The Starving Games Page #2
attached to them,
we'll send them off
Let's meet
our first contestant.
Going in order
from District One,
he's the odds-on favorite
to win this thing.
He's blond. He's Waspy.
He's the Aryan youth
incarnate.
He's Marco!
Yeah!
Ahh! Yeah!
Hello, guy.
Tell us
about yourself.
I'm from District One.
It's a prime district.
Who are you?
I'm Cinnamon,
your stylist.
How are you
holding up?
I'm scared.
I don't want to die.
Ahh. I'm here
to tell you
that I
believe in you.
You can win this.
I looked
at your records,
and you are smarter and
craftier than all of them.
Really? You think
that I can win?
Yes, Patricia.
I know it.
Who's Patricia?
You're not the girl
from District Three?
No, I'm from
District 12.
You know, this is
perfectly normal.
You seem like you strong--
And now, from District 12,
Peter Malarkey.
So, Peter, tell us,
is there a special
someone in your life?
Yeah.
Yeah, there is someone.
Aww.
Aww.
Ohh.
Well, do tell.
The person's
actually here tonight,
a person who is...
also in the Games.
In the Games with you?
Aww.
Aww.
Well, go on.
Well...
it's a person
I've been wanting
to get closer to
for a long time.
You son of a b*tch.
So...
tall,
with beautiful eyes
and a smoking
hot bod, but...
you know,
more than anything,
this person's
got a lot of heart.
Aww.
Aww.
Well, you must tell us.
Who is it?
It's Marco!
Me?
Heh.
Huh?
Huh?
Let's hear it
for Peter.
You little sh*t!
I'm gonna stick
a foot in your ass!
Ohh! Jeez.
What the hell
was that about?
It's called
building an alliance.
Haven't you ever watched
"Survivor" or "Big Brother"?
- Aah!
- When's--
When was the last time
you trimmed your toenails?
Ohh.
And now, for our
final contestant,
from District 12,
Kantmiss Evershot.
Whoo!
Let's take a look.
Kantmiss is the best
big sister in the world.
She takes care of me.
She even reads to me.
Ever since Dad died,
Mom's been
but that doesn't stop the three of
us from having a whole lot of fun.
From the first time
I saw Kantmiss, I knew.
I knew she was
the one for me.
She's got class.
She's a real lady.
Oh, my God.
Ohh!
Oh, my God.
Ohh!
Ohh!
Isn't that
just touching?
Aww.
Aww.
Let's bring her out,
shall we?
Kantmiss Evershot!
So, Kantmiss,
that's quite a dress.
Give us a little spin.
Heh. Go on.
Don't be shy.
Very nice.
Oh.
Wow, I'm getting word
that flames
actually ignite
from the dress.
Flames?
Oh! ! Oh!
- Oh, my God.
- Oh,.
Oh, . Aah!
Why are you clapping,
you stupid?!
Aah!
- I'm on fire!
- I'm on fire!
Let's hear it for Kantmiss,
the girl on fire!
Ah,!
It's on fire!
It's on fire! It burns!
I'm on fire!!
Good morning, sport fans,
and welcome to the 75th
annual Starving Games.
I'm your host Bob Hylox,
and with me is my sidekick
and color commentator,
Cleaver Williams.
Cleaver, how you doing?
Excited about
today's Games?
Fantastic.
Cleaver is a past
Games winner, of course.
In fact, Cleaver,
why don't you tell everybody
in the district watching,
how you got
that delightful nickname.
I used a meat cleaver
to kill everyone.
Still got the old moves.
Hello, Siri.
Hello, Seleca.
How's it hanging, boo?
Low and to the left.
Good one.
All right.
Looks like the contestants
have taken the field.
All right, Siri,
cut to the field.
Say your prayers, my son,
'cause you are dead.
And the countdown
has begun.
30,
29...
Oh, God.
28...
27...
Hmm?
26...
25...
24,
23,
22...
21...
Now, it's very important
that the contestants
don't move
off the silver circles
before zero.
Otherwise, kablammo,
as the field is booby-trapped
with explosives.
Don't need to remind me.
I went too soon, and I
still can't poop right.
How 'bout that?
13,
12...
11...
Huh?
What are you
doing here?
We were asked
to perform
at the opening
ceremony.
This is the arena.
Oh, you're looking
for stage two.
Oh. Thanks.
Thanks.
Oops.
Wow! What a way
to start the Games!
10,
9...
8...
7...
6,
5...
4...
3...
2...
Siri, more blood.
Oh.
Much better.
Ooh!
Ooh!
Yeah, Marco! Yeah!
Let go!
I got here first!
Yaah!
Now give it to me!
No. I'm not letting go.
There is a dagger
in your back!
I'm okay!
What?
It's fine.
It's fine?
Seriously?
You're not letting go?
I want this backpack!
I want this backpack!
I want it. It's mine!
I'm not letting go!
That was my backpack!
What was that sound?
It's the cannon.
They shoot it off
to announce whenever
someone is killed.
Nice.
Looks like the odds
just got better
for me, then.
My balls!
Oh! That has
got to hurt.
Let's see
an instant replay.
My balls!
My balls!
My balls!
My ball--
My ball--
My--My ball--
My ball--
My balls!
That makes me
laugh, Bob.
Get away from me!
Wow!
Who is this girl?
What district
is she from?
I'm standing here
where people can't believe
that Peter and Kantmiss
have actually survived
the opening.
You can see
the excitement is high,
as no one from this district
has won in a very long time.
Yeah!
Unh!
Go, Kantmiss! Whoo!
That's my girl!
That's my girl!
Yeah!
Back to you
in the studio.
I'm on TV!
Thanks, Stanley.
And how's the scoreboard
looking, Cleaver?
Got a lot
of people dead.
Still,
lot of people alive.
Enlightening.
Oh, looks like Kantmiss
is making her way
to the outer edge
of the arena.
Siri, slow her down.
Ow.
Now let's get Kantmiss back
to the center of the action.
Holla!
And cue the thrilling
action music.
Ooh.
Hmm.
Oh, you want
to play, huh? Okay.
Siri.
Yeah, what you need?
Attack her
with the latest
technological weaponry
we have.
Whoo-hah!
Oh, sh*t!
Yah! Whee hee hee!
Hee hee hee!
No.
What? What?
Orange you glad
to see me?
Hey, hey, hey!
What do you get
when you cross an orange
with Quentin Tarantino?
"Pulp Fiction."
You get it?
Pulp.
Hey, Kantmiss,
last time I saw
tits that small,
I was staring
at a pair of kumquats.
Aah!
Go, Kantmiss!
Ooh,
she sure showed
yo' sorry ass up!
You--You shut up, Siri.
You shut up!
Sh*t. Don't hate
the player.
You--
Hate the game!
Wow! I've never seen
anyone do that before.
She's badass.
Respect.
Reminds me
a little bit of myself.
I'll stop now before
I get too emotional.
Eat my ass!
Think you're so tough?
Well, come back
from this, b*tch!
Hey, guys, come on!
Let's go this way!
Come on. Hurry!
Let's go!
When I see her,
she's mine.
She's gotta be
around here somewhere.
You sure Kantmiss
came this way?
Uh, I know it.
How can we be so sure
that we can trust you?
I mean, didn't you volunteer
to be in the games
just so you can get
closer to Kantmiss?
No.
I mean, maybe at first,
but I don't
like her anymore.
Really?
Well, you know,
back in District 12,
she's--
she's known
as quite the whore.
Ahh.
There.
Heh.
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"The Starving Games" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_starving_games_21382>.
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