The Teahouse of the August Moon Page #9

Boss, they sure wish they could make some

money to spend in the teahouse, boss.

Because they not like

to go poor like beggar.

I know, I know.

See, he say, boss, it not your fault

no one buy souvenir.

Well, they going home

to get drunk now, boss.

You know, I don't blame them, Sakini.

If I could find something to drink...

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, folks.

What are they gonna get drunk on?

Oh, they got nothing but brandy, boss.

- Nothing but brandy?

- Nothing but brandy?

How are you gonna manage

to get brandy?

Oh, we make a very fine brandy, boss,

from sweet potatoes.

Been making for generations.

You make brandy yourself?

Yeah, sure, boss.

You want to taste some?

- Here you are, boss.

- Mac, Mac, my dear friend, Mac.

If this stuff is only halfway good, we're...

Oh, man, we're really in business.

This is one thing our men...

They'll buy this.

It may not be any good. You know,

some things even our troops won't drink.

- Well.

- Take a sip, boss.

I wanna smell it.

- Obviously it has a kick.

- Yeah.

How old is this stuff, Sakini?

- Seven years?

- No, seven days, boss.

Oh, no, no, I mean, it wouldn't

smell like that in seven days.

They make it last week, boss.

Here, you try it, will you, Mac?

You're a medical man.

- You give it a try.

- What?

- You first.

- No, you're my guest.

I waive the honor.

You know, anybody ever die

or go blind from this?

We not dead. We not blind.

- Of course not. You see? Come on, Mac.

- They've worked up an immunity.

You see, I don't wanna kill one of

my own countrymen, you know?

There must be some way to test this,

isn't there, without me...?

There isn't, huh?

Well.

Sakini, get me Elsa Maxwell.

- One goat coming up, boss.

- Elsa Maxwell. That's who we need.

That's Higa Jiga's goat, you know?

We'll test it on her, see?

Well, what are you gonna prove?

Goats have hardy stomachs.

No, look, if this brandy...

If this passes the goat test,

we're really in business, you know?

You know why? No Marine will ever admit

that his stomach is weaker than a goat's.

Hey, boss, you gonna make

a guinea pig of goat?

Yeah, give me something to put it in.

Anything at all will do.

- Helmet?

- That's fine. That's fine. That's just fine.

- Oh, Elsa Maxwell very lucky goat, boss.

- Easy, easy.

Hold her head, Sakini.

All right, doctor,

proceed in the name of science.

Take it easy. Take it easy.

We're either gonna have an industry

or goat meat for dinner.

- What are you doing?

- Oh, not too much.

She likes that.

Hey. Hey.

She all right? All right?

What do you think, doc?

It doesn't seem to affect her.

Reflexes okay.

Well, here goes.

Hey.

Where you going, boss?

I'm about to form the cooperative

brewing company of Tobiki.

Officers' Club at Awasi, please.

- We gonna make brandy, boss?

- I'll tell you in a minute.

Officers' Club at Awasi?

Captain Fisby speaking at Tobiki.

Yeah, oh, major? Major, this is Fisby.

Yeah, you know,

when I was with your unit...

...we had a hard time

keeping a supply of liquor at the club?

You remember? Yeah, well, major,

I think I have stumbled on to something...

...that might be of interest to you.

Yes, as you know, Tobiki

is the heart of the brandy industry.

Brandy! Did you say brandy?

Yes, brandy.

Look up the word sweet potato

in my dictionary.

See if there's a fancier word

for sweet potato.

Oh, I'm here, major, yes, here I am.

Yeah, now, look, major, I might be able

to supply some of that brandy to you...

...that is, of course, if you're willing to pay

the price and you keep the source secret.

Yes.

Oh, they've been making

it here for generations.

Oh, yes. As a matter of fact, I'm sure

you've never tasted anything quite like it.

Hold on a minute, major.

The Haitian name for sweet potato

is B-A-T-A-T-A, batata.

Major, you've heard of

Seven Star Batata, haven't you?

Oh, well, they make it here

in Tobiki. Yes.

Seven Star got him, I think.

Brandy eight- or ten-day-old, better.

Nine- or ten-day-old.

Major, we also have Eight Star Batata,

and we have Ten Star.

Of course, the Ten Star. Mind you,

that comes a bit more expensive. Yes?

That will run you...

...100-occupation yen a gallon.

Delivered.

Yes.

What? How many?

Five gallons. Yes.

Five gallons will be delivered

in one week.

It'll be delivered by

our Department of Agriculture.

Yeah, right. You're welcome, sir. Right.

All right. All right, let's...

Hello?

News kind of gets around fast, huh?

Hello?

GHQ.H... GHQ PX?

Yes. Yes.

- Thirty gallons?

- No.

COD?

Yes. Right.

It'll be there.

- Right. Thank you.

- Thirty gallons.

Let's go to work, huh?

I don't have to tell you.

Let's go to work.

Wait!

Wait.

Wait.

I've got my cricket.

Put a label on that one.

Seiko. Seiko, 15O more gallons

to the Naval Officers' Club, Big Koza.

COD. Take it away.

Yatoda!

Hey, Sakini, what are they doing here?

We're diverting water for a lotus pond.

Can't have a teahouse

without a pond.

Yeah, where's your goldfish?

You have a lotus pond,

you gotta have goldfish.

Hey, boss.

Everyone send me to bring you

to teahouse opening, boss.

Mac, look. Isn't that something?

This first-class, boss.

Hey, boy, that's really something, Sakini.

How about that?

- Well, come on, let's go.

- Lead on.

Okay.

Take shoes off, boss.

Thank you.

Good evening.

Boss, you sit here.

Lotus Blossom gonna dance in your honor.

Hey, Mac, you hear that?

She's gonna dance.

Come on. Sit down, Mac, you farmer.

This is in my honor.

How can I stall Purdy

so I can stay down here?

I'll have a relapse for you.

Chrysanthemum bud

in full bloom now, boss.

And now, happy birthday.

Very good.

Well, I'll be.

- How did you know?

- I gave you away.

Boss, now everyone like

to show appreciation, boss.

Happy birthday.

How very lovely you are.

And a happy, happy to you.

Yeah.

Oh, boss, you know what you do?

It called for flowers, sort of, you know?

That mean you give your heart to her.

Well, I do. We all do, huh?

Wasn't it beautiful, Mac?

She can dance

in my cha ya any day.

Pardon me, sir.

- Are you sure this is Tobiki village?

- According to the map, sir.

- The place seems deserted.

- There was a light over there.

Come on.

What? What is this?

Sakini, what do they want?

- They want you and doctor to sing song.

- Sing? No.

All right, come on, come on, Mac.

Come on, we're gonna sing something.

How about

"Deep in the Heart of Texas"?

Why not? There aren't any

Texans here are there?

We're gonna have some fun now.

Sakini, look. You know, I want...

They're gonna help. When we clap and sing

"Deep in the Heart of Texas," they join.

Oh, I know that song.

Very nice, boss. We demonstrate.

- What is it?

- Stars at night.

- Deep in the heart of Texas.

- Deep in the heart...

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Then we clap four times.

Hey, we're all ready. Hey, we're ready.

All right. You ready on the left?

Ready on the right. Here we go.

Yes, sir.

Captain Fisby!

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