The Squeeze Page #5

The truth is, and I'm not supposed to say,

but the FBI is taking over the case.

Uh huh.

The FBI?

Well maybe I should wander over and

have a little chat with the FBI.

That would not be wise,

Miss Dobs.

Well maybe you can tell me a

little bit more about the

Bulgarian agents

with the Brooklyn accents.

My secretary has your check.

I think you'll be very pleasantly surprised.

You can stuff the check. Do you know Gem Vigo?

Well she knows the Bulgarians.

That's pretty weird company

for industrial espionage.

- Your services are no longer required.

- Let go of me!

(GLASS BREAKS)

Oh, I'm sorry. I...

I didn't mean to...

Are you religious, Miss Dobs?

Excuse me?

Do you believe in signs?

What kind of signs?

Do you believe In bad luck?

Bad luck?

The type that causes pain.

No, I don't.

I do.

Au revoir, Miss Dobs.

Right.

You're bluffing.

Am I?

Pair of deuces.

Did my eye twitch?

Ever try dominoes?

Oh, good, you're here.

Jose has got a double feature.

I wouldn't want to miss it.

Adios.

Did you bring

the computer thing?

It's an electromagnet.

Wonderful.

Where is it?

Where is it?

- It was stolen.

- Ha! Tactics. Some kind of tactics.

You know,

I'll tell you something,

last night was a lot less fulfilling

than you, uh, probably imagine.

Probably for her.

Let me ask you a question.

Do you treat all your clients like this?

Sorry.

You're the only one I've got left.

Can I buy you a drink?

RACHEL:
I can see the headlines. Ha!

Some hotshot detective.

I ate everything

that creep fed me.

Ah, don't take it so hard, kid.

You had a little run

of bad luck.

Trust me, I know from bad luck.

I forged a life out of it, Rach.

Rach, let me ask you something.

Do I lack something?

(LAUGHING)

Yeah.

A box.

See, I'm trying to be...

I'm trying to be serious here.

All right.

Let's get serious.

Okay.

Let's just think

this thing over, all right?

What have we got?

What's our situation here?

Well, we got two people

who have problems.

Now what can we do about it?

Well, what we can do about it is,

A, we can sit here

and we can complain about it.

Two, we can go out there now

and do something about it.

Yeah.

Do what?

Go where?

The heart of darkness.

Where's that?

New Jersey.

Do you think

this was a good idea?

What do you think?

It could be dangerous.

It could be dangerous?

The man collects thumbs.

And heads.

Wait a minute,

what do you mean, heads?

Human heads.

Ah, human heads.

You still want to go?

Huh? Me? Are you kidding?

More than ever.

OK.

OK.

Let's go.

OK.

Steady. Up, up, up, up!

Uhh! Ohh!

Uhh! Uhh!

What's the matter

with you, fleas?

HARRY:
I'm itchy

from floating in that water.

What?

You have the worst luck

of anybody I've ever met.

Your wife left you,

you don't really have a job,

you're in debt, and on top

of everything else,

you're diseased?

Hey, what can I tell you?

Some guys have it,

some guys don't.

Ohh!

Rachel?

(BEEP)

Whoa!

What did I tell you?

Okay, let's move before some zebras show up

and kick this guy's ass.

It's small, OK?

So look for something...

Boy, Beastie Boys should have

never taken that Amazon gig.

Come on, let's go.

Harry?

(BANGING HEAD)

What?

Ohh.

Do you see that?

What is it?

It's locked. We need a long,

thin piece of wire or something. You know?

Yeah, perfect.

I knew it.

Wow!

I don't know.

What's that?

Wow!

I have a feeling garage doors

all over America just opened.

Hey, Rach, look at these.

Lotto balls.

They are lotto balls.

This thing's full of them.

What the hell is this guy

doing with lotto balls?

Wait a minute.

Opposite poles attract, right?

Similar poles repel.

Right.

OK, that means

these things are magnetized.

These are magnetized.

He covers them in metallic paint

and magnetizes the balls.

Yes.

Aah...

You, too, can scam lotto.

Yeah!

Let's get those balls.

Yeah.

(BUZZER)

Harry.

Let's go!

Okay, here.

Come on!

RACHEL:
Oh, no!

Come on, let's go!

I'm right behind you, Harry.

(FOOTSTEPS PASSING BY)

Come on, let's get out of here.

Aah! Aah!

Harry! Harry!

Handcuffs! Handcuffs!

Cuff him!

You know, I wish I had

a piece of metal...

Yeah. Right.

Ow!

You all right?

You okay?

Yes.

Aah!

You've got a mean streak.

Come on, Rach.

You all right?

Come on!

Come on, let's go!

Let's go, let's go, let's go,

let's go, let's go! Whoa!

Who is that?

Get out of the way!

Is that a gun?

That's a gun.

It's all right, we'll move.

Harry.

Got him.

(LAUGHS)

Come on, baby.

Yeah!

See you later, Harry.

All right.

Wee-hoo!

Yeah!

So you want to play games, huh?

Harry.

Okay, I'll play

some games, my boy.

(LAUGHS)

How's that?

Yes.

You all right?

This is getting fun.

Come on!

Yeah!

A tug of war, huh?

Two can play at that game.

RACHEL:
Uhh! Harry!

Get them! Get them!

Put on your scuba gear, boys.

Get them!

Oh, my God!

Aah!

RACHEL:
Let's go!

HARRY:
You want to talk about timing?

I just joined Triple-A, I swear to God.

Harry, watch out for the gate!

Aah!

What gate?

(GUARD FIRING GUN)

Whoa! Yeah!

The claim we hold is as good as gold,

Bonanza!

Yee-haw!

Hand by hand we built this land,

The Ponderosa Ranch

(HUMMING BONANZA THEME)

The claim we hold is as good as gold,

Bonanza

Yee-haw!

Whoo!

Hey, Rach, remember what you did to that guy

back there in the bathroom?

You have to promise me you'll never,

ever do that to me.

Oh, mama, talk to me, baby!

Talk to me!

Oh, Lord!

Oh, baby!

I'm so rich I can't stand it!

Whoo!

Oh, Lord of mercy!

Lord of mercy!

Talk to me!

Rach!

Harry!

Harry, what's going on?

Oh, Rach, big news!

Big news!

- What?

- Jump into these arms! Come here!

Oh, see this beach we're dancing around on?

We're going to buy it.

What has gotten into you, Harry?

Love. Love and money,

and three winning

lottery combinations.

Stay right here.

Yeah!

We're going to fly to

Rio de Janeiro

Look at this.

Look right there.

See that?

That's the game that Hilda won.

I recognize the numbers.

- So?

- All right, now look at the next series.

25, 32, 8, 13, 39, 3.

The date, look at the date.

It hasn't happened yet.

It's the next drawing!

I can't believe this! This is unbelievable!

You know the big benefit

up on the ship?

It's worth $56 million.

Here's what they do.

They take the box,

they attach it to the lottery machine somehow,

I'm not exactly sure yet,

and they take

the magnetic balls we found,

they put them

in the appropriate tubes.

They already know what the

numbers and day's going to be,

they have it all figured out.

It's actually beautiful when you think about it.

Do you think the police

will believe us?

(LAUGHS)

What police?

When we give them

the black box and the balls?

Oh, you're so cute.

We're not going to give anything to anybody.

Least of all the police.

Don't be silly. What else

can we do with that?

- We're going to buy a ticket.

- You can't do that. That's illegal.

Uh-oh! Okay, let's take a walk.

Come on.

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