The Squeeze Page #3

Harry, now this divorce,

it's not final, right?

Because you can get,

you know, reconciliation,

you know, uh, counseling.

Fifty bucks an hour,

it's nothing.

Mm-hmm.

She won the lottery.

- She's got dead guys hanging in her closet.

- What?

She sends me to some sleaze-bag hotel

I wouldn't even stay in,

gets my ass kicked

by two cement heads,

and she wins the lottery.

This is getting weird.

- Harry, look at the number.

- I don't care what the number is.

5-8-8-3. So simple, 5883.

I mean, who would think, right?

What's the number?

Tell me the number again.

5883!

You know what that number is?

The date of my divorce.

(LAUGHS)

I'm going to...

I don't believe this!

I'm going to kill her!

You know I'm not a romantic, but that's low,

Norman. That is really low.

I'm going to kill her.

She uses our memories to win the lottery.

If I find her,

I'm going to kill her.

NYPD.

I'm going to scold her.

That's what I'll do.

I'll sit her down

and say "Hon?"

Right.

Harry Berg, right?

I'm going to sit her down

and say, "Honey..."

- Come on, Harry. We want to talk to you.

- Yeah, well I can't right now.

I'm talking about my wife.

We had a little argument.

How long you been divorced?

About three years.

We get along.

You still love her, Harry?

- Let me make this easy for you, Harry.

- All right.

- Your ex starts hanging out with a new guy.

- Right.

Now maybe you're

a little bit jealous, huh?

Maybe you're still carrying

a bit of a torch for her, huh?

That's only reasonable.

She's a good-looking woman, Harry.

- She's a really good-looking woman, huh?

- Thanks.

Now, maybe you go to see her,

just to sort of keep in touch,

but she ain't there.

He's there.

And maybe he tells you

to go kiss the asphalt.

Now maybe you get mad.

Maybe you get real mad.

Maybe you lose your cool, Harry.

Maybe you don't like being treated like that.

Huh, Harry? Huh?

You're out of your frigging

mind. Go ask Hilda.

Sit down! We'll ask Hilda

when we find her.

Right now

we're asking you, Harry.

You guys both know that guy was dead

by the time I got there.

Maybe you came back.

Do I look that dumb?

Hi, Arnold.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS AGAIN)

No dice with the summons?

Mr. Berg...

If I get one more door

slammed in my face...

It's just this job.

It's driving me crazy.

Whatever happened to, to theft,

fraud, extortion,

infidelity?

I need a case

with a little mystery,

something that I can

sink my teeth into.

Skip-tracing is an ancient

and an honorable profession,

besides being

our bread and butter.

Either you're into the hunt,

the human hunt, or you're not.

Ever since Cain had to find out

which cave Abel was hiding in,

we've been providing

a valuable service.

So stop your bellyaching.

Chin up, and remember my motto...

"Go forth and

hunt the insolvent."

Greaseballs.

(LOUD CRACKLING)

Oh sh*t!

Ladies, gentlemen, reindeer,

start your engines for a

Crazy Eddie Christmas in August

car stereo blowout blitz!

(LOUD HISSING)

Sh*t!

Well, they kept you long enough.

I was ready to call a lawyer.

You didn't tell them

about this, did you?

No. Any word on Hilda?

No, nothing.

NORM:
What do you think it is?

I don't know.

Kind of looks like a bomb.

Yeah.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

Hello. I am Christian Rigaud.

Rachel Dobs.

Glad you could make it

on such short notice.

No problem.

It was a slow morning.

Are these guys real?

Of course.

Simba, Tuti, and Mary Jane.

Heh. Cute.

Thank you.

Please.

So, you need a trace.

Family or employee?

Well, we had an engineer,

Ralph Vigo, who was working on

a very special prototype component

from a very special computer

when he disappeared

with the component.

And you want me to find him?

He no longer has it.

We believe he gave it

to his paramour to try and sell.

In turn, we believe she turned it over to her

ex-husband, a man named Harry Berg.

Harrison Patrick Berg?

Precisely.

That's why we called you.

We learned through his credit rating

that you were already pursuing a case

involving Mr. Berg.

You see, time factor

is essential here.

Do you have a field agent

working for you?

Stocky, perspiration problem?

Well, this is where it gets to be

unfortunately complicated.

We believe these men

are Bulgarian agents.

Bulgarian agents?

They're probably after

some industrial secrets.

- Oh!

- The component would be quite a coup for them.

You see, normally the FBI

would be brought in here, but

since the original

breach in security was ours,

we'd rather resolve the matter

without their assistance.

This component, is it dangerous?

Not unless tampered with.

Screwdriver.

Screwdriver.

(HUMS)

RACHEL:
Aaah!

Aah!

Oh, Arnold! You won't believe this case!

It's a dream! It's a dream come true!

- Where are the handcuffs?

- Handcuffs? What do you want with handcuffs?

They've got this secret

stolen thing. It's...

- Who has?

- This French guy, Rigaud.

Ooh-la-la, you should see him.

He's got these shrunken heads.

They have the FBI.

I told you not to

mess around with the feds!

A love interest, but best of all,

they've got Bulgarian spies!

- Are you high?

- No. This is it. This is the real thing.

Arnold, this case is my ticket.

I've been in this business

a long time.

I never heard of

no Bulgarian spies!

Oh, I know.

Put that gun down!

It doesn't come with the job.

But there's a first time for everything.

Arnold, wish me luck.

Where are you going?

I've got to go to work!

Hey, yo, Harry,

how's it going, man?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

- Hey, pal, you know Gem Vigo?

- Yeah. That's her.

Thanks.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Whoa, whoa. Hang on, lady.

This is not an open party.

I'm with Harry Berg.

Uh-huh. Are you his girl?

No. He's my boy.

All right, all right, go on in.

HARRY:
So, how do you

know Hilda?

GEM:
Indirectly. Your ex

and my husband were lovers.

You know where she is?

Deep sh*t.

That's where you end up

when you make bad choices.

What choices?

Same you get to make.

Please, let's try English

again, OK, just for me.

The box.

Do you got it?

Maybe.

Give me a beer.

Pink lady.

So, go ahead. Fire.

How much?

How much?

Yeah.

I'll tell you what.

You make me an offer.

$10,000.

Don't insult me, all right?

Because you know and I know it's worth

a hell of a lot more than $10,000.

You don't know

what it is, do you?

You're bluffing.

It's an electromagnet.

You don't know what it's for.

Hilda never told you.

She might as well

have given you a bomb.

Doesn't matter.

You don't got to negotiate

with me, anyway.

You want to talk

to the main man.

I'll go arrange a rendezvous.

Mr. Berg.

What the hell is this?

A summons.

Bourbon straight, please.

Do you know where Hilda is?

No.

I thought she fired you.

Not that I heard.

I tried to call her,

but she wasn't home.

The police were.

They found a dead body.

Yeah, they're good at that.

It seems they don't have a clue.

In fact,

you're their only suspect.

Yeah, I'm real popular

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