The Swan Page #9

Cousin Beatrix was

quite in despair,

and you know

what desperation

leads to.

In this case, it led

to the professor.

How did you know that?

Captain Wunderlich is

a very experienced aide.

Well, what about this professor?

Cousin Beatrix had the notion

of injecting

a little competition

into the affair,

but, unhappily,

there was one thing

she overlooked.

You see, the professor,

this studious, young man--

ha ha! It sounds absurd, I know,

but he was

secretly in love

with Alexandra.

And Alexandra with him?

Mother, you're interrupting.

So there he was,

this poor fellow,

just a means to an end,

a worm to catch a fish,

and so humble through it all,

so silent in all his suffering.

Pathetic.

And then I insulted him.

Insulted him?

You had no right

to do that.

What a woman.

Not only all brain.

All heart, too.

Why did you insult

that poor boy?

Ah, why?

Why?

Because you were...

Jealous.

Of course.

Of course.

Ohh...

Oh, that motorcar.

Shall I?

Yes, yes.

So then what happened?

So there he was,

this poor fellow,

his romantic dream in ruins,

a martyr, and all

for the sake of the family.

I appeal to you, mother.

Don't you think such

a young man worthy

of high praise?

The highest possible.

Do you think such

a young man deserves

to be punished?

Certainly not.

Does he deserve

to be disgraced, despised,

discharged, perhaps?

Heaven forbid.

Does he even deserve

to be reprimanded?

No, of course he doesn't.

Why, on the contrary.

I think he deserves--

I don't know, but I think

he deserves to be...

He deserves to be kissed.

Well, that's exactly

what happened to him.

What?

What do you mean,

that's what

happened to him?

What you said.

Alexandra kissed him.

Alexandra?

Just exactly as you said.

I said?

I said...

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes.

Yes.

Wasn't it awful?

She couldn't

bear to watch him

suffer any longer.

A sweet, warm-hearted girl

like her.

So she kissed him.

What could be

more natural? Nothing.

No.

I suppose not.

And there were you,

cousin Beatrix,

worrying yourself into bed

about something

which mother found

perfectly natural.

Didn't you?

Well, yes.

Yes.

That is the most

extraordinary

nightgown

I've ever seen.

Well, I--

well, one can't

always believe

one's eyes.

Or even one's ears sometimes.

I want to see Alexandra.

I'll get her for you.

Uh-uh-uh-uh.

I'll fetch her.

Mother!

Mother,

professor Agi's leaving!

Why is he going,

mother?

He's leaving this morning.

Silence!

Boys, behave yourselves.

This is not a Republic.

Now, come and greet me.

I am your sovereign

and also your aunt once removed.

You should respect them both.

Now, what was all

the shouting about?

Why is this professor leaving?

Has he been discharged?

It's because

of Napoleon!

I bet it is!

Napoleon?

Mother

and he don't agree

on the subject.

Beatrix, you don't

approve of that man!

Approve?!

My dear, I have a book.

I shall send it to you.

It's most comforting.

It proves conclusively

that Napoleon never existed.

Albert, you're

not just a prince.

You're a gentleman.

I'm a liar, too.

I may also be an idiot.

Where is she?

Alexandra?

Alexandra?

I'm almost ready.

Nicholas...

I'm going with you.

Your highness has no need

to carry things that far.

What do you mean?

With all respect,

your highness shouldn't

have come here.

Nicholas, what is it?

What's happened?

Nothing.

Nothing has happened at all.

Well, then why

are you like this?

What makes you talk like that?

The respect of a tutor...

For a Princess.

Oh, Nicholas.

Didn't you

understand?

I've made up my mind.

I've been thinking

the whole night,

and no one's going to stop us--

the family, no one!

I belong to you.

Oh, my darling.

Did last night mean so little,

or have you forgotten it?

Nicholas, I know

why you're behaving

like this.

The way I behave

and my departure

this morning...

Well, they are simply

my answer to the kiss

your highness gave me,

that kiss which had

all your pity in it

and all your contempt.

Contempt?

It meant that

I wasn't even a man.

I was just

a pet dog that

somebody kicked,

so you consoled

him with a pat

on the head.

Oh, is that how you took it?

If I could

have taken it

any other way...

Yes?

Then I would have returned it.

I am sure

your highness

understands that.

Yes, I understand.

I--

I'm glad you're so clear

in your head about it.

It's easy to

be clearheaded

in the morning

when the sun is shining.

And not the stars?

Not the stars.

I'm glad. It's--

it's better like this.

Yes, much better.

The boys will miss you.

They'll soon forget me.

Alexandra...

I said you should

make your farewells

last night.

We did.

I was just foolish enough

not to realize it.

The chapter

is closed,

eh, my boy?

Yes, father.

Completely closed.

I wasn't mistaken in you.

Well, I shan't say good-bye.

You'll be hearing from me.

He said it was contempt--

contempt and pity.

How could he say that?

It wasn't.

It wasn't.

I know my own

feelings.

Do you?

My dear, you forget...

All your life has

been spent learning

to suppress them.

When they suddenly

come to the surface

for a moment,

it's very easy

to make a mistake.

I kissed him out of pity.

Is that what

you really think,

uncle Karl?

I think that one day,

you'll decide for yourself

that it must have been that.

Now, dry your eyes

and come along.

Perhaps we can find

your answer in here.

Don't be alarmed.

It's not a duel to the death,

and it's not the guillotine.

What is it, then?

Your future...

And my part in it.

I haven't any future.

And even if I had,

I wouldn't want to

share it with anyone

who behaves as you do.

You've insulted me

and my whole family,

even before you came--

sending my mother

a telegram with

2 days' notice,

arrive here

in the middle

of the night

and don't come down

till the middle

of the next.

True. I can't

dispute any of that.

And when you did,

you might just as well

have stayed upstairs.

You behaved like a...

Like a fish.

You treated me as if

I was some sort of...

Not even that.

As if I were invisible.

Perhaps you were, to begin with.

And now, when your mother's here

and you can't help

yourself any longer,

you want to put

everything right.

Perhaps I can.

Mother's already survived

part of the earthquake.

The rest will

merely bring down

a few more pillars.

I don't know what you mean.

I mean, take

your professor,

Alexandra.

Marry him,

for better or worse.

It can't be worse

than the alternative.

As a husband,

I should be neither

ornamental nor clever.

And my jokes

aren't even amusing.

He has a few faults,

too, but, uh...

If you love him--

and I think you do--

you won't notice them.

I'm sure if his hand

touches yours,

you won't jump 10 feet.

So, uh...

Go with him...

And with my blessing,

if no one else's.

Uh, when I'm the monarch,

I'll, uh, see you're both

allowed to come back from, um...

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