The Taqwacores Page #2

Al-Hamdulilah.

Oh, peace.

Hello.

Hi, I'm Lynn, I'm a friend of Fasiq's.

I'm Yusef.

Nice to meet you.

Is he here?

Is who here?

Fasiq.

I don't know.

I think I don't think so actually.

That sucks, I just thought

I'd try and say hi.

Lynn!

- Jehangir!

- Salaam, how are you?

So what's the good word?

I'm just out for a jog.

You don't come around much?

I know. I've just been super

busy with summer classes.

But I hear you guys are

having Friday prayer now.

Yeaheveryone's taking turns leading.

It's beautiful, you gotta come out.

Oh yeah? Totally, I'm there.

Well, um, I better get back to

running but I'll see you guys soon.

Yeah, insh'Allah

- bye.

- Salaam sister.

Wa alaikum as-salaam.

What

Look at this.

I've got Omar's keys. Beer run?

You're frightening me!

You're crazy.

You give it a shot man.

Give what a shot?

Come on, yell something.

What?

Come on.

Here, up ahead. That old dude.

- What? No.

- Come on, don't be afraid.

Okay, okay. Uh.

Hurry up, hurry!

You make me really nervous!

What'd the guy do?

I don't think he understood

what's going on.

It's f***ing hilarious man.

What's up with that girl Lynn?

What do you mean?

I mean, like, is she a Muslim?

She is a convert.

Or revert as I'm supposed to say.

You know, a Catholic girl who loved

Rumi the whole idea of no priesthood.

One love. One God. All that sh*t, you know?

But I guess she kind of burnt out man.

So she's not a Muslim any more?

You'll have to ask her about that brother.

Here we go, right here.

- Right here? - Yeah yeah, pull over.

- Hold on, I have to signal.

Alright, you gotta signal.

- Right here, right here. Turn the corner.

- Hold on, let me signal. Let me signal.

My mom would be very proud of me right now.

- Why?

- Hanging out with a good boy like you.

Amazing Ayyub always hooks

up the free booze man.

Five bucks says he isn't wearing a shirt.

Give me some! Give me some!

I'm so f***ing happy you guys are here!

Get on it! Get on it! Get on it!

What the f*** are you fucks doing here man?

Well we're here to undermine the f***ing U.S.

Economy so fill her up mate! Fill her up!

Alright, I'll be right back.

Is it okay he jumped on the

Umar's not going to notice.

Shut the-dude, why do you worry so much?

Worrying is a sin.

Aren't you gonna get in trouble for this?

F*** this place man. I get more loot

giving hand jobs at Niagra Falls man.

Great. Umar's gonna kill me.

Dude, you want one?

- No. - Here. - No, I don't want it.

You're just a straight edge guy, huh?

You're just all nice and all.

You guys, I gotta give these cumbuckets

some gas, I'll be right back.

Asalaam. What do you guys want?

- A-Salaama-lick my balls mother f***er.

- What the f*** did you say.

Thank you, come again!

Stupid mother f***ers. F***ing Dickwads.

Oh sh*t, you didn't f***ing

kick my car mother f***er!?

Catch me!

The desire for freedom resides

in every human heart.

And that desire cannot be contained forever by

prison walls or Marshall laws or secret police.

Over time and across the earth,

freedo m will find a way.

Hey Yusef, is that you?

Uh, yeah.

Come in here a sec.

You want me to come into the room?

What the f*** do you think I

mean by, come in here a sec?

Okay.

Hey.

I like your room.

It's a ceiling and some walls.

Who's this?

Secret Trial Five. They're an all

girl taqwacore band from Vancouver.

So Lynn came by the other day.

She thinks you're cute.

Are you serious?

Yeah, I was kinda surprised too.

Anyways, do you like her?

Oh, I mean, she's nice and stuff.

But I don't know about liking girls and stuff like that.

What.

Okay, I mean, like, finding out

if someone likes you, and then

if you like them, and ask them if

they want to go to the movies ...

People don't do that any more Yusef.

What do you mean?

Basically, you just hang out with someone and then

sooner or later you hook up with that person.

And then one of the people gets jealous so you

decide to only hook up with each other and then.

Bam! You're in a relationship.

Oh.

Why don't you just, like hang out

with her and see what's gonna happen.

Okay. Cool. What's this?

What?

This. You, you crossed out a

whole ayat in the Qur'an.

Yeah, which one is that?

Let me see, um.

Four, Four-thirty four.

Right, I didn't need that one any more.

What, you just felt like you could cross out

the word of God? I mean, you can't do that.

Well that ayat advises men to beat their

wives so what do I need that for.

No, you can't do that. And most translators say that

it means to beat lightly and their's a story of Job

where he used a blade of grass.

Yeah, Yusef, I know. I read what all the

scholars said okay, even the progressives.

I did all the tap dancing around that

verse that a desperate Muslim could do.

And in the end, you know what I said?

I said f*** it. And now, I feel a

whole lot better about the Quran.

I mean it's kinda weird coming

from a girl in a burqa.

What about my burqa?

No, I mean I meant, uh, you know It must

be kinda hard to, like, read and stuff.

- That's it, that's all I

meant- Okay - in the burqa.

Here.

Came out wrong. Sorry.

Here. This is for you.

What am I supposed to do with this?

Uh, I don't know. Why don't you wear it?

Alright well don't expect me

to wear this thing around town

and like campus and stuff because

people are going to think I'm weird.

That's fair. Just so you have it.

Okay, well, al'hamdulilah.

Shut the door all the way.

Hey. Why does Rabeya wear that full burqa?

What do you mean?

I mean, it's not for sunna,

we know that much.

You ever have a day you didn't

want anybody looking at you?

You think that's why she wears it?

Hey, what the f*** is this?!

What?! What now?

This.

That's my Quran.

Yeah? What's it doing in the bathroom?

These are the words of Allah

Subhananahu Wa Ta'Ala

I left it there because

it's f***ing raining.

Weed's haram for a reason.

You do know that, right?

No, no, no, no. You see the Qur'an only forbids

alcohol, it don't say sh*t about weed.

Five-ninety man.

Two, two-one-nine.

That sh*t is khamr as anything else.

The bathroom is filthy.

Well the whole house is filthy.

Yeah. You know, yeah, you're right.You know, back when

Mustafa lived here it could have never looked like this.

No, let me tell you

something about Mustafa.

Back when Mustafa lived here Rabeya, could

never sit in the f***ing living room.

Hey, f*** off!

F***!

You know Umar just thinks I'm up here

getting faded, but I know my sh*t.

Here. In Suratual-Hijr.

Ayat 19 and 20.

Allah sent suitable things

to grow on the Earth.

And with him are the treasures

of everything in the world.

And he only sent them

down in a known measure.

This tells us that things from

nature are a blessing from Allah.

And that he only sent us what

we could handle. Embrace it.

Yo, you pumped up for tonight's party man?

Yeah.

Dude, I'm gonna get my

dick wet, you're gonna

get your dick wet.

It's gonna be f***in.

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