The Sum of Us Page #5

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Oh, the agonizing pain of it

all, that's what she said.

I've often wondered what she meant but...

I suppose I knew, straight away.

She just wanted someone to talk to.

Someone to laugh with,

have a good time with,

get drunk with.

Cuddle up to.

Doesn't seem a lot to ask, does it?

I mean, for f***'s sake,

how can you be too bloody domestic?

- A sensational value of 239,

It's part of a new range

that includes a two

and a half seater, a sleeper

sleeper sofa version,

and you can buy matching chairs.

We have all of them now in stock.

- He seemed like such a nice lad, too.

- Yeah, didn't he?

- Are you seeing him again?

Plenty more fish in the sea, eh?

I was, uh,

wondering what you'd like

for tea, tomorrow night.

Thought I'd buy a leg of lamb.

You always like a roast.

Nice baked potatoes, thick gravy,

and, uh,

don't forget to sort out your laundry.

I'll get it done for you tomorrow.

You ever thought of going

to an introduction agency?

One of those, uh,

computer dating services?

They've got them in

those magazines of yours.

- Not tonight, Dad.

Some other time, maybe.

- Fair enough.

Don't stay up too late, will you, son?

- No, Dad.

She comes into my mind, from time to time.

That woman on the train.

Life could be a dream

Life could be a dream

Do do do do do shaboom

Life could be a dream

If I could take you

up in paradise up above

If you would tell me I'm

the only one that you love

Life could be a dream sweetheart

Hello again

Shaboom

Life could be a dream

If only all my prayers

and plans would come true

If you would let me spend

my whole life loving you

Life could be a dream sweetheart

- Joyce.

- Mr. Mitchell.

- Please...

Call me Harry.

- That's very thoughtful.

- Yes! Yes! Yes!

- Thank you, darling.

- Look at you. You're on a winning streak.

- Ever since I met you, Joyce.

You look wonderful.

- I must say, you always

know the right thing

to say to a woman.

- Well!

Life without women would be like

a barbecue without beer, wouldn't it?

Speaking of which, shall we go?

I've reserved our usual table.

- I haven't had so much fun in ages.

- This is getting a bit

serious, isn't it, Mum?

- No, no, it's just fun to

go out again with someone you like,

who obviously likes you.

- Mum.

- It's all right, dear.

Harry's great, but we'll

take it step by step.

I'm a bit more wary, these days.

- Hey, look. Dad left

you. It wasn't your fault.

- Well, of course it was, part of it.

You can't put all the blame on one side,

when a marriage breaks down.

- Would you ever take him back?

- No, dear. Never.

Once bitten, and all that.

- Jeff.

Jeff.

- Not much else to do, is there?

- Sitting around here all the time,

feeling sorry for

yourself. Getting stoned.

You should be out looking at the world,

making a contribution.

Sowing your oats, eh?

Something wonderful, like love,

the greatest adventure of all.

Your Gran said it once.

- I make a contribution, mate.

I look after people's drains.

You know, life would be pretty

shitty without plumbers.

- Not very romantic, though, is it?

Not like planting a forest.

- Fair go, mate. I'm just me.

- I know you are.

You have that freedom.

So go on.

Prove to me

that the way I brought

you up wasn't wrong,

that my mother wasn't wrong,

that what she found was wonderful,

that it was worth everything.

All for love.

That young Gary, he seemed clean enough.

- Greg,

Greg, don't start, Dad.

Not now. Just go and have some fun.

You, uh,

got some rich widow you're

seeing on the sly, have you?

- What if I have?

You're not the only one

that gets lonely, son.

I like women.

I like the way they're put together.

I like them all soft and squishy.

I like having them, for Pete's sake.

I'm sick of living in sin

with my own right hand.

- Ease off, Dad.

- Ah, that shouldn't worry you, should it?

You're going for world-champion

wanker, aren't you?

- Sorry about that.

Got a bit carried away or

something, I don't know.

I mean it's not quite like that.

I mean, I do it.

Of course I do, who doesn't?

Got to relieve the tension, somehow.

But he makes it sound like I'm some sort

of rampant sex maniac.

You don't like to think of your

own Dad doing that, do you?

I mean, you know he must.

Doesn't seem quite right, does it?

- He drives me screaming

up the walls, sometimes.

It's not an easy thing

for a man to accept,

that his mother's been

doing it with another woman

for forty years.

I used to wonder that the love between

them must be extraordinary,

if they were prepared to risk everything,

all for love.

That's when I started to

think about blokes and blokes.

Never did it, of course. Never wanted to.

I think it was the idea of the

hairy bums that put me off.

But if what Mum and

Mary had was so amazing,

You know, I thought maybe

it's the same for men, too.

Anyway,

I met my wife, then there was Jeff.

I thought, Ah, well, it's in the blood.

It's just skipped a generation, you know,

from my mother to him.

I made up my mind that no matter what,

he'd be his own man.

And I knew that I'd love him.

But he drives me screaming

up the wall, sometimes.

- This has all been a bit

of a shock to me, Harry.

Us getting on so well.

It's a nice shock, I might add.

I didn't have very high hopes

when I went to that agency.

I never expected anything serious.

- It is, on my part.

- How serious?

- I want you to meet Jeff.

Then if the two of you get on...

I'm going to pop the question.

- And, um, if we don't?

We'll cross that bridge if we come to it.

- Wow.

I wouldn't want to come

between you two, anyway.

You seem very close.

- We've got to think of

ourselves first, Joyce.

- It's a big step, all the same.

But I guess we should put

our cards on the table.

Look,

I might not be very, um,

imaginative in the bed department, Harry,

but I never said no to my husband,

not in all the years we were married.

- Not once?

- Well obviously there were

certain times after Jenny

was born and when I wasn't

well. But no, apart from that

he always got his onions,

whenever he wanted them.

Could have had them a bit more often, too,

if he'd played his cards right.

I like to be wooed.

- Yes, you do, don't you?

- So, as long as you're not too demanding,

you'll get what you want, on that score.

- I think we should stop

beating around the bush.

- I didn't think I was.

- Well, you don't have

to give me your answer,

straight away, but, um,

you know what's on my mind.

Will you marry me?

What's all this?

What's this all about?

Eh? What's the matter?

- I'd given up hope.

I just didn't think it was

going to happen to me again.

- No, neither did I.

- I've been so lonely for so

long, and I just didn't think.

It's you kneeling down that did it.

- Well,

will you?

- No.

- Why?

I thought...

- It's too soon.

I don't want to make another mistake.

Look, let's give it six months.

And then if we still feel the same way...

- Make it three months.

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