The Trouble with Harry Page #5

one for the beer can|and one for Harry.

- How about the rabbit?|- And one for the ra...

What's the matter?

- What's wrong? What's bitten you?|- I only fired three bullets.

Three! One for the shooting sign,|one for the beer can -

And one for the little man|who's lying in the grave.

No, Sammy, no. That's just it.|One for the rabbit.

If I shot the rabbit,|I didn't shoot Harry.

Oh, Sammy boy, what have you|tried to make me do?

Tried to make a murderer out of me.

Well, don't sit there. Help me!|You helped bury him.

Even if you didn't kill him, why dig|him up now that he's nicely planted?

I promised Jennifer|that we'd bury him.

Keep my word, he should stay buried.

Besides whether you killed him|or not, you've incriminated yourself.

You'll have more of a job explaining|a body that you didn't kill and bury,

than a body that you accidentally|killed and buried, right, Captain?

You're not supposed to bury bodies|whenever you find them.

It makes people suspicious.

Supposed to tell the police|or advertise or something.

Oh, Sammy, you don't understand.|You don't comprehend one bit.

You wouldn't like me to go through|life not knowing if I've killed him?

Very inconsistent. First, you tell me|you've got no conscience.

Now you talk about something that|sounds remarkably like a conscience.

Oh, Sammy, come on. Help me.

I don't care if I killed him or not,|for all that matters.

But I'll get the shakes|whenever I see a policeman.

All right.

If I had my choice, I'd rather be|thought a murderer than proved one.

Thank you. With two of us digging,|we'll have Harry out in nothing flat.

Can't see much from here. I'd better|get in down there and look at him.

- Let me do the honours.|- OK, Sammy. You've got good eyes.

Hey, that isn't a bullet wound.

Isn't a bullet wound?|Well, what d'ya know.

That's what they call a blow|with a blunt instrument.

Huh? What are you thinking, Sammy?

I think, Captain Wiles,|we're tangled up in a murder.

Murder? If it's murder, who done it?

- Who did it?|- That's what I say, who done it?

Apart from Jennifer Rogers,|who else'd want to kill him?

Apart from Jennifer?

- Yeah. Do you think that she would -|- Oh, it's ridiculous.

You said she was surprised to see|the body when she came up here.

You said she hit him on the head.

Coming home from Madagascar once,|we had a fireman on board

who hit his head on a brick wall|and died two days later.

Where could he find a brick wall|on board a ship?

Hmmm, that's what we always wondered.

Couldn't have been Jennifer. No.

Besides, what's it matter who did it?

It'll be better for all of us|if he's buried and out of the way.

Nothing doing. I'm not burying|someone else's bad habits.

Hmm? Suppose it was Miss Gravely?

What?

No, it's not as funny as all that.

You said yourself she wasn't|particularly startled

to see you dragging Harry|up the path.

You artists have got no idea|of etiquette.

She is a lady of gentle habits and|upbringing who hides her feelings.

If I wasn't holding Harry's ankles,|she'd have never mentioned him.

Really?

When she said...

'What seems to be the trouble,|Captain?',

it was nothing more|than a pleasantry, so to speak.

Like, 'Nice day, isn't it?' 'I'm|sure, yes. ' Or something like that.

Going to help me bury him again?

Um... I don't know.

'Course, it might have been|Dr Greenbow or the tramp.

- Or Jennifer?|- I told you it couldn't...

Well, no point in arguing about it.|Let's get rid of him.

OK. You helped me in my hour of need.|I guess it's up to me to help you.

We'll file Harry away|once and for all.

No more nonsense about it.

Come aboard, Miss Gravely,|come aboard.

It's just an old salt's|snug anchorage.

Small, not palatial like yours,|But homely, very...

Won't you sit down, Miss Gravely?

Thank you.

It's funny. Funny how we got to be|so friendly in one afternoon.

I knew you weren't as prim|and starchy as they made out. No.

Not by a long shot.

- Really?|- No.

I'm a man who can recognise|the human qualities in a woman.

When I first saw you|down where Harry was -

- Captain Wiles.|- Yes, ma'am?

Before you make your kind thoughts|known to me,

I should like to offer you some|explanation of my sudden invitation

to coffee and blueberry muffins|this afternoon

and my...|and my sitting with you here now.

No, ma'am,|you don't have to explain anything.

You came to my aid at a moment of|crisis, for which I'm truly grateful.

Thank you, but it's just that|I owe you some reason.

No, no, no.|I won't hear a word of it.

You saw the predicament I was in|with that body on my hands

and you shut your eyes to it in a|most sporting fashion, if I say so.

- Captain Wiles.|- Yes, ma'am?

I'm trying to tell you the reason|I asked you to coffee and muffins.

It was because... I felt -

- Sympathy.|- Gratitude.

Gra...? But I'm the one|who should be grateful.

No, I was grateful.|I... I am grateful.

I'm grateful to you|for burying my body.

Your body?

The man you thought you killed...

was the man I hit over the head with|the leather heel of my hiking shoe.

You?

And with a metal cleat|on the end of it.

But why?

He annoyed me.

I was walking towards home when he

suddenly came at me|with a wild look in his eye

and insisted...

- we were married.|- Oh, you knew each other before.

Believe it or not, I had never|seen him before in my life and...

if I ever had,|I never would have married him.

He must have mistaken you|for someone else.

Oh, no, he very definitely|pulled me into the bushes.

- Yes?|- I came out again.

Go on.

He pulled me back.

Twice.

He swore at me,|horrible, masculine sounds.

- I didn't understand it, of course.|- Of course you didn't.

- We fought.|- Then what?

I won. My shoe had come off|in the struggle, and I hit him.

I hit him as hard as ever I could.

You killed him.

I must have done it.|I was annoyed, Captain.

- Very annoyed.|- Naturally.

I don't think|I've ever been so annoyed.

Consequently, I... I didn't|realise my own capabilities.

Whew! Seems to me...

Mrs Rogers knocked him silly,|and you finished him off.

Why should Mrs Rogers|knock him silly?

She was really his wife.

Poor woman.|I thought she had better taste.

You know, Captain,

when I ran away I decided I would|never tell a soul what had happened.

Then I met you, and I thought...

how convenient it was that you|should think that you had shot him.

- Forgive me for thinking that.|- Only natural.

That's why I felt... I still feel|under an obligation to you.

Oh, not at all. Let's forget it.

Oh, no, we mustn't do that.|It would hardly be fair to you.

For you to go through life knowing|you had buried a man you didn't kill.

You would have my crime|on your conscience.

It's a pleasure,|I'm sure.

But no.

Now I realise that Harry man|was out of his mind,

and my action was justifiable,

there's no reason we shouldn't let|the authorities know about it.

- The authorities?|- Everything will be cleared up.

I'm sure Calvin Wiggs and the police

won't make a fuss about it|when we explain.

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