The Taint Page #2

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Hey! Hey look at this bro.

Holy sh*t, this is some great f***ing work!

We're close,

very close.

You never seise to amaze me my friend.

Yeah,

thanks, yeah.

F***! F***ing gay pen.

Here, use mine.

Oh, is this a gel pen?

Yeah.

Gel pens are great.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Dude.

Yeah?

When we're famous scientists,

We are gonna get some

mad f***ing p*ssy.

Really?

Oh yeah,

f***ing girls will be like lining up in droves

to suck our c*cks.

I don't know if that's true.

I mean,

how many girls want to

suck your cock now?

Uh, probably none.

Maybe uh, Gina kinda likes me.

Oh no, f*** that b*tch.

I'm talking about super hot b*tches.

Girls that really know how to suck a cock.

I don't really know any women like that.

You will,

when we're rich and famous...

it will be some serious, total...

balls-to-the-wall cock sucking.

It's just the way it is.

Alright, I'm gonna do it.

Are you ready?

Yeah, yeah OK.

Are you sure?

This, this is gonna hurt.

Nah no just a little... little tickle.

Alright, OK.

Alright, I'm gonna do it on three.

One...

Two...

Alright I can't do this.

No I'm not gonna do this. Never...

What are you a f***ing p*ssy?

You wanna be a famous scientist?

Yeah.

You promise this isn't gonna hurt?

I promise.

Alright just do it.

Just do it quick.

First off I want to make sure that none of

you are faggots.

Are you a f*ggot?

No? OK good.

What do you have ?

You see...

we extracted the chemical from the male

body that controls penis function.

With it we can...

stimulate the dick receptors inside the balls

and therefore super-charge the cock itself.

Astronomically increasing

the subject's chances

of getting his cock sucked.

Here's our initial findings.

Whow, that's amazing.

I mean...

I'm not saying I have a small dick or

anything, cause I don't!

But uh.. man, this is good.

I have this friend, his name is Jim,

Jim, Jim, lets call him that.

Well he's got this litte tiny rod

of a piece of sh*t dick that

no woman would ever want to f***!

And he, I mean I, I mean he, f***!

He would love it,

I'll give you the funding.

That's us! That's our penis enhancer!

I just wanted to let you know I accepted a

job at Questor University

It was a really good opportunity and...

I can't be a lab assistant forever

I just wanted to let you know.

I won't forget you.

Gina wait...

Wait.

Sure, yeah, go, that's good.

You know I'm really starting to doubt your

commitment to the project.

I'm just saying theoretically,

couldn't we just find a chick who would

bang us both at the same time without

actually having to be rich and famous.

Like uh... like a skank or something.

Everybody knows

that the existential mysteries of life

are revealed though material possessions

and monetary gain.

You f***ing idiot!

Sometimes you're so stupid.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.

Yeah, it's ok.

Bro...

Yeah?

I love you.

What was that?

Drew?

Drew are you down here ?

No.

Listen uh, Drew...

were you and your friends

messing around with my wine collection?

No dad.

You know how much I was

looking forward to drinking that

1983 Campbell Farms Merlou.

F*** you.

What have I told you about language son?

Come on.

So anyway...

How are the experiments going?

We're only on the verge of a major

scientific break-though.

Mmhmm...

So you say all this stuff's gonna help me

grow a bigger Johnson huh?

No dad, you don't get any.

Well I mean I've got a pretty good one now,

but uh,

I could stand to use another eight

or nine inches right?

Yeah...

I mean who couldn't? Right son?

But uh,

when you guys get rich and famous,

send over some of those hot ladies

you're always talking about

to your old man alright?

You don't get any of my rich guy p*ssy

when I'm rich, you're done with p*ssy.

Oh come on son,

now watch the language alright?

No!

We have to put a stop to Cockzantium.

Oh really?

I have a vision,

a dream of what could be

thanks to Cockzantium.

And I'm not just stroking egos here boy

we're creating a whole new world.

A utopian society where all men

are of equal value

and all women will tremble before the

might of our raging, throbbing, cockage.

Collective bonerage.

And all will be well,

and everyones cock will be sucked!

People are dying!

We have to put a stop to it.

No one's gonna stop anything ever again.

I've seen what Cockzantium can do.

We must thrust it upon every oraphus of

society immediately.

This remote will double penetrate

Cockzantium into the water supply.

Rendering huge boners,

raging c*cks...

Don't you do it!

But I must.

You don't have to!

I can't, but I will.

Why?

Because...

I was too late.

Hey this is Gina I'm not home right now

so leave a message and I'll call you back,

thanks.

Hey gina, it's Ludas,

I know we haven't talked in a while,

I just wanted to call and check up on you

see if you're doing good.

and I wanted to say that uh...

I just wanted to tell you,

I just, I wanted to tell you that,

that you're the most

beautiful girl in the whole world.

That I love you, I love you Gina, I love you.

Donald, No! I love you!

Oh my god!

They did it, they poisoned the water!

They did it, they poisoned the water!

Who did it? Who tainted the water?

It was me, I caused The Taint.

We should kill him.

You're a two faced snake!

Double-crosser.

You're gonna die two-face.

Do you know how much piss I'm gonna

have to drink because of you?

His punishment should fit the crime.

He can't be two-faced without a face.

That is the end of my story.

I caused The Taint

Why didn't they f***ing kill you

you f***ing lesbian?

You f***ing deserve to die

You think I don't know that?

I searched for a cure

But you wouldn't like what I found

My dreams are filled with terror

What fills your dreams with dread, Phil?

Nothing, nothing at all

Anderson, what the f***

you chubby piece of sh*t

keep your eye on the ball!

So what've you got for me today O'Ginny?

Wow.

Do you know what I think of this?

Do you know what I think of this

note from your doctor?

That's what I think of it you lazy b*tch.

Seriously,

what the f*** is wrong with you O'Ginny?

Gym,

it just ain't my subject.

Let's take a walk.

Phil.

Sandy.

Oh,

your shoes are looking good today.

Phil, um, I need to talk to you.

OK, what?

Um, not here.

Listen uh,

I think you just gotta let it go babe.

Phil we need to talk alone, now.

Ugh, god.

All you b*tches, all of em, all the time.

Always f***in' giving me sh*t and... f***.

Ugh... god.

Fine!

Lets f***in' uh...

Lets go!

Talk to you later.

Um can we go to your house ?

Sure, sure.

Listen Sandy, we're over.

We've been over for a long time now,

but if you want,

I'll f*** you.

Shut up.

I'm serious.

Yeah, no thanks.

So, Sandy,

what is the big deal?

What is this secret?

You love me ?

I'm pregnant.

With what?

Your baby a**hole!

But...

We can still can still f*** right?

F*** you.

Are you sure that it's?

Some of us don't sleep around.

I want an abortion.

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