The Tail Job Page #5

You can have this tone

or that one

or this.

- Yeah, I'll probably turn the sound off.

- Or even this one.

- Does this let you control the camera?

- Yes.

- Oh that's him!

Trevor, that's him!

- Now we know what

the son of a b*tch looks like!

- I would never cheat on

my boyfriend if I had one.

I mean, once I'm with a

guy, I'm with that guy

and all other guys become

androgynous in my mind.

- Okay, I better get going, okay?

- It's been fun hanging out.

Let's do it again soon.

I hope it works out with you and Mona.

Even if it does, we can

still hang out some time.

- Thanks, Stacey.

- Good luck!

- Okay, where is she headed?

- She seems to be heading

towards Central Station.

- We'll go left up here and

then we'll take King's Street.

- This battery's almost dead.

- There's a charger

thing in the glove box.

- Oh, there's your kids.

- Yep.

- Cute kids, mate.

- Yeah.

Not that I get to see them.

Judy's got them.

I get the child support.

I give the child support to the cheater.

That's how this system works.

- How'd you catch her?

- Six months after we got divorced,

drove the car past her

house and who was moving in

but f***ing David Nugent.

- Ah okay, so it was six

months after the divorce?

- Yep.

- Well that,

it's not really cheating, is it?

- Yeah, it f***ing is.

- Oh sh*t!

That's the psycho!

That's him, that's him!

Go, go, go, go now, go now!

- David Nugent moved in six

months after we got divorced!

All right, do the math!

Moving in is a huge step in a relationship

so what were they doing before that?

Now you can't tell me they weren't making

their filthy, disgusting love

whilst we were still together.

Those f***ing cowards!

I'm out here every f***ing night,

they're back at home having

a little love fest in my bed!

Don't trust a single one of them!

They're deceivers, all of them!

- Stop, stop!

Where is he?

F***ing!

- What the f***?

F***.

What a f***ing maniac!

- Oh my God!

- Aw, for f***'s sake!

Okay Nick, swap seats with me.

- What? No!

- Come on switch seats, yes you.

You're sober, I've been drinking.

You need to swap seats with me.

- He's right there, he'll see you.

- You have to swap.

- Just turn around!

- Come on, swap with me!

- No, no!

- Evening officer.

- Can I see your license please?

- Yep.

Absolutely.

- Do you realize how fast

you were going just now?

- Speed limit?

- Mhmm, what's the

speed limit around here?

- 60.

- Wrong.

It's 50 and I just clocked you doing 70.

That's 20k's over the limit

and you know what else I noticed?

You've got a busted mirror.

That's not very safe, is it?

- Don't think I have any

busted mirrors in this...

Yeah, it's that one.

Well spotted.

- You been drinking tonight?

- No.

- Huh, you sure?

- Yeah, no, actually, I had

a light beer with dinner.

- Care in to this and

stop when I tell you.

- Actually, I think it might

be better for me to get...

- Oh!

You might need to get

another cab home, mate.

- Officer, honestly, I've

been in the cab with him

since what, seven p.m. and a guarantee you

that he hasn't been drinking.

- It was an emergency.

I wouldn't be speeding if

it wasn't an emergency.

- It's emergency?

Oh, what kind of emergency?

- This young man, his fiancee is cheating

on him with another man.

- That's not an emergency.

- Officer, please, I asked him to speed.

I've got to save my marriage.

- They could be having sex right now.

- She's been texting this guy

and we've been following them.

- If you let us go now,

we can get them while

they're doing foreplay.

- We know where they are now,

we're so close to catching

her with Sio Bohan!

- Who did you just say she's with?

- Sio Bohan.

- All right, listen to me.

You guys need to go home right now.

You need to forget all about

chasing down Sio Bohan.

- But officer, she's my fiancee.

- She's gone now, forget her.

- What, gone?

- Trust me, Sio Bohan is

a nasty piece of work.

You're just lucky that I

caught you before he did.

Get out of here.

- You don't know where he lives do...

- I'm not f***ing around!

He's a very dangerous man.

Go home.

- So?

You going home?

This the place?

- This is where the signal ends.

- Do we go in?

- Hold it.

What the f*** are you doing?

- Just...

- He's...

- Looking for someone.

- Yep.

- They're not going to

be in my dryer, are they?

- Good point.

- That's him.

It's Sio Bhan.

He's got us trapped!

- Where's Mona?

- Do your normal face.

Closer.

- Show me, show me, show me!

- This is beautiful, so beautiful!

- That's disgusting!

Send it to me!

- Hey.

- You boys looking for trouble, are ya'?

- No, actually, we're

looking for the young lady...

- Shut up!

- Yeah.

- I don't know where my phone is.

- Did you leave it at home?

- No, I definitely used it

after I left the house already.

- Just, we'll have to

retrace our steps then.

- Okay.

Wait, hold on, can I use your phone first?

I'll put it on locked mode.

- So now what?

What's the plan?

- All right, I hold him and you hit him

or you hold him and I hit him?

- Well, what do you think would work?

- Quite frankly, I think I'm

better at both the holding

and hitting so you shouldn't.

- Okay, you hold him and I'll hit him.

- No one needs to hit me!

- Get up!

- Where is she?

- I don't know who you're talking about.

- Where's Mona?

- I don't know anyone called Mona!

Jesus!

- Why did that hurt me?

- You hold him, you hold him.

- Right.

Okay.

- Bohan, listen to this.

I'm only going to say

this once, Bohan, okay?

And I don't hit like a little girl.

- Who the f*** is Bohan?

- What?

You are.

You're Sio Bohan.

- What the f*** kind of name is Sio Bohan?

- We didn't know.

We thought it might have been

Asian and then maybe African,

but what are you, Yugoslavian?

- I don't know, there's maybe some Spanish

in there or something.

- Aw, Spanish!

- Yeah.

- No it's not Spanish!

I'm not Sio Bohan, okay?

- What?

- I'm not Sio Bohan, I'm not

the person you're looking for.

My name is Anthony!

Look, check my wallet!

Oh Jesus Christ.

It's in my back pocket.

- So you're not Sio Bohan?

- Aye.

- And you're not having a

relationship with his fiancee?

- What? No.

No.

- Then why do you have her phone?

- Yeah, why do you have her phone?

- Oh that.

Look, I found that in a taxi

earlier this evening, okay?

- What and you were holding on to it

so you could return it

to its rightful owner?

- I don't know.

I was just going to pawn

it for some extra cash.

- Well, that makes sense.

F***, I'm sorry.

- Hey, are yo sure you don't want

to stay for one more drink?

- No, I just want to go home.

- Okay, I'll get a taxi.

- Oh great!

She's had her phone locked.

Now we literally have no leads.

- Go on, give it here.

Okay.

Nah.

We should take this back to the warehouse

and see if one of Stacey's geeky friends

can unlock it for us.

- Yeah, maybe.

Or maybe I just up on

this whole thing, eh?

- What?

No!

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