The Super Page #4

I might as well play.

Enjoy myself a little bit.

Okay, uh, what?

Sixty dollars.

- I gotta take the highest bet.

- All right. Seventy-five.

- A hundred.

- A hundred and twenty-five.

- A hundred and fifty.

- A hundred and seventy-five.

- Two hundred dollars...

- Aah!

First day on the job and I hit the big time.

Thank you, Lord.

You broke, big shot?

[Laughing] Okay.

- Um...

- where's the money?

It's me, Marlon.

what do you mean, where's the money? "

I gotta see the money. This is business.

I wanna see the money.

You owe me the rent money! what is he ta...

Guy lives in my building.

He wants me to show the money.

All right. I'm okay.

- Okay, so where is it?

- where is it?

- Let me see. I'm not sure. I think it's right...

- [Spectators Laugh, Groan]

Look at that! Huh?

Like a small miracle, huh?

- Did you know that guy that was here?

- [woman] I don't know that guy.

Now I got my rent money!

Huh? [Chuckles]

- You know what this is?

- Yeah, I know what this is.

- [Spectators Laughing]

- Didn't I tell you I was gonna get the rent money?

- You gave it to me all right.

- Don't forget to give me a receipt.

- [All Laughing]

- For my pride.

where were we? where were we?

Follow the bee. Follow the bee.

[Card Game Continues, Indistinct]

[Tires Screeching]

Hey! Heather! Heather! Heather!

- Heather!

- You sure this is it?

- " [wolf whistle]

- [Catcalling]

Aw, they're a bunch of animals!

[Taunting, whistling]

- Get out.

- Hold it right there, Mr. Superintendent.

- Out of the way, Leotha. This is an emergency.

- Not until you tell me...

when you're gonna fix

the boiler in the building.

There's nothin' wrong with the boiler

in the building. It's runnin', ain't it?

All the way up to 40 degrees.

I am freezing.

- Get a man.

- Up yours, Kritski.

Good thing you're here. One more friggin' day,

I'll be ready for the funny farm...

with these people.

Ah, things are startin'

to change, though.

That's it, honey.

Climb the stairway to heaven.

Louie!

wait till we're in your apartment.

Just tryin' to help you up the stairs.

what do you mean?

Eeyew! what is the smell

in this building?

- It smells like...

- Piss.

Yeah! It smells like piss!

what is that?

It's piss. Drunks come in the hallway

and they piss.

[Scoffs]

You let them pee in here?

It's not like they ask permission.

You know what I'm talkin' about?

- [Screams] It was a rat!

- what?

I saw a huge rat, Louie. I can't do it.

I can't stay in a place where there's rats!

It's not a rat.

You know, it's probably one of those, uh...

those Chihuahuas, they got

those ugly-lookin' dogs, these tenants.

They look like rats.

That's all it is.

- That's why the building is virtually rat-free.

- weird.

- Here we are.

- [Gasps]

I cleaned it up a little bit,

as best I could, you know.

- I can't get anybody to really come in and...

- Oh, my God!

Make yourself comfortable.

I'll be right there.

I want to get something

for us to drink.

Some wine I picked up.

Come on. I'll take your coat.

Be comfortable. Relax!

You look tense. Relax.

That's it. Come on.

You want to sit here for a sec?

- Yes. I picked this up for us.

- what is that?

It's wine. They drink it in the neighborhood.

It's supposed to be really good.

A little nasty. But, uh... [Sniffs]

You always liked to be nasty, didn't you?

- Didn't you? Huh?

- Nasty? Louie, no!

- what's the matter?

- I don't know, it's just...

- [Sirens Blaring, Distant]

- Look, I'm in prison here.

This is my conjugal visit.

Didn't I tell you on the phone?

You knew the place was a dump.

- what's the big deal?

- [Scoffs] what do you want me to do?

You want me to lie there and spread my legs

and try not to throw up...

for as long as it takes you

to get your rocks off?

- You actually considering doing that?

- No!

- Come on, just...

- Louie!

Come here. Just, uh, sit down.

Give it a chance.

Give it a chance. Give the wine a shot, you know.

Loosen up a little bit.

Ah, it's not that bad, see?

It's pretty comfortable, right?

- Here. You take the first sip.

- [Neighbors Screaming]

Oh! No, it's all right.

Yeah? what are you talk...

It's not so bad. Except for the smell.

It's this place, you know? It's...

It's hard to get in the mood.

- Yeah. well, you know, maybe... Try the wine?

- Maybe some music!

- Do you have anything soft and sexy?

Luther Vandross?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or Freddie Jackson?

I love Freddie Jackson.

- Yeah, now you got it. Hey!

- I love him.

Oh, sh*t! I forgot...

Oh, Heather! Heather, listen! Hold it! Hold it!

what about Johnny Mathis?

Remember Johnny Mathis?

"[Imitating Johnny Mathis]

Heather! wait a minute!

- Heather, listen.

- I've tried, really. I've really tried.

[Taunting, Laughing, whistling]

Heather, listen.

I'll put some Lysol on it.

It won't work, Louie. Drive!

And keep on driving!

- Shut up!

- Hey! Speedy Gonzales Kritski!

- Give us a quickie!

- Shut up!

I hope you can fix my plumbing

as fast as you fixed her!

Maybe he needs

his plumbing fixed.

If that's the way white boys do it,

I can see why they look so tense!

- [All Laughing]

- He may want to work on the little lady...

but he's got

a very busy day.

He got walls to plaster, he gots pipes

to change, and he got carpet to lay.

Just keep on laughing.

That's all right.

Keep on laughin', 'cause

pretty soon I'll be outta here.

I'll be downtown in my own apartment

layin' in my Jacuzzi...

just laughin' about all you a**holes

stuck in this shithole.

- [Laughing]

- Get outta my way.

Anger is the foothold

of the devil.

F*** you and the devil!

[Man]

I told ya, I'm going to the store.

[Gurgling]

Eleanor! Eleanor!

- I already paid my rent!

- Got nothin' to do with rent.

- My toilet's stopped up.

I gotta go to the bathroom.

- So?

- what do you mean, So"?

I gotta use your bathroom.

- No!

Come on! what do you mean, No"?

How could you say no?

It's easy. You should know that.

It's the only word you seem to know...

when I ask you to fix

somethin' in my apartment.

- How much do you want? I'll pay you.

- You don't have enough money.

- what do you expect me to do? Sh*t outside?

- Lincoln did.

- [Car Alarm wailing]

- [Neighbors Laughing]

It's on!

[Laughing]

[Car Alarm Continues]

[Chirping, Alarm Stops]

- [Alarm Resumes]

- [Neighbors Laugh]

- [Chirps, Alarm Stops]

- [Laughing Continues]

Mr. Kritski.

Mr. Kritski,

we have to talk.

well, well. Miss Bensinger. what brings you

to this hellhole in that tight skirt?

- Don't tell me, I know.

- Code violations, Mr. Kritski.

The tenants have informed me

you haven't addressed any of them.

Can't stay away from me, huh?

Like a moth to a flame.

- Not even a single one,

as directed by the court.

- Like the swallows to Capistrano.

And I see, obviously you have

no intention of doing so.

Oh, no? Check this out.

I am currently supervising

the rewiring of the entire building.

well, this is a big surprise, Mr. Kritski.

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