The Somewhat Normal Life Of Li Gin (0.5 Draft) Page #4

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Lo:
UGH.

Chase:
What?

Sam:
Nothing!

Dave (walking up to them): Oh, Hey guys.

Chase, Sam, and Lo look over at Dave.

Dave:
What?

Sam:
Is this coincidence?

Chase:
What do you mean?

Lo:
I got an idea.

Dave (walking up to them): What?

Lo:
We’ll all confront Bill together.

Dave:
Billie Boi? I haven’t heard that name in years. I think I got a message from him, He bought me a plane ticket or something.

Sam:
That mother--

Chase:
Why didn’t he buy me and Sam ones?!

Sam:
Don’t tell them--

Chase:
Is it because we’re dating?!

Chase and Lo switch spots and Dave and Lo gasp.

Dave (Pointing at them): You-- You-- Guys, No. You guys aren’t actually dating! (he begins laughing) There’s no way! It is absolutely impossible!

Chase:
Well, That’s kind of mean, Dave.

Lo:
Sam! He’s too good for you!

Sam (mouth wide open): What?!

We cut to a view of Miami, Bill, Sara, and Li are in a car driving to Miami, As they pull into the apartment complex, We cut to Dean typing when he spills coffee on the keyboard and it stops working.

Dean:
GOD--

Dina (walking in): What happened?

Dean:
I gotta buy a new keyboard.

Dina:
I thought you did when you got that paycheck--

Dean:
This is that new keyboard.

Dina:
Oh.

We cut to Dean walking in that walmart from TAODW, He is looking in the electronics section. Dave walks up to him, now in a walmart vest.

Dave:
Hey!

Dean:
You work here again?

Dave:
Walmart bought Gamestop, So--

Dean:
They did?

Dave:
Seems that way, considering I was transferred here after I came back from shooting that Billie Boi thing, Good thing Bill had a twin, with the exact same name, face, hair--

Dean:
Yeah, Good thing, Hey, I’m working on a little something--

Dave:
Oh my god, put me in it! Put me in it! Walmart is getting boring and I’d love some fame, and more money.

Dean (chuckling): Oh with how much of a success that baby was, We’ll be swimming in dough when this is up!

Dave:
Oh yeah, Maybe call my cousin up, Devin? He’s been down on his luck, and he’d love a film role now-a-days, Not for the money, but just something to do, His GF left him, He’s broke, so anything fun that pays somewhat would work for him.

Dean (grabbing a keyboard and mouse set): I’ll put a word in for him.

Dave (as he walks off away from Dean): Alright man, Thanks a lot.

Dean (whispering to himself): Wait a second, I think I know that guy.

We cut to Dean walking in a dealership, Devin is sitting at his desk, crying as Dean rings the bell for service.

Dean:
Yo, Is this Devin?

Devin (sobbing gets slightly slower): Go away.

Dean:
This is Dean White? Director/Writer/Star of TSNLOBB?

Devin:
That movie freaking sucked.

Dean (sympathetic): Yeah, I know.

Devin:
Go away. We’re shutting down.

Dean:
Yeah, I read the sign, Today? That business model must’ve not cut out for you.

Devin (looking up out his his arms at Dean and getting up and walking towards Dean): Wait a second, I know you!

Dean (gulps and nods): Yeah, I’m--

Devin (putting his hands on Dean’s shoulders): You’re the guy that encouraged me to do this!

Dean (as he pushes Devin’s hands off of him): Encourage?

Devin:
You’re a freaking idiot! Why didn’t you tell me how much of a f***ing shitty idea that was?!

Dean:
I did though.

Devin (laughing like an evil villain): What the f***ing sh*t do you want from me?! A car?! You can buy hundreds of them!

Dean (as Devin goes on his rant): That’s not how money and inflation works you know--

Devin (walking back to his chair to wallow in his misery): Go away, Dean freaking White. You don’t deserve to be in MY PRESENCE!

Dean:
Hey! I understand what you’re going through--

Devin:
No you don’t, It took me years to make this work! AND THEN I MESSED IT UP! I’M RUINED! ALL MY MAGICAL WORK! (randomly/abruptly jumps up in Dean’s face) AND YOU DID NOTHING TO STOP IT YOU JERK!

Dean:
Dave told me what was going on! He’s a cashier, and he ain’t doin’ much better than you.

Devin (sitting down sobbing, wallowing in his randomly happy sounding misery): Yes he is, He actually has sustainable income, He has a wife that actually loves him, doesn’t cheat on him with his boss--

Dean:
I thought you owned the place!

Devin:
I sold it earlier this month, and it seems to be a downward slump coming my way after I sold this junky place! (he randomly gets up) I don’t get what kind of an idiot would buy this place, JUST TO SHUT IT DOWN!

Dean:
I-I-I-I Don’t know how to reply to that, I’m so sorry, Devin.

Devin:
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, Dean?! WHY DID YOU FREAKING COME HERE JUST TO MAKE ME WALLOW IN MY MISERY EVEN MORE?!

Devin punches the wall and curses at Dean.

Dean (walking off): I’ll come back later.

Devin curses at Dean as we cut back to Dean sitting down, asleep at his keyboard (it is the old one we saw get broken). Dina walks in (the document is empty and still called Untitled).

Dina:
Dean?

Dean (waking up): What?

Dina:
You okay, honey?

Dean (coughing):
God--! Jesus Christ, I had the weirdest dream.

Dina (she goes to comfort him): Oh, That happens sometimes.

Dean:
Yeah.

We cut to Li being wheeled in an apartment by Sara and Bill. Lin walks in.

Lin:
Li!

Li:
Hey, Lin.

Lin (looking up at Sara and Bill): What happened to him?

Sara:
He’s paralyized from the neck down.

Lin (Looking down at Li and rubbing his head): Oh, You poor baby, I’ll help you.

Li:
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Until Sagely comes.

Bill:
Who?

Lin:
My, friend--

Li:
Her girlfriend!

Bill:
Oh, Lesbian?

Sara:
Bill!

Bill:
What? Is it illegal to ask questions in this galaxy?

Lin:
Wouldn’t you mean Universe?

Bill (walking out of the apartment): I’m done, Sara--

Sara:
Get back here!

Bill (as soon as she says that, he runs back in): I’m not done!

Lin:
What’s up with him?

Li:
He’s always like that.

Sara:
He’s already figured it out! It took our other friends a while to figure out, Bill’s just flat out an a--

Bill (drinking a bottle of club soda): I Heard that!

Lin:
You’re back!

Sara (elbowing Bill): And he’ll never leave.

Bill:
Let’s leave.

Sara (as Bill leaves she grabs Bill’s shoulder, and Bill stops with a look of pain and agony [his face also becomes red] on his face, His arm that is being grabbed goes blood red too): How about no?

Bill (squeaky voice): How about you let go?

Sara (grab becomes stronger): We will talk to Li and Lin. DO I MAKE myself clear, Honey?

Bill (even squeakier voice): Yes honey.

Li (whispering to Lin): They’re always like this.

Lin (whispering back): What a loving couple.

Li:
Ha, Yeah.

Bill:
What’d you say?

Li:
Nothing.

Sara:
Look at me!

Bill (looking at Li and Lin): Is she still yelling at me?

Sara:
COME ON! LOOK AT--

Bill:
Is she?

Lin:
No.

Li:
Yeah, She isn’t looking at you (as she gets louder) We swear!

Bill (leaving):
I’m leaving.

Sara (running towards him): GET BACK HERE YOU LONELY PIECE OF MISERY!

Sara slams the door.

Lin:
Huh, They seem nice.

Li (laughing):
If the meaning of nice is nutjob.

Lin:
You got that right. They are the ones that saved you?

Li:
Yeah.

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