The Titfield Thunderbolt Page #3

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(Whistle blows)

(Whistle blows)

Jolly good! Jolly good!

Hello, Mr Weech! Well done!

Hooray! Splendid!

Splendid!

(Brakes screech)

Oh! But it's beautiful!

Quite beautiful!

- Try it for height, Mr Valentine.

- Huh? Ha!

Most comfortable, my dear fellow.

Most comfortable. Congratulations!

Half an inch lower

than The Grasshopper.

Oh, I'm very adaptable.

The usual, please, Miss Hampton, dear!

- Right, take her out!

- (Whistle blows)

Hooray!

(All cheer) Hooray!

Hooray!

Stop it, William. We're the staff!

? All things bright and beautiful ?

?All creatures great and small... ?

(Whistle blows)

(Bleating)

? Each little flower that opens ?

? Each little bird that sings

? He made...glowing colours ?

? He made their tiny wings ?

(Whistle blows)

- I don't usually drink at this time.

- You've never had the chance before.

Indeed I have.

I keep a small stock in the house.

At nine o'clock in the morning,

it would never occur to me.

I should hope not, sir.

Drinking alone on unlicensed ground.

I'd hesitate to believe that

of a teetotaller.

- (Glass smashes)

- Good gracious!

- What's happened?

- It's all right.

They're stopping to take on water.

Right!

It's a little provoking

not having a supply at the sheds.

Dan! Dan!

Dan!

Dan, where are you?

- Dan!

- Just coming, Reverend!

- What have you been doing?

- Them that ask no questions...

What's that in your pocket?

I see! On the squire's land, too!

I suppose they were shot Sunday.

Never shot a rabbit on a Sunday,

may I drop down dead.

Trapped, then. What's the difference?

I shall report this.

Turn off, man!

If I'm going to do this job, I don't

let it interfere with my business!

This service will be efficient,

whether you like it or not...

Cheerio.

Come back! Come back!

We need you!

All right.

So long as we understand

each other, that's all.

Crossing ahead.

Look out your side.

(Blows whistle)

Stop!

The line's blocked! Stop!

(Brakes creak)

Hm?

- Get that off the track!

- What else are we trying to do?

You amateurs should keep the track

in good condition.

- We've a case against you.

- There's nothing wrong with it.

- This is deliberate.

- That's slander. Two cases.

Might have expected this.

How are we running?

On time.

That's what makes it criminal.

- We'll shift her ourselves.

- That's very kind of you, old man.

She's full of bricks!

That's done it.

I'll move her!

- You can't do that!

- Can't I?

- We'll have the law on you!

- Three cases.

- Stop him!

- You're insured, ain't ya?

- Stand clear!

- Go on, Reverend. Let her have it!

Come on, Reverend!

(Crump) Stop him!

Come on, Reverend. Let her have it!

Slam into her! Go on!

I say! Is this a normal hazard

of railway travel?

- We'd better get out of here.

- What? Yes.

Once more and she'll be through!

Hey, you! Hawkins!

Come on, as fast as you can!

Come on, Reverend.

Let him have it! Come on!

Go on, Jim!

Oh! A duel! How very delightful!

Get this off the track

or I'll never speak to you again!

- It's all yours!

- Don't you touch it.

I'm sorry, Mr Pearce.

My young lady doesn't like it.

One moment, Mr Weech,

your opponent is not quite ready!

No, no. Stop!

(Dong)

Hey! I'll do you for that!

(Dong)

Take that!

Right, come on! As fast as you can!

- Come along! Have at him!

- You're backing the wrong team.

That's your engine!

Cost you a packet!

Money is the curse of all modern

sport, sir. Roll on, my beauty!

Come on! Come on!

(Valentine) Come on! Come on!

(Dong)

Take that!

Well done, Sam.

All right, everybody. Back aboard!

Hooray, Reverend!

Come on, all aboard!

Oh, a foul, a foul.

A palpable foul.

(Whistle blows)

All aboard! Quickly!

(Whistle blows)

It was a foul, you know.

Make the cheque out

to the company!

(Smash)

Don't take is so bad, Harry.

You put up a good fight.

Ah!

Women!

(Gunshots on TV)

Oh, trains!

- Hawkins.

- Public bar.

'You had to hire a bunch of redskins

that couldn't stop a two-bit clock.

'You dumb palooka!'

'How was I supposed to know they

were toting guns on that choo-choo?'

'Scram, baby!'

'Let's put the freeze

on these alibis?'

- 'Grab, sister.'

- 'Thank you, handsome.'

Not today, thank you.

Let's not waste time

on recriminations.

- Thank you very much.

- No, no.

Now, how would you like an

opportunity to get your own back?

Carry on.

'Reckon you'd go in a big way

to put the fix on them steam cars?'

'Shoot, bub...!'

'..and as they come down...'

(Train approaching)

(Gunshot)

(Gunshot)

(Squawking)

- I got it. A pheasant.

- Don't you dare!

I got a pheasant, I tell ya.

I got a pheasant!

I've got him. Beauty, ain't he?

Fantastic(!)

Come along, man.

All right, all right.

Ain't he a beauty, eh'? Ha ha!

You've lost us nearly two minutes.

All right.

(Train approaching)

- You get up there.

- What, me?

Yes. I will operate the chain today.

Huh!

Sabotage!

- Nearly out. Drop the fire.

- Drop the fire?

Lose my honour as a driver?

Never!

Well, she'll blow up.

Water!

Quickly! All out!

Quickly, everybody.

Quickly, all out.

- What's up?

- No water.

All out, quickly!

Down to the river, everyone!

All out, everybody. Quickly, all out!

(Whistle blows faintly)

Beal's Farm.

Come on!

- Miss Hampton, dear. Manners!

- We're going to blow up.

Huh.

What?

Wines and spirits first.

Sorry, ma'am. Engine's going up!

(Whistle blows)

She'll go any minute now!

What are you doing there?

- Taking cover.

- Give us a hand!

I didn't pay my fare

to become a beast of burden.

Ah! Right!

- She'll do!

- Hooray!

- She'll do!

- Hooray!

All aboard!

Up you come, Reverend.

Well done, Dan.

Ready!

Ready!

Titfield! One can't open a paper

without reading about Titfield.

They're making a go of it,

aren't they?

I'll answer that when I've made

my inspection next Tuesday.

Popularity does not imply efficiency.

With all these visitors

drinking up my quota,

I haven't got enough left

for my regulars.

We might reserve the buffet car

for our local passengers.

I doubt if we have the legal right.

I don't intend asking Mr Blakeworth.

Any more weeks like this last one,

we'll be running at a profit!

Excuse me, sir.

We ARE running at a profit.

This is dreadful! The next thing

we know we shall be nationalised.

(Excited chatter)

(Whistle blows)

Blimey! Need the Royal Scot

to move this lot!

(Cheering)

(Whistle blows)

(Clamour of voices)

(Valentine) Excuse me. Pardon.

May I trouble you, sir?

I'm afraid you have my corner.

Your corner?

You think you own the ruddy railway?

Yes.

Can I give you a hand,

Mr Chesterford?

Don't tell me

you've caught railway fever?

My partner and I are impressed

with the business you're doing.

- I bet you are.

- That inspector is coming tomorrow.

- I'm sure he'll be impressed, too.

- Let's hope so.

That doesn't mean he'll grant you

a permanent license.

We'll see.

He'd be certain to grant it,

were there no longer

any alternative transport.

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