The Trouble with Bliss Page #4

- You stick to it.

- Yeah, right.

I mean, just... your word.

- I don't understand these...

- Jesus.

This is your one warning:

Leave or suffer.

Hey, who the hell are you?

You guys can't be in here.

This place is off limits.

We've been breached.

Excuse me?

Remember the Maine.

It's the Alamo, dumb-ass!

- Let's just crack some heads.

- Ignition!

Ow! Ahh! Mother of God!

I'm out of here, Jetski!

I hear you. Sweet baby Judas!

The place is gonna burn down.

Oh, no, they won't be so lucky.

Burning to death would be a

blessing to those people.

Be the only way to

get rid of the smell.

Ohh! You know what?

I'm calling the cops, get 'em

to crack down on this sh*t.

Wait, Bliss.

I have an idea.

There's three kinds of trouble:

There's regular trouble,

real trouble,

and then there's the

trouble that you're in.

No, you listen. I'm

not talking to you,

but if I was talking to you,

I would tell you how ridiculous

you look in this picture!

There is a reason muscle shirts

are called muscle shirts.

It's because you're supposed

to have muscles to wear them.

My grandmother had

bigger arms than you.

Where did you get this?

What do you mean,

where did I get it?

It's my dad's.

You know... your old high

school buddy, remember?

Oh, by the way, my

mom is just thrilled

that you're taking me to prom.

You told her?

Of course I told her.

I mean, I didn't tell her

who, but, yes, I told her.

Prom is a big deal.

It's like... a wedding.

But she said I couldn't go.

Uh, well, that's unfortunate.

Not until I ask my dad.

Not really until they meet you.

Which is kind of funny,

being that you're friends

with my dad and all.

Do you like chicken?

That's all my mom

knows how to make.

It might be better if you

just eat before you show up.

Look, Stephanie,

we need to talk.

Okay.

Well, I was talking

to my friend N. J. , and...

- And... ?

- And he said I should...

What?

He said I should...

That I should find out what color your

prom dress is gonna be so I could...

pink.

Pink. It's my favorite color.

Pink.

There's a lot of things

you've got to learn about me.

One of 'em is that...

I get really pissed off when you

don't answer my phone calls.

I gotta go.

Trip.

Monday. Stromboli.

Don't forget.

Right.

Monday.

Damn it, Morris!

Whoa!

Ohh! It's me, daddy.

Wah... I know it's

you, goddamn it.

You scared me.

Where are you... ?

I don't want to know.

I'm helping out a friend.

Great.

Making a choice.

Stay low, Professor.

Keep your head down.

- Stephen, where are you?

- It's the Axe. Call me the Axe.

- Axe?

- I'm over here.

- Where?

- Here.

Get down, Professor.

We're covert, remember?

Oh, God, I hate heights.

I'm having second thoughts

about this, Professor.

Maybe I should have

called the cops.

We can do this, Axe.

We're the Battle Eagles,

remember?

The Bloody Eagles.

I'm freezing up, Professor.

I don't know if I can

go through with this.

You made a commitment. You've

got to follow through.

Just find your inner strength,

just like that time you

killed that rat with a mop.

You didn't freeze up

then, did you?

You followed through.

I told you about that?

I told you about the rat?

Let's go over the plan again.

Wait. When did I

tell you about the rat?

Hey. We're the Bloody

Eagles, right?

Right. Let's do this.

- Let's do it!

- Yeah!

This is bullshit.

They're not coming!

Yeah, we've been waiting here for

something like 12 hours straight.

- I'm hungry.

- No, they're coming.

They're not coming.

They pussed out, the big...

What was that?

It's them.

No cops sound like that.

That sound was like...

It sounds like revenge! Aahhh!

Professor, I'm down.

Unh!

Aah!

Remember the Alamo, a**holes!

Goddamn it, Professor!

We did it!

Bloody Eagle, baby!

Taste our talons!

My wife was the first

woman I had sex with.

Can you believe that,

Professor?

The first,

and probably the last.

She got pregnant that

first time we did it,

middle of senior year.

What are the odds of that?

When I'm lucky...

It's always with bad luck.

Oh, man.

You should see my daughter.

She's a beauty, but...

I just don't feel the same

about her anymore, you know?

It's like...

It's like she's

all grown up, you know?

Right.

Fathers and daughters.

It's not the same as

fathers and sons. It's...

Fathers and sons.

You ever...

What?

You ever felt that

you were waiting?

Waiting?

Waiting on what?

I don't know. Just... something.

Anything.

It's like at the end

of Moby Dick,

when Ishmael is out there

in the middle of the ocean...

with nothing. Just...

waiting for something

to come along and save him.

What the hell are you

talking about, Bliss?

I don't know, man.

Just talkin'.

So what happens?

When?

With this guy.

The guy in the middle

of the ocean. I mean...

Is he saved?

Yeah, he's saved.

By his best friend's Coffin.

Damn, Bliss.

What's wrong with you?

You know what you

need, Professor?

- What?

- You need...

Some woman action.

You got a girlfriend,

Professor?

You need a girlfriend.

I should get goin'.

You hungry? You want

to have breakfast with me?

You want to grab some breakfast?

I'd like to have breakfast with you.

I'd love to, but I can't.

It's Sunday morning.

What do you got?

Church.

Well, Stephen, it's been good.

Hey.

- It's Axe.

- Right.

And no, Professor,

it's been great, man.

It's been great!

You don't think

that sh*t matters?

You've got a lot to learn

about this business.

Things don't happen

like you see on TV.

Life isn't that pretty.

Sh*t happens, and then

you're pushing 40,

some more sh*t happens,

and you're pushing 70,

then some more sh*t happens

and you're dead!

Most of this sh*t

is just sh*t...

day-to-day bullshit that doesn't

add up to much of anything.

- You think... ?

- Forget it.

Thank you all so much

for your comments.

- I'm sure that our time...

- Even talking about salsa gives me cramps.

Thank you.

I'm available any time you need

me for one of these things,

especially if we actually

get to eat some...

Thank you, Duly noted.

So, uh, Morris, um...

You gonna get some dinner?

Uh, no, I was just

gonna head home.

Oh. Good. Me too.

We can share a cab, right?

Sure.

There you go.

And keep the change.

I got it, I got it.

Thanks.

Uh, right, I was thinking,

uh, I don't want

to go home yet.

- Well...

- Drink, right?

Uh, sure. There's a

place right down there.

Oh, right.

Hey, I was wondering

if you could help me.

You see, my friend Morris,

he lives in the building.

Your friend?

Yeah, my friend.

Cheers. Thanks

for the focus group.

Tell me something interesting,

something about yourself

that few people know.

Well... I'm half Greek.

Mmm. I knew there was

a reason I liked you.

Mediterranean men know how

to handle women right.

You have a way with women.

Tell me something else.

Tell me a story.

Tell me about

your first concert.

My first concert? My first

concert was Liberace.

Right, right.

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