The Somewhat Normal Life Of Li Gin (0.5 Draft) Page #15

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Dean:
What is this?

He grabs the pitchfork, and begins waving it around like a lightsaber.

Dean:
Why is it so light?

It goes to dust in his hands as a tornado suddenly sucks up the farmhouse.

Dean:
No, No, No--

The tornado slams into the shot, and we cut to an overhead shot of Dean, who is being sucked into the tornado. He is screaming for his life as we cut inside the tornado. It looks like pure beauty before he falls straight down into a Walmart. He falls on the bedding section on a bed.

Dave (walking up to him): You okay there, Dean?

Dean:
My back! My back!

Dave:
Ah it is just a dream man! Just wake the f*** up!

Dean:
Wake up?

Dave:
Yeah, Man!

Dean (getting up and walking off out of the shot): Do y’all have Madden NFl 27 Legacy Pro Royale Edition?

We cut to Dean walking down the video game section, looking at the PC games.

Dean:
God this is a trash PC game selection.

He grabs a random Sims game before Li suddenly appears in front of him.

Li:
Where am I?! Where the f***--?!

Dean:
You are a character from the script my character is writing in a script I’m writing.

Li:
What?

Dean:
Let me explain this to you like a movie synopsis, A struggling writer decides to write a script about himself writing a script that is a sequel to his previous film.

Dean looks straight at the camera as Li looks confused. Li says something that causes Dean to look back at Li.

Li:
Why don’t you just write a sequel instead of meta-sounding trash?

Dean:
Well, You’d get more lines, Do you really want to work some more?

Li:
Oh, No, I don't. How am I standing up anyway? I’m supposed to be paraylzed.

Dean:
This is a dream so you can do whatever you want!

Dean snaps and a horse falls flat onto the TV section in the background, breaking all the TVs in the shot.

Li (looking at TVs): Ah.

Dean:
Yeah.

Li:
Well, Uhhhh, Can you wake up and keep writing my lines?

Dean:
Power’s out, I’m burning up too.

Li:
It is 30 degrees here!

Dean:
It was at 80 degrees in my house before the power outage.

Li:
Oh. Wait, If the power’s out, then why am I here? And if this is a dream, can’t you just make yourself cold?

Dean:
That’s not how writing or dreaming works.

Li:
It isn’t?

Dean:
No.

Li:
I have never ever had a dream, I just realized that.

Dean:
You just realized that?

Li:
I’m an underdeveloped secondary protagonist in a horrible but better than the previous one script! No, How would I realize that?!

Dean:
I dunno.

Li:
You dunno?

Dean:
Yes, I dunno.

Li:
Oh, I dunno either.

Dean:
Me either.

Li (walking out of shot): I’m getting out of this dream.

Dean:
Please god take me with you!

We cut to Dean sleeping in his bed when the power suddenly comes back on, waking Dean up in the process.

Dean:
UGH I LIKED MY SLEEP.

We cut to a shot of him writing and drinking coffee as we then cut back to Li, who is being moved in his wheelchair by Bill. They’re in a Bed Bath & Beyond looking at towels.

Li:
Why is Life the way it is?

Bill:
I dunno.

Li:
You don’t?

Bill:
Should I?

Li:
It would be nice if you did. It seems as if nothing can get better nowadays. I dunno.

Bill:
Well, You dunno either?

Li:
Why are we here again?

Bill:
Sara needed towels.

Li:
So why ain’t she buying em?

Bill:
Because the doctor’s office was across from here and she just texted me that we needed them.

Li:
Great.

Bill:
The Greatest!

Bill grabs a towel set.

Bill:
A semi-sequel to TSNLOBB?

Li:
That was an old towel brand from the 70s.

Bill:
Ah f*** yeah!

Bill throws them in Li’s basket he’s holding.

Li:
How am I holding this again?

Bill:
Oh yeah, How are you doing that?

Li:
I dunno.

Bill:
Dang it. You got me there.

Li:
I dunno, Do I?

Bill:
Okay stop it.

Li:
I dunno how.

Bill throws Li onto the ground.

Li:
OW! YOU--

Bill:
I’m sorry, I dunno how to pick you up.

Li:
AH I HATE YOU!

We cut to Sam, Chase, and Lo in an elevator. They get on the floor they want to be on, and the knock on Sara’s door. Sara answers it.

Sara:
Hello.

Sam:
Is this, Billie Boi Ross Tucker The 3rd’s house?

Sara (nodding):
Yeah.

Lo:
Except it is an apartment--

Chase:
And you’re his girlfriend aren’t ya?

Sara:
Wife. What is it to you again?

Sam:
Hi, You don’t know me, but we’re related.

Sara:
I may know you, I dunno.

Lo:
Where is Billie?

Sara:
You mean Bill? And he’s at Bed Bath & Beyond, Why?

Lo (as they run off): It is across the street, go!

Sara (as they leave): It is the one on Banana Street! God!

Sara notices a ticket on the ground, saying Sam Tucker.

Sara (grabbing it): Oh, That’s who S. Tuck, the woman on the phone was.

Sara gives an evil look at the camera as we cut back to Li, who is being moved in his wheelchair by Bill. They’re now at the bedding section.

Li:
Sara also needed sheets?

Bill:
Yeah, I don’t think this is the right section though.

Li:
I dunno either, I’ve never been to a Beyond & Bath Bed.

Bill:
It’s Bed Bath & Beyond.

Li:
I’ve never been beyond.

Bill:
Beyond what?

Li:
Bed Bath.

Bill:
Ugh, It is just the name of the store.

Li:
Oh, It is?

Bill:
Are you mentally dumb or something?

Li:
I guess so.

Bill:
That isn’t surprising.

Li:
What is that supposed to mean?

Bill:
When you got bitten by that many spiders, your brain goes slightly slower.

A woman saying the word false is heard.

Li:
Who was that?

Bill (looking up at the sky): God?

Li:
God’s a man.

Bill (screaming in Li’s face): YOU DON’T KNOW!

Li:
I guess you’re right.

Bill:
What?

Li:
I dunno.

We cut to Bill dragging Li, who is still holding the basket, in the back seat as he then gets in the front seat.

Li:
Ow! The basket got hurt!

Bill:
Wait, Did we pay for that?

As they drive off, a cashier screaming “YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THOSE!” can be heard.

Li:
I dunno.

Bill:
I dunno either.

Li:
I don’t really care personally.

Bill:
Yeah, Well it ain’t yo money.

Li:
I wouldn’t care if it was.

Bill:
What?

Li:
Plus, You didn’t pay for it anyway, so why would you care about your money at that moment in time?

Bill:
OH! So I didn’t pay for it!

Li:
Oh, I guess you didn’t. I guess that’s why (pulls out a electronic item with one of those spider beeping stuff for if you didn’t pay) this thing keeps making that-- NOISE!

Bill:
Woah, You can use your hands now?

Li:
Oh, I guess I can!

Bill:
Recovery!

Li:
Greatest Recovery ever!

Bill:
Fastest too.

Li:
But, It ain’t over yet, so--

Bill suddenly crashes into a semi truck and we cut to black. Bill is in a hospital bed, and Li is in one beside him.

Bill:
AH, MY BACK!

Li:
Speak for yourself, My hands reset the Greatest Recovery!

Bill:
Ah, You’re kidding me.

Li:
NO, I’m not!

Bill:
You’re joking, Ah great.

Sara (in the seat beside him): You’re awake! Oh my god!

Bill:
Sara! Honey--

He notices Lo, Chase, and Sam sitting on the window.

Lo:
Hello, Fool.

Sara:
Here’s your friends, I guess.

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