

Bill (grabbing Tilly): No, You’re not touching her.

Lo:
What? Why? I just want to pet her--

Sam (breaking a wire): CRAP!

It shocks her.

Sam:
Gosh dangit! (Looking at her stung hand) That was my good hand!

Lo:
Looks like you’re becoming right-handed.

Sam (grabbing the wrench she cut the wire with): I guess so.

She goes to the bathroom to wash her hands.

Bill (petting Tilly): You hungry, girl?

Lo:
I got some tuna--

Bill:
What?

Lo:
I got some tuna we can feed her with. I got some cooked veggie patties we can eat too once Sam comes back.

Bill:
You’re going to feed us after the crap I just did?

Lo:
Yeah? Your my friends--

Bill:
I guess so.

Lo (asking his phone): Yo, How to make french toast.

Ai on his phone:
How to date a french roast, Okay. I found 12 Buffalo Wild Burgers near you--

Lo:
This phone sucks.

Bill (chuckling): Sounds like it.

Lo (banging the phone): Work stupid thing!

Ai on phone:
Stupid Thing by The WadeJos, playing.

The rock song begins playing from every speaker in the building.

Bill:
JESUS CHRIST! DID YOU CONNECT YOUR PHONE TO THE SPEAKERS?!

Lo:
I GUESS I DID.

Sam (walking out of the bathroom): WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Lo:
TURN OFF SONG!

Ai on phone:
Turn up music, okay.

The music is blaring.

Sam:
TURN IT OFF!

Bill:
THROW THE PHONE OFF!

Tilly:
Meow?

Bill:
I CAN’T HEAR YOU, TILLY?!

Lo throws the phone on the floor, it breaks. The song increases in volume.

Sam:
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

The phone randomly starts sliding on the floor. Bill then starts sliding.

Bill:
WHAT THE--?!

Lo:
THE FLOORS DO THIS EVERY NOW AND THEN!

The song finally shuts up. The floors stop flooding. Bill gets up.

Bill:
We’re coding in a building with a lot of computers, and it floods a lot.

Lo:
Yeah?

Sam (slapping Lo): You’re a freaking idiot.

Lo:
You’re not the first woman to tell me that and you won’t be the last.

Sam:
Oh I bet I won’t.

Lo:
You’d win that bet.

We cut to them looking at their 2 blow-up mattresses and one actual bed.

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