The Swan Page #8

If I want to take you

and carry you off

into the darkness out there?

Close your eyes.

Stop your lips.

Nicholas, Nicholas.

Ahh, Alexandra.

Your poor

dear mother

has gone to bed,

but she's better.

And we had quite a little talk.

Very illuminating.

Well, I shall say good night.

Sleep well.

Oh, the professor.

That

little discourse

of yours...

Very interesting.

Original, too.

Something

quite new--

astronomical impertinence.

Albert!

He took a modest drink with us,

and the first thing we knew,

he lifted us soaring

up into the sky,

stayed there himself,

and let me drop back

to earth with a thud.

Albert, you're

not being fair.

He's not like us.

I've noticed that.

He comes

of a freer world

than ours.

Obviously.

He isn't bound

by our conventions.

My dear,

you're altogether

too generous.

Your mother has

told me everything--

how you have been

the innocent target

for these unpleasant attentions.

That isn't the truth.

You don't understand.

It's never easy

to understand

a bad joke.

Your

royal highness,

supper is served.

Your tolerance

does you credit,

but however

charmingly you defend

his bad manners,

it doesn't alter them.

He remains an insolent

upstart.

Your highness--

I won't let you

call him that!

I do call him that.

I call him

a great deal more

than that.

He's a snob of the worst kind--

the upside-down variety.

Just an ill-bred astronomer

who hopes to hitch

his peasant cart

to a star

and drag you

down with him

into the mud.

Nicholas, don't answer him!

I forbid you to!

Nicholas!

Ohh...

That's another matter.

Quite another matter.

In that case, professor,

I apologize.

Good night.

He called him a peasant

and said he just wanted

to drag me in the mud.

Shh.

You haven't touched

your breakfast, your highness.

It doesn't matter.

Lisa...

Yes, your highness.

Do all the indoor staff live in?

Yes, your highness.

In the servants' wing.

Even Caesar?

Yes.

Or, for instance, the professor?

You go along the main corridor

and through the staff door.

Then turn right,

and the professor's door

is the first on the left.

Thank you. It

was just a matter

of interest.

What is that?

It's the queen.

It's her majesty, sir.

It can't be.

It is, sir.

There's no question about it.

At 9:
00?

Dear mother.

How she loves to catch

people on the wrong foot.

In this case,

no feet at all,

sir.

What will

happen when

she finds out?

Now you know.

Beatrix, you've seen?

I have. 2 hours early.

Typical! But she's

still going to be

too late.

What's all that for?

She's going to the black sea

without any breakfast.

And you're going

downstairs to Dominika.

Beatrix, you can't

escape this now.

Oh, can't I?

As that woman

comes in the front,

I go out the back.

Now, listen, my dear.

You've been sitting

snug in a monastery.

You don't know her!

She's never let

our family forget

that the wittenburgs

gave us a home in exile.

Our poor little home.

Where's my hat?

She'll take it away so fast,

we'll barely have time

to save our belongings. Oh!

Karl, if you don't stop her,

I shall jump straight

out of that window!

She'll walk in

over my dead body.

All right, my dear.

Just keep her long enough.

That's all I ask.

Don't cry, dear.

The good lord

will help us.

He's the only one now who can!

Why, Karl, you aren't

even dressed yet.

Oh, I forgot.

You never are.

Your royal majesty,

you bring honor and

glory to this house.

I also bring some

of my pickled beet root.

It's very good

for Beatrixs complexion.

Uh...

You can stop bowing

and go to work.

At the palace,

I stopped half

the bowing

and replaced it

with elbow grease.

Where is Beatrix?

Uh, well, uh--

countess, get me out

of this cocoon.

Caesar, I should like

a cup of good strong bouillon

with some Sherry in it.

If I know my son,

he's still asleep.

Have his royal highness

roused and sent to me.

Isn't she down yet?

Well, uh, no, she isn't.

She--

well, I'll go up.

Oh. Oh, no, please.

Cousin Dominika,

you mustn't do that.

This morning,

I am a cousin.

It's a family affair,

and no ceremony.

Oh, Dominika, please.

Why don't you go in the salon,

wait for your bouillon?

Karl, don't

dictate to me.

I don't like it. But--

and don't keep

interrupting.

I like that even less.

You all have

wonderful news.

I know that.

Beatrix is bursting to see me.

Albert is delighted, I know.

I shall stay for 2 hours,

and then we shall have to go.

She's coming!

Alexandra

is a dear child.

I remember her well.

I shall tell Beatrix

to bring her to town

in 6 weeks' time.

Beatrix!

Where are you?

Is that you, cousin Dominika?

Indisposed?

Yes, very.

Beatrix, you're seedy.

Now stop squirming.

It's quite impossible

to curtsy in bed.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well, it's all

been rather sudden.

Perhaps he thought she'd gone.

Gone?

She can't be as bad as that.

What is it?

Oh, it's nothing.

Just a little

infectious rash.

Infectious? Hmm.

Nonsense.

Let me look at it.

And a chill, Dominika.

I always get the two together.

Well, it runs in the family.

I know exactly

how to deal with it--

hot water bottle for the chill.

Cold compress

for the rash.

Fetch them.

It's nervous

excitement, of course.

Now, don't look

so guilty, Beatrix.

When a dearly

beloved daughter takes

such a step as this,

you're entitled

to a chill and a rash.

You know all about it?

Of course I know, ohh...

And I'm delighted!

You are?

Why don't you

run away and get

some breakfast?

Well, we can all have some now

now that dear

cousin Dominika

is such a brick

about what happened.

What happened?

What happened?

Beatrix, you're

hiding something

from me.

What is it?

Karl?

Symphorosa?

May I come in?

Albert?

Good morning, mother.

Cousin Beatrix, better, I hope.

Albert, something

has transpired here.

What?

What?

What, indeed?

Bertie!

Uh...

Well, mother...

What exactly do you know?

I know just one thing--

that I'm to be

told everything

in the next 30 seconds.

I think it will be

easier in there.

Up to last night,

cousin Alexandra and I,

we hadn't met.

Cousin Alexandra was, uh...

Well, um... She was

something of an icicle,

and I was, um...

What was I?

A fish. Hmm?

Fish?

Yes, I suppose I was.

Mind you, one that

we're all devoted to.

An icicle and a fish.

Not much chance of warmth there.

Of course, it was

very painful to me,

and it was painful, too,

I suppose, to Alexandra

and cousin Beatrix.

I should think so.

Much more painful.

So there we all were, suffering.

I suffered.

Alexandra and

cousin Beatrix suffered.

So did cousin Karl

and aunt Symphorosa.

So did the boys

and, uh...

The professor.

What professor?

Now, that's just the point.

There's a professor

with the boys.

Oh, stop groaning!

This professor,

he's young, he's charming,

and he suffered

more than anybody.

I don't see why.

Oh, you will.

4 days went by,

and the icicle

didn't melt,

and the fish was still...

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