The Somewhat Normal Life Of Li Gin (0.5 Draft) Page #5

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Lin:
You seem to have some weird people in your life now.

Li:
Oh well. What are ya gonna do?

Lin (walking off): Not be their friends and ignore them.

Li:
Hey! I have to go to the bathroom!

Lin:
Good luck with that.

We cut to Chase, Dave and the rest of them walking in the airport.

Dave:
Lo, They ain’t gonna let you keep those products on the plane.

Lo:
They better.

Sam:
Lo, Throw them away, They’re not allowed in Florida anymore--

Chase:
They’re not?

Sam:
No.

Carrier (ticket cashier): Tickets?

Lo:
Me and Dave got tickets, They’re buying their own.

Carrier:
Ah, And who is Dave?

Dave (running up to them, cheeks red, has a piece of pizza in his mouth): People throw away perfectly good food! Wait, Why is it green?

Carrier (pulls out police bat): That’s a sign that the food was infested with the corono-virus! Get away!

Dave:
What?!

Lo:
Can we use his ticket still?

Carrier (to Lo):
Why certainly-- (to Dave) Go! You’re going to infect them!

Dave:
Ah you’ve got to be kidding me.

Carrier:
Get away! I said get--

Dave (falling to the ground): I don’t feel so good.

Sam:
Now that’s a fall.

Dave burps as Another woman comes up to the ticket register, Sam buys a ticket as we cut to Lo (window seat) and Chase (middle seat) sitting in first class seats.

Lo:
Too bad Sam didn’t have enough for a first class seat.

Chase (getting a vape pen out): Thank god for the corono-virus.

Sam walks up to them.

Sam:
Well, I randomly had enough frequent flyer miles to upgrade to first class even though I’ve never used this airport, So--

Sam sits next to Chase.

Chase:
Dang, Honey, that’s great.

Lo:
She probably accidently left it on my account, I fly a lot with this airport.

Sam:
Oh, Well you’re out 7,000 points.

Lo (gulps):
Jesus Christ I was gonna use that to upgrade to an extra-small drink.

Chase:
Are the drinks’ regularly xx-small?

Lo:
Yeah, But the tickets are really cheap, SO it’s fine.

Sam:
Is it?

Lo:
You don’t talk to me, You just used 90% of my points! I can’t even get a tootsie roll for 1,000 points! I need 1,001 points!

Sam:
Well looks like you’re 1 point short.

Lo (he begins banging his head on the TV): I hate my life.

Sam:
Do you?

Lo:
Yes I do!

Sam:
No you don’t.

Lo:
Yes I do!

Sam:
No you do not.

Chase:
Yes he does.

We cut to Dean writing, but he stops, and begins having a migraine. He jumps up and yells for Dina, but she says that Vic’s awake so she’s cooking her some fish, and Dean says UGH.

Dean:
You’ve got to be kidding me.

We cut to Dean walking in the bathroom, He takes some medicine, and looks at himself in the mirror.

Dean:
You’ve got this. You’re Dean White man! You’ve got this! You’ve got this!

He drops the bottle of tylenol he’s got out. The medicine spills on the ground.

Dean:
GOD--

We cut to Li relaxing in a room with a TV, Amazon fire (connected to Alexa so he only has to use voice) and PS3. He's watching Spongebob.

Li:
Why did he not want to get fired again?

Lin walks in and places a plate of crab salad and several bags of chips and kool-aid boxes on the tray.

Lin:
Here’s lunch, and dinner.

Li (shoving the several fiesta size open bags of takis near his mouth): How many bags did you bring?

Lin:
Enough for a twelve-year-old to eat on and survive eating for several years, There are some more in the closet.

Li:
And how am I supposed to get to those?

Lin:
I’ll check on you every eight hours.

Li:
Really?

Lin:
I only sleep seven.

As she walks off, she says minutes and shuts the door.

Li:
Wait, LIN! How am I supposed to eat this crab salad?!

Lin:
It’s not for you.

A dog suddenly jumps on Li.

Brenda:
Lunch?

Li:
What the--

Brenda:
You never met a talking dog?

Li:
God this sounds like something out of that movie with the talking cat. Vic I think is her name?

Brenda:
Oh, Well, I’m a dog, so--

Brenda jumps on the tray and begins eating crab salad. Several other open bags of chips fall onto the ground.

Brenda:
Oopsie.

Li:
What’s your name anyway?

Brenda:
Bren, or really Brenda. Your sister thought I was a male dog, but god no.

Li:
She’s not my sister.

Brenda:
Oh, Y’all look like twins.

Li:
No we don’t.

Li shoves his face in a bag of takis and screams.

Li:
MY EYE!

Brenda:
You idiot. What did you do now?

Li:
My eye got hit by a chip!

Brenda:
Use your hands dumbo.

Li:
I can’t! I’m paralyzed!

Brenda:
You are? Then how are you watching TV?

Li:
Alexa.

Alexa says Yes? and Li says cancel.

Brenda:
Ah, She bought you an alexa? She bought me a cable box--

Li:
Yes, I know, I know, This is your room, but I need it more.

Brenda:
Oh, I’m not talking about that, I needed some company anyway, I’m talking about the cable box still!

Li:
Do you not shut up?

Brenda:
What does shut up mean?

Li:
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that.

Brenda:
You’re gonna be here awhile ain’t ya?

Li:
I guess so.

Li begins chomping on chips.

Brenda (sarcasm): Could you eat a little louder please?

Li (getting louder): Sure.

Brenda:
Ugh.

Li:
UGH.

Brenda:
UGH!

Li:
UGH!

Brenda:
What are we doing?

Li:
I don’t know, I’m bored though. I’m getting tired of Tom Kenny’s laugh-- I mean Spongebob’s laugh.

Brenda:
Who’s Tom Kenny?

We cut to Chase, Sam, and Lo getting off the plane.

Lo (checking his phone): I got a message from Dave.

Chase:
What does it say?

Lo:
It turned out it was just a prank and that he just had to get bailed out of prison. He is trying to get a ticket but money isn’t very good in his case.

Sam:
Great. Shouldn’t we buy him one?

Lo:
You think I got money?

Chase:
I had to leech off Dave’s ticket, I can’t just go and--

We cut to them getting in a taxi.

Sam:
Where does Bill even live?

Lo:
Oh, He didn’t tell me that.

Sam:
He didn’t?

Lo:
No.

Sam:
Ugh.

As the taxi drives off, We cut to Dean writing before he stops, and takes a big swig of Pepto Bismol, and gets up.

Dean (stretching): Jesus Christ.

We cut to him walking down a street. Random people throw cans at him, saying YOUR MOVIE SUCKED! And DO A BETTER JOB ACTING!

Dean (screaming at a little kid who points at him and says bad): YOU COULDN’T DO ANY BETTER!

The little kid backs away (the kid starts crying to his mom).

Mom:
How dare you!

Dean:
How dare I? How dare you?!

A car randomly crashes onto the road.

Dean:
God?

The mom and child runs away as Dean walks off. The world randomly becomes a firey mess with cars crashed and destroyed buildings everywhere.

Dean:
It is like I’m writing my own life!

We cut to him writing, Dina walks in.

Dina:
Your dog is wanting you.

Dean:
Not now.

Dina:
Well I don’t know what to tell you.

Dean:
I’m writing the scene where I buy a car and crash it and then say Hey, I think I’ll write that Li Gin script!

Dina:
What is Li Gin?

Dean:
The greatest script written by the greatest writer writing the greatest script of himself.

Dina:
You’re crazy, Dean, You can’t just write a script about you writing a sequel to your other script.

Dean:
I can do whatever I want, Dina.

We cut to Bill in a doctor’s office, He scratches his head. Angie walks up to him.

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