The Trip to Italy Page #6

I've got a moral compass.

- Oh, yes,

you have a moral compass.

it's just you don't know

where it is.

Grazia.

Pnego.

Hello.

- Hey.

How's it going?

- Great, great.

We're a bit-

Well, it's all right.

We're a bit lost.

- Oh, dear.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

I am just calling to remind you

that I'm coming out tomorrow...

- Oh, great.

That's good.

- With Yolanda,

the photographer.

- What, the same photographer

as last time?

Yeah, um...

Is-is that okay?

- Uh...

Well, who booked her?

- I don't know.

I think it was The Observer.

Is that a problem?

Because I could always

try and change it.

No, no, that would be rude.

No, just-we'll-

I'm sure it'll be fine.

All right, great.

Good for you.

All right, well, listen...

I'll see you tomorrow.

Can't wait.

- All right, lovey.

Take care. Ta-ra.

So the photographer

who's coming tomorrow

is the same one...

we had last time.

Really?

- Yeah.

Yolanda.

Oh, the one you slept with?

- Yeah.

- Oh.

Is that gonna be awkward?

Be interesting.

How do you do it?

Just take your trousers off.

Serious question.

- And your underpants,

socks optional.

- I'm seriously asking you,

how do you do it?

it's reputation.

You're famous.

No.

Although

I don't see any reason to not

use everything

you've got in your arsenal.

People say, "She only slept

with you 'cause you're famous. "

You say,

'Well, she only slept with you

"'cause you're good-looking

and young. "

Wow.

Look at that.

Isn't that beautiful?

- Yeah.

- So you have reserved

the Duke of Genoa suite

and the Napoleon suite.

Which is bigger?

Oh, both are very nice.

- Yeah?

- Yes.

- I think I should have

the Napoleon.

If it's based on height.

Or complex.

This is your sitting room.

Right-.

And this is your bedroom.

Mm.

You have a beautiful view.

- Wow.

That is, uh...

That's stunning.

Yeah.

I'm going to show your friend

his room.

- Okay.

Of course.

I like your uniform.

You look like an air stewardess.

- That's-

that's in a good way.

Eh.

You're a dick.

- Hi, Rob?

It's Donna.

Pm just calling

to check you got my email

with the script pages.

No, uh, I haven't.

What is it?

What's the part?

it's a really good part.

it's a supporting role,

but you're gonna be great in it

because it's very sympathetic,

and people will-

will love you in it, really.

You'll be playing an accountant

for the mob.

- Oh, brilliant.

All right.

Um, comedy?

- No.

It's a thriller.

- Really?

Why me?

You're perfect for the part.

You look like an accountant.

And also, you're totally unknown

in America,

which is what they want.

Uh-huh, yes, very good.

- Yes, you've got

to put yourself on tape

and email me.

Yeah, I can do that.

I can have it with you

by tomorrow.

Che belle palazzo.

It's the sort of place

that Byron would have rented.

Mm.

Ciao. Buona sera.

Buona sera.

Buona sera.

She's got a lovely gait.

Probably padlocked.

Oh, yes.

You know, there's very little

separating "Byron"

from "Brydon. "

- Yeah.

- Just a D.

That's all there is.

Yeah.

But the almost anagram

of your names is the only thing

that you really share, isn't it?

Because what Byron represented

is probably

the antithesis of you, because

he was shaking the tree

from the word "go"

to when he popped his clogs,

and that ain't you, mate.

- So we'll go

no more a-roving I'

J "J"

So late into the night 1'

When I imagined

where we'd be ten years ago,

this is what I wanted.

I love you.

I love Izzy.

I love this house.

You know?

You know.

You know.

You know.

You know.

You-you know. You know.

You know!

You know.

L' And the heart 1'

Must pause to breathe I'

And love itself 1'

You know, I-I-I love you.

And Izzy and the house, but-

but now-now we have it,

and I-I-

you know,

there's too much going on.

Famous claustrophobic.

Uh, there's too much going on.

I can't just close the door

and leave it behind, you know?

My head has to be out there.

I think it's very unlikely

you'll get this part,

and you have to come to terms

with this, I'm afraid.

it's very unlikely.

I know.

Well, why you bother, then?

Oh, you know, give it a go.

But I think it's very unlikely.

I know.

Well, why are you doing it?

Why are you doing it,

you f***ing idiot?

'Cause I think I might get it.

I think it's very unlikely

that you'll get it.

Why?

Because you are

an inferior talent.

- For you, sir.

- Grazia mille.

- Prego.

- Grazia.

Pnego, sir.

Sleep well last night?

Yeah. Like a baby.

I didn't.

Up worrying all night.

. Why?

- Been sent a script

for an American film.

Got to put it on tape,

get it back to them today.

What's the part?

- The lead

in a Michael Mann film.

What?

- Really?

- Yeah.

Well, it's a mafia film.

One of-one of-

one of the leads.

He's sort of

an easily led sort of guy

who gets killed

at the second act.

But you're Welsh.

- Lot of similarities between

the Welsh and the Italians.

You know that.

- No, there aren't.

- Yes, there are.

Both love singing,

both short and swarthy,

both love ice cream.

There's loads of Italians

in Wales

who run ice cream parlors.

Are you-are you-

are you winding me up?

No.

So will you help me

with the audition later?

- it's just an-

it's just an audition.

it's not an offer, is it?

- No, I've got

to put myself on tape.

So will you help me?

- Help you

and read the other part?

- No, Alba's gonna read

the other part.

' Who?

- Alba.

The receptionist.

- She's gonna read

the other part?

- Yeah.

It's a woman's part-.

How'd you wrangle that?

I asked her.

We rehearsed last night.

She'll read.

I just need you

to hold the camera.

A nice shot.

You're back?

Working late-sorry.

You want a drink?

I was already in bed.

Long night.

When I used to imagine

what we'd be doing

ten years ago...

She'd be at school.

This is it.

I love you.

I love Izzy.

I love this house.

But now that we got it,

I can't enjoy it.

There's too much going on

out there.

My head has to be out there.

Why don't we just get away,

go to the lake house,

just a few days,

like we used to?

I can't right now.

Mm.

That's, um...

Do you want to do it like that?

Why not?

- I think a sprinkling

of Al Pacino

would be good, but you-

but do you really want

to be doing an impersonation?

I want to do it like this.

- Mind you, they might not

recognize who you're doing,

so there might be some method

in your madness.

Well, I'm a method actor.

There is method in my madness!

That is Al!

Al Pacino.

Not what I was doing!

Right, shall we do it again,

Mr. Kubrick?

Alba, when Rob kisses you,

you look very uncomfortable.

- No. I'm happy.

- Yeah?

I'm comfortable.

- Okay. Great.

Whenever you're ready.

J "J"

J' I'm broke, but I'm happy

I'm poor, but I'm kind

I'm short, but I'm healthy

Yeah

J "J"

I'm high, but I'm grounded

- J' I'm sane,

but I'm overwhelmed

I'm lost,

but I'm hopeful

Baby

And what it all

comes down to

Is that everything's gonna be

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