The Trip to Spain Page #4

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- In my country when such an offer is made

it is traditional to turn

the plate 'round twice

and replace it on the table.

- Come, come, Mr. Bond,

you enjoy the scallop

just as much as I do.

Please, eat.

- Bottoms up.

- Goodbye, Mr. Bond.

Mr. Bond, goodbye.

- You should pay more

attention to your chef.

He's working for Her Majesty's government.

- Starter for 10, what

is the Camino de Santiago?

- Um.

- No?

The pilgrims' route to

Santiago to Compostela,

where Saint James is

supposed to be buried.

Became the most important

destination for Christians

after Rome and Jerusalem.

- I meant only to the ultimate

pilgrimage, to see the pope.

I went there with Philomena.

I introduced Philomena to the pope.

- And we welcome Philomena

back into the conversation.

It's been a good five to six minutes

since he last brought it up.

But no, no, go on, always nice to hear.

- Well, I mean, you know.

- So you were there for what?

For the Cannes publicity tour?

- I can't pretend it's not

been a significant part of

my life, but there you go.

- I can't pretend it's not

been a significant part

of this bloody journey.

- Ah.

- This is nice, isn't it.

- Wonderful.

- Lovely.

- You look like the man

who'd follow James Bond,

not at a distance, in one

of the Sean Connery films.

- One of the early films.

- Who would never say anything

- Yes, yes.

- He'd never speak, mysterious

- Sinister figure.

- Sinister figure following him, yeah.

- Sos del Rey Catolico,

now what does that mean?

- Ah, del rey, is the

reign, the Catholic reign,

so it's the sos of the Catholic king,

because that's where King

Ferdinand was born, here.

- Right here.

- Right here, well not here,

but, you know, 'round here.

- He introduced the Spanish Inquisition?

- Yes, indeed.

- Are you sure about that?

- He was a catalytic converter, in a way.

- Very good, you're on fire.

- Cheers.

- You'd actually make a very

good Inquisitor, I think,

for the Spanish Inquisition.

Don't take this the wrong way.

- No.

- You have an inquisitive nature.

- Mind, I have an inquisitive mind, yeah.

- And you have a cruel side,

you do have a cruel side.

- There's not really, well,

it's certainly a short leap

isn't it, from curiosity

to, uh, murderous intent.

I mean, uh, I mean,

it's quite a large leap.

- It's a very large leap.

- It's a big leap.

If I was questioning you

and you were on the rack,

I'd start out with some

simple questions like,

I'd just say, okay, just warm yourself up.

Just give me a name, address,

tell me what you had for breakfast.

- Rob Brydon, London.

- Yeah, and what'd you have for breakfast.

- Scrambled eggs.

- Lovely stuff, okay.

Uh, Rob...

- Ks that 'm?

Can I go now?

- No, no, no.

Gonna ask you a few more questions.

Just, uh, just take it easy.

- I can't, it's really hurting

- What is your favorite kind of music?

- Bruce Springsteen.

- Okay, all right, okay.

- Is that is?

- No, no, no.

No, no, no, how many BAFTAs have you won?

- What?

- How many BAFTAs have you won?

- I can't hear you.

- Okay, okay, just give

it another notch, guys.

How many BAFTAs...

- I've a Welsh one.

I've got a Welsh one.

- Well, one Welsh BAFTA.

Thank you, you see how easy that was?

You see how easy it was

to answer the question?

Okay, now...

- I've been nominated seven

times for the normal ones.

- I didn't ask you that.

Notch, give him another notch.

How tall is he?

Five 8 1/2.

- Ooh, really?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Ooh, ooh.

- That's not bad, eh?

Okay, one more question that

you won't want to answer,

because we're trying to

get you up to five-nine.

I'm on your side here.

Do you want to quit at

five-eight, five 8 1/2,

or do you want to go for five-nine?

- I'll go for five-nine!

- He's gonna go for the five-foot-nine!

Okay, one more question.

- Oh, sh!

- Rob.

- Yeah.

- Do you believe

in the Lord God Almighty?

- I'd rather not say.

Get him a couple notches.

And we're at five-nine.

- Oh, thanks.

- Five-nine, let him go.

You leave here as a five-foot-nine

man, congratulations.

- Thank you, Steve.

Oh, I've hit my head.

- I'm sorry for the pain.

There you go, that's gonna be a problem

you're gonna have to contend with now,

and you shall have to let

your trousers down, too.

Ladies and gentlemen, Rob Brydon.

' Oh-ah!

- This is the area

Terry Gilliam was in

when he was trying to do Don Quixote.

- Lost in La Mancha is the documentary

about his failure to do so.

- It's a show I would like to do

about La Mancha.

- Lost in La Mancha?

Oh, Man of La Mancha?

- Man of La Mancha

is the stage musical.

It might be my next theatrical venture.

- Really?

- Yes.

You get to sing The Impossible Dream.

Given that this is Rioja,

I would've thought we'd

see a lot more vines.

- It's of no interest

to me these clays, Rob,

because I no longer drink alcohol.

- I like wine, I like Rioja.

What's with all the dinosaur signs?

- I suppose there's lots of dinosaurs

that used to live 'round here.

- I say we visit, because

Chloe loves dinosaurs.

- Who's Chloe?

My daughter.

- Oh.

- I'm gonna put my boots on.

- Your boots on?

- Yeah.

Dusty.

- We're gonna go in there?

- Love these boots.

- Yeah, no, they're

good intermediate walking shoes,

those, but you couldn't touch Crampons,

if there was any ice.

- I don't plan to go on any ice.

- No one plans for ice, Rob.

You gotta be prepared

if some suddenly appears.

You see?

They're not very good

for scree work either.

You just gotta be decisive

about where you put your feet,

that's all.

- Do a picture of

me with the dinosaur.

- Which one's the dinosaur?

Okay, uh, seeing as the dinosaur's doing

a McCartney-style thumbs up,

then why don't you mimic that?

- Hey, rock-and-roll.

I mean, Ringo, he was actually

a good drummer, you know.

What's that dinosaur called?

- Barney.

- No, it's a T. Rex.

- It's actually not, it's a Iguanodon.

- How do you know?

- Throw the phone?

Because Chloe is an expert.

- Well, tell me this.

Why have they changed the name

of a Brontosaurus to a Brachiosaurus?

No one else have given me

an adequate explanation.

- Brontosaurus which would

previously roam the lands.

- Who's that?

- It's John Hurt.

- That's not John Hurt.

- Who is it then?

- I don't know, but if

you're gonna do John Hurt,

you have to, um...

The Brachiosaurus would

once roam the land,

the king of all it surveyed.

- That's a very good John Hurt.

- King of all he surveyed.

It's a combination of him as

Quentin Crisp and Caligula in I, Claudius.

- Why are you standing?

- You can go away now, Rob.

I was thinking of killing

you, but I've changed my mind.

So does Chloe know

about the different, uh,

prehistoric periods.

- Yep-

Well, you know, she, not to where

she could sit an exam.

- Does she know Triassic,

Jurassic, Cretaceous?

- She knows some of

those, she knows the words.

I'm not gonna pretend that

she could give a lecture.

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