The Toxic Avenger: The Musical Page #10
- Year:
- 2018
- 1,081 Views
a voice that said unto me,
"Melvin Ferd III, you
have been chosen to go to
"every politician and corporate
executive on this Earth
"and see the good inside of them.
"And with compassion, and with hope,
"and with love, you must convince them
"to stop polluting our planet!"
- Yes!
- "And fouling our air!"
- That's right!
- "And to end global warming!"
(cheering)
- Wait but, what if they don't listen?
- "Then Melvin," the voice said unto me.
"You must rip their frickin' heads off!"
(cheering)
(audience applauding)
(mumbling)
- One more mum!
Come on
Double (mumbles) up her hair
The experts think we'll all be dead
But they don't know
we're here to fight
Corporations are full of the beans
A hurricane wiped out New Orleans
And there's just one guy
who can make things right
He used to be weak and shy
But now he takes command
Oh god how I love my macho monster man
It's a brand new day in New Jersey
And there's new air in the sky
We can breath now in New Jersey
So you won't catch cancer and die
No you won't catch cancer and die
(patriotic music)
(audience cheering)
(audience applauding)
- Ladies and gentlemen,
what a year it's been!
The voters of the greatest
state in the world have spoken,
so please welcome your new First Lady,
and the author of the
Oprah Book of the Month,
All Men are Freaks, and
your new governor, my baby,
representing the Green Party, governor,
and Mrs. Toxie Ferd III!
(audience cheering)
(energetic music)
The first bill that I plan to pass
Pollute the Earth,
and I'll kick your ass
And that seems like a
damn good place to start
Oh yeah, whooo
The second thing and this I mean
Love your brother,
be he brown or green
Or I will rip your face apart
Right apart
Together we will turn this
state into a promised land
And you and I will
walk hand in slimy hand
It's a brand new day in New Jersey
We got everything we want
No more garbage in New Jersey
Cause we dumped it in Vermont
Yeah, we dumped it in Vermont
- F*** you Vermont!
(chattering)
(audience applauding)
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day
(giggling)
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day in New Jersey
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day in New Jersey
It's a brand new day
(clapping)
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day in New Jersey
It's a brand new day
A revolution
It's a brand new day
Evolution
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day in New Jersey
It's a brand new day
A revolution
It's a brand new day
Evolution
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day in New Jersey
(audience applauding)
New Jersey!
(dramatic music)
(audience cheering)
(audience applauding)
(energetic music)
(audience applauding)
It's a brand new day
(clapping)
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day in New Jersey
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day in New Jersey
Jersey!
(dramatic music)
(audience cheering)
(audience applauding)
(folksy guitar music)
Let me tell you a story about
A man with a strange complexion
he made a love connection
By day, he had a girl who
baked him homemade breads
By night, he roamed the streets
And ripped off people's heads
This is the legend
He's the legend
The legend of the Toxic Avenger
At first, the folks were sure
he'd kill them all one day
But then their crime went
down and the freak seemed okay
Prince William and Kate
He put the garden back
in the Garden State
This is the legend
He's the legend
The legend of the Toxic Avenger
Oh he's the legend
He's the legend
Oh he's the legend
Hot dang the legend
So tell your children about the legend
You tell your children's children
You tell your children's
children chldren
Have your children tell their friends
And their friends tell other friends
Make some calls, write some letters
Go on Facebook, tweet on Twitter
Go on LinkedIn, don't do
MySpace, no one goes there
Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na, na-na, oh oh
Clap with me, clap with
me, clap with me, take it
Clap with me, clap with me
(screechy harmonica music)
(energetic folk music)
- [Mayor] Just f***ing finish it!
0 fans
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"The Toxic Avenger: The Musical" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_toxic_avenger:_the_musical_21491>.
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