The Squeeze Page #2

about a summons?

Back alimony.

(LAUGHS) No, there's a mistake here.

I don't pay any alimony.

My ex-wife Hilda

doesn't need money.

She's loaded. She's got

a lot of rich boyfriends.

Mr. Berg, it's really not

my concern.

I'm a professional,

hired to do a job.

You're going to have to accept

the summons sooner or later,

so why don't you save us both

a lot of trouble?

Look, I'm tired

and I want to go home.

You do look beat.

Really.

Maybe you ought to get

a girl's job, you know,

stewardess, secretary, nurse,

something like that.

If I didn't have to deal with deadbeats like you,

it'd be a hell of a lot more pleasant.

Now would you please just

take the summons, OK Mr. Berg?

Slime!

Listen, you know what?

You deserve to live here

with the rest of the rats.

Slime!

Thanks for stopping by.

(LAUGHS)

I'm going to get you.

Slime!

She's cute.

MAN:
that's what

I'm looking for.

Carmen, if you don't get these steps right,

I'm going to replace you.

Come on. Lift it up, girls.

Sell it. That's what I'm looking for.

Primordial.

Beautiful, ladies.

I'm going to take you home tonight

if you dance that way, OK baby?

Ah, Mira.

Two words. Dos palabras.

It's done. It's finished.

That's all I want to hear,

Harry. Two magic words.

More time.

Stop, I hate your face.

You're making me crazy, Harry.

I don't know what you want me to do.

This thing eats up tubes like TV dinners.

Mm-hmm.

It's giving me such a pain in the ass.

I'll tell you something.

I'll tell you what. You want it done,

you give me half the final payment.

That's all I'm asking for. Give me half of it,

and I can finish this thing.

Harry, everything is in place.

I've got the volcanoes,

I've got the primordial oozes, bubbling beautiful.

I've got the cave girls,

I've got the cannibalism.

- Harry, look at me when I talk to you!

- I can't, I'm working!

Do you know what else I've got

after nine months of work?

- What?

- I'll tell you.

I've got that, the biggest and most

expensive rear end in Manhattan.

First of all, you're the

biggest rear end in Manhattan.

Thank you.

Second of all, you want me to finish your lizard,

you've got to give me more time.

I'm not bullshitting you.

What would I bullshit you for?

I'm not going to lie to you.

Hey, Ruben, do you think I'm lying?

Look in my eyes and

tell me what you see.

Don't hold back, I can take it.

Bull. Sh*t.

By the way, your ex-wife Hilda?

She dropped off a note for you.

Whoa. I'm allergic

to paper from Hilda.

That's okay, baby.

I already read it.

She wants you to meet her

at the street festival.

Tonight.

When?

And don't stay out

too late, Harry.

The next time I see you,

I want to hear those two magic

words. "It's finished."

- You want two magic words? "More gloss."

- Don't be cute with me, Harry.

What are you standing around for, babies?

Come on, you're gaining weight.

Music!

(CARNIVAL SOUNDS)

Harry! Harry!

Harry!

Harry!

Before you even say anything,

before you open your mouth,

I'm totally broke.

I have no money.

Here, you want something?

I'll tell you what.

Take my watch.

Harry.

Are you all right?

I could be better.

Okay.

Okay, what is it?

I got into this big fight with this new

roommate of mine about the rent money.

So I moved out and I left this

important package on the kitchen floor.

And now, of course, you want me to go

pick it up for you, right?

One question.

Why me?

It's got a lot of sentimental value.

You're the only one I can trust.

Uh-huh.

Besides, I wanted

to see you again.

You know, you're unbelievable.

You're unbelievable.

You walk out on me

three years ago

without any warning,

and then you put

a skip-tracer on my ass,

and you know I don't have

a dime to my name.

And now look at you, you're treating me

like I'm some kind of an errand boy.

What are you looking at?

Your shirt.

What about the shirt?

Isn't that the shirt you wore that time

we stayed up at Coney Island all night?

Yeah, it is.

No, it's not.

No, it's not. I had a white t-shirt on.

I just finished a painting, and I had paint...

Oh yeah, yeah, you're right.

Wasn't that a great night?

Remember?

Oh, God, you were so crazy.

Oh, I was crazy?

Remember what we did, uh,

behind the roller coaster stand later, Harry?

Yeah.

You can take the package

to the Seville Hotel, 13-D.

I'm just staying there until

I get back on my feet again.

OK, Harry?

Okay.

Thanks.

You're the best.

(KNOCKS)

Anybody home?

Look at this.

She's dating the Beach Boys.

Good luck, Slick.

(CAT MEOWS)

Hey, kitty.

Remember old Harry?

Didn't think so.

(WHISTLES)

(SNIFFS)

You need a bath, cat.

Are you kidding me?

Aah! Aah!

God damn!

Jeez!

(CAT MEOWS)

(MEOWS)

Eww.

Phew.

(CAT SCREECHES)

Oh!

Sorry. Oh.

God damn, cat!

Whew.

"Ralph Vigo."

You ought to have a talk

with your manicurist, Ralph.

(KNOCKS)

Hilda!

(KNOCKS)

Hilda, it's Harry.

"Gem Vigo,

Boars club, 12..."

Gem Vigo?

Ralph Vigo.

Whoa.

Yeah, right.

Aah!

Aah!

How are you doing?

Ow! Aah!

Ooh!

I hope Titus didn't hurt you.

He was just trying to get your attention.

(FAN BUZZING)

I bet he's good at getting cabs.

(LAUGHS)

Actually, he has trouble with cabbies.

He makes them nervous.

Glandular problems.

You want to take a little

off the sides, there?

Aaugh! It's a joke!

Aah.

You know Hilda?

Faintly.

See, we came to visit,

but she wasn't in.

Actually, we're looking for this box,

about this big, black. Seen it?

Uh, what color

did you say it... Gaah!

No, I haven't seen the box!

Come here.

I want to tell you something

about Titus here.

He's done some really bad

things in his short life.

So have I, but, uh,

what the heck, that's life, right?

Heh. Forget about it.

See, but Titus

doesn't see it like that.

He sees himself

as a kind of antihero.

He believes in what he does.

He's righteous.

Do you know how far the righteous

will go to get what they want?

Hey, fellas, believe me, if I had the box

you guys would be the first guys I'd give it to.

Aah!

Beware the righteous.

Beware the righteous.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

Hey, hold it down

out here, will you?

Get off of me!

Oh, it's my fault.

I'm so clumsy.

Yo, Titus! Move it!

Hey.

Harry!

Harry, did you hear?

What happened to your nose, Harry?

I guess you heard.

You know, Harry, I always liked her, man.

I always liked her.

Listen. That package I gave you,

what'd you do with it?

- I brought it back to the loft for you.

- Oh, God.

- What happened to your nose?

- Let me ask you another question.

Hilda. Do you think there's any way on earth

she could ever be involved in a murder?

I don't know about that, but she sure knows

how to make a killing, right?

- What are you talking about?

- What's the matter with you?

- Why'd you say killing?

- You don't know? It's in the papers, man.

Oh my God!

Oh my God, she's...

- Your ex, she hit the lottery. Look at this.

- What?

"Lucky Lady Hits Number.

Hilda Berg Wins $52,540."

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