The Somewhat Normal Life Of Li Gin (0.5 Draft) Page #17

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We cut to them walking in a bed bath & beyond, on the towel section.

Elton:
We’re gonna confront Bill!

Lo:
Wasn’t you the guy who arrested him?

Elton:
f*** yeah I was!

Lo:
You was a cop then priest?

Elton:
f*** yeah I was?

Lo:
Why did you say it in a questioning tone!

Elton:
Why’d you ask a question sounding way too happy.

Lo:
You sound neutral.

Elton:
Never heard that word.

Lo:
You’ve never heard of the work neutral?

Elton:
No, I haven’t. Is it a drink? Diet neutral?

Lo:
No, But if I ever invent a drink I’ll call it that.

Elton:
f*** yeah!

Lo:
f*** yeah!

Elton:
Yeah!

Lo:
Yeah!

They begin screaming yeah as we cut to Chase asleep in his apartment before he wakes up, and grabs a piece of pizza off the floor. The floor is full of cat poo and random chicken wing bones. He begins petting his cat.

Chase:
Just another day in paradise, huh Hannah?

Hannah meows, because, she’s a cat what did you expect? A bark?

Chase:
Yeah, I know.

Chase gets up out of his bed and drops the pizza slice on his big toe.

Chase:
Well that’s infected.

He stretches as we cut to him brushing his teeth, we notice a picture of Him and Sam kissing before we then cut to him feeding Hannah. We then hear a knock.

Chase:
COME IN.

Knocking gets louder.

Chase:
I SAID COME IN.

As he knocks on it, He is hit in the head with a golf club (the second this happens it cuts to black). We then cut to Li, biting into a cookie as he watches Halloween (2018).

Li:
Come on, Ally! Come on!

Sara (walking in): Some movie huh?

Li:
Not as good as H20.

Sara (sits in the seat Bill was sitting in): Where’d Bill go?

Li:
He pulled a golf club out from under this bed and said He had some universe type stuff to take care of.

Sara:
What?

We cut to the trailer. Dean is sitting as we hear random noises. A bag of chips fall down to the room. Dean jumps and he then gets up before gunshots are heard.

Dean:
What the f***?

Dean grabs a Bat and goes outside in the dark.

Dean:
Where are you?!

Bill shows up behind him and hits him in the head with a golf club. He goes unconscious, and Bill drags him away.

Bill:
You know what they say about sequels, They’re always the same as the other one.

We have a montage of every main character in the film except Li be kidnapped by Bill as we cut back to that place in TAODW where the final act took place, The back room.

Sara (as she wakes up): What is going on--

A montage of him chaining them up to the pipes happens before we cut back to Logan (will be credited as Dean in script) who is chained to the wall. He wakes up.

Dean:
What the--

Bill (slow claps): Hello, Logan.

Dean:
What?

Bill:
Your writings have come full circle, haven’t they?

Chase wakes up, now his actor.

Chase:
Logan? What’s going on man? This is a different set--

Bill:
SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU FILTHY ACTOR!

Chase:
What is going on?

Dean:
This isn’t in the script!

Bill:
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING that is in the script is going to happen now.

Dean:
You can’t do this!

Logan looks around the room.

Dean:
This isn’t the set.

Chase:
Logan--

Sara and Sam’s actresses wake up.

Sam:
What in god’s--

Sara:
Oh, I remember this scene.

Bill unchains Sara’s actress and they share a kiss.

Dean:
(insert actress who plays Sara here)! What the--

Sara:
Hello, Dean, or Lo, or Logan.

Dean:
What the--

Bill:
You see, We added rewrites to the script we thought were amazing!

Dean:
Oh god.

Sara:
It could’ve been a meta-masterpiece!

Bill:
But you had to mess it up and deny them!

Dean:
I’m sorry!

Chase:
I added rewrites too!

Chase breaks the chain.

Bill:
There ya go, Chase!

Elton’s actor wakes up.

Elton:
God, I have a headache--

A book suddenly drops on his head, causing his demise.

Dean:
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Lin’s actor wakes up.

Lin:
Jesus Christ. What happened--?

Another book drops on her head, causing her demise.

Dean:
Stop it--! Calm down, Logan, It is just a scene! It is just a scene.

Dina and Vic’s actresses wake up.

Dina:
Where am I?! Logan?! I didn’t want to be in--

Vic:
Ah jesus christ.

Dave’s actor wakes up also.

Dave:
Ah great, This again?

Hammers drop on the three actors’ heads, causing their demises.

Dean:
Ah great.

Chase:
It didn’t have to be this way.

Sara:
Yes it did.

She throws a book at Chase, causing his demise also.

Bill:
What the--?! He was on our side!

Sara:
He’ll tell, Actors are their characters, and his character was a tattletale.

Bill:
Why did I listen to you? You’re gonna get us gone!

Sara:
No I won’t!

While Bill and Sara argue, Logan begins sawing the chains with his glasses. The chains break instantly due to them being weak mats.

Dean (quietly):
There we go.

Sara:
YOU CALLED ME A--!

Bill:
Liar! You liar! How could you--

Bill grabs a brick and hits Sara in the head with it several times, causing her demise.

Bill:
I’m sorry, Sara.

Logan jumps on Bill and Bill begins hitting his hands with the brick, Logan headbutts Bill and Bill headbutts him back, causing Logan to fall onto the ground.

Dean:
Agh.

Bill (grabbing Dean by the neck): How dare you defy me, less superior one!

Dean begins shaking as the door randomly opens.

Bill:
What the--?

Brenda suddenly jumps onto Bill and Bill begins shaking (shaking does nothing).

Brenda:
Who’s the less superior one now?!

Bill:
YOU!

Bill breaks Brenda’s back, causing her demise. He throws her in front of Logan.

Bill:
Game over.

Dean:
You can’t do this to me!

Bill:
And you can’t ruin my career like you are now.

Dean:
NO! NO! NO! YOU--!

Bill shuts the door, and is then injected with poison by an unknown figure, the figure unmasks to be Xavier’s actor.

Xavier:
Hello, Bill.

Bill:
You little--

Xavier slaps him as we cut to Bill waking up, chained to Logan’s (Logan is chained up by his neck) arm. Bill begins shaking his arm.

Bill:
Real metal, f***.

Dean:
This isn’t no prop.

Bill (looking up at Logan): Logan! God, You gotta--

Dean:
I ain’t gotta do anything!

Bill:
You gotta get us out of here--!

Dean:
No I don’t.

Bill:
Come on!

Dean:
How about you come on? You’re f***ing nuts! I’m not going to f***ing help you!

Bill:
Oh you got to!

Dean:
No! I f***ing won’t!

Xavier (stabs Bill in the chest with a key): You want your freedom?

Xavier keeps stabbing Bill before stabbing in the stomach and sticking in deep in his stomach.

Xavier:
How’s this for a rewrite?

Dean:
What the f***?

Xavier pulls out another key.

Dean:
What are you--

Xavier stabs Dean in the chest with a key and Dean begins throwing up blood.

Dean:
F*** you.

Xavier:
What, Logan?

Dean:
I said f*** you. What the f*** is wrong with all of you?!

Bill stabs Dean in the neck with the key he has.

Bill:
How’s this for a meta-line? Hey, Audience, IS THIS BLOODY ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Dean:
You f***ing retard.

Bill:
What?

Dean pulls the key out of his chest, It is revealed to be fake.

Dean:
You f***ing retard! You gotta ruin every scene don’t you?! F***.

Bill falls unconscious, and We fade to a shot of several TVs. This shot is on one TV, one shot is a shot of The Adventures Of Dean White, one is a shot of The Somewhat Normal Life Of Billie Boi, and the other is the Li subplot. A man is watching the TVs.

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