The Truth About Cats & Dogs Page #5

What do you think of that?

What do I think?

Yes.

It's nice.

Mm?

- It's kind of dark.

- Yes. You know...

...I was in a dark mood that day,

when I took that.

If you'd let me,

I'd really like to take your picture.

Maybe tonight.

Maybe.

Or whenever.

This stuff's left over from a shoot that I did.

- I hope you like sweets cos that's all there is.

- (shrieks)

I don't eat that stuff.

I order it, but I can't eat it.

Of course you can. You take it

one bite at a time and it all goes down.

- No.

- No, really.

What I'd forgive of myself

If you don't go

- Mmm.

- Is that nice?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

(muffled) That is so good. More?

- Ready?

- Mmm.

I know the way these things begin

But I don't know

How I would live with myself

What I would give of myself

If you don't go

- No more?

- You see what you did?

It won't do

To dream of caramel

To think of cinnamon

I've got something for you. I forgot.

(radio plays "You Do Something To Me"

by Paul Weller)

- It's a book.

- Yeah.

It's the letters Simone de Beauvoir

wrote to Sartre.

What? You haven't got it already, have you?

No, I don't have it already. It's just that, um...

...no one's ever given me a book before

that didn't have pictures in it.

Well, I'm glad you like it.

I love it!

Wow, I mean...

It's, um...

- A book.

- A book!

It's funny how self-conscious we both are,

considering...

What do you mean, self-conscious?

I mean...

...you have to admit you're not the same

person you were on the phone last night.

- That's true.

- Why?

Is it because we did...?

It's because I'm stupid.

Well, me too.

Completely feeble-minded.

All you have to do is get near me

and I turn into this... gibbering idiot.

You're so clever...

and funny and modest and sweet.

And you're so...

You're really so bea...

I mean, my God.

Look at you.

You're an angel.

You do something to me

Somewhere deep inside

- I can't do this. I can't.

- Just try...

...and see what happens.

(announcer) Next, Dr Abby Barnes with

"The Truth About Cats and Dogs".

Oh, no!

- I don't know what I'm doing!

- It's OK.

You've got five minutes.

I can get you there in time.

I've gotta tell you something. I'm...

- What?

- I'm... I'm late.

- What am I doing?

- Should we stop and call?

- No calls!

- OK, OK.

- I've messed up really bad.

- You're only two minutes late.

It can't be that bad.

Let's just see what they're doing.

No! Let me.

Give me that.

- Sh*t.

- I'm sorry.

It's OK. I can get another one. Leave it.

I can get another one somewhere.

I think they still sell them in Bolivia.

God, you should clean this place up.

Thanks for the ride.

Here's your button.

(Abby) So she's been licking her belly.

Is she sensitive in that area?

- No, not really.

- Not sensitive in her belly...

Sorry.

On Tuesday's show

I wanna talk about potbellied pigs.

Come, come, come.

That was scary.

We started with the show on tape. It's OK.

Uh, Abby? You're on in 60.

Is it OK if I watch?

(both) No!

- You need to concentrate.

- You need to concentrate.

You need to concentrate.

- I need to concentrate.

- OK, I understand.

- I'll see you later, then.

- Bye.

So I guess you didn't tell him?

Take him. I don't want a fight. I refuse to

degenerate into some misogynistic clich.

- How could you do this to me?

- I was gonna tell him.

I was all set to do it.

The show started and I couldn't.

- Why not?

- He wouldn't listen.

- What was he doing?

- Nothing.

- Then why didn't you let him find out?

- Maybe it was all the cake he fed me.

What is that? The Twinkie defence?

- He gave us a book.

- Which one?

Simon somebody's letters

to John Paul somebody.

- Simone de Beauvoir's letters to Sartre?

- Exactly.

He said I was smart.

Nobody's ever said that to me before.

- I couldn't stand to tell him it wasn't true.

- Smart and beautiful, though, right?

I've got two ideas how we can fix this.

We find out how he really feels about us,

but in a roundabout way.

So we go over to his house,

and I casually ask him something like:

- If you were stranded on a desert island...

- Trite!

OK. Um...

- If you were stranded in the Arizona bubble...

- Biosphere?

Who would you take?

Time magazine's woman of the year...

...or Playboy's playmate of the year?

I object to those categories

on both our behalves. What's idea two?

We go over there,

get sh*t-faced and see what happens.

OK.

Hello. What...?

- Not so fast. Hello.

- Hi.

Thanks.

("World Keeps Spinning"

by the Brand New Heavies)

Don't cheat yourself

Happiness is round the corner

It will come to you

So have faith and feel true love

Cos there's heaven up above

When we think we've reached the end

The world keeps on spinnin'

The world keeps a spinnin', yeah

The world keeps a spinnin', yeah

The world keeps a spinnin'

The world keeps a spinnin', yeah

Don't cheat yourself

Happiness is round the corner

It will come to you

So have faith and feel true love

Cos there's heaven up above

When we think we've reached the end

The world keeps on spinnin'

The world keeps a spinnin'

The world keeps a spinnin', yeah

Round and round and don't you stop

Pick it up where you left off

Like a wheel, the world, it keeps on turnin'

The world keeps spinnin', yeah

The world keeps a spinnin', yeah

The world keeps a spinnin', yeah

The world keeps a spinnin'

The world keeps a spinnin', yeah

The world keeps a spinnin'

The world keeps a spinnin', yeah

The world keeps a spinnin'

The world keeps a spinnin', yeah

("I Can't lmagine" by Aaron Neville)

You know I wonder

where I'd be if not for you

I'd still be wanderin'

through this world without a clue

At night I'd wake up and look across the bed

And you'd never dream the crazy things

runnin' through my head

I can't imagine

My journey through this world without you

I'm lovin' everything about you

I search my heart and soul

How could there ever be

a greater love than ours?

I can't imagine

- That was really good.

- No, it wasn't.

Your eyes...

They're extraordinary.

Thank you. Yours too.

Um...

I'm just gonna have something to drink.

- It's good.

- OK.

What about me? My turn?

Yes. Yeah, just... swap.

I can't imagine

Sharin'my life with any other

Not makin'love with you

I can't imagine

I've forgotten the flash cord.

How could there ever be

a greater love than ours?

Let me tempt you and deliver

Let me make you feel the ocean roar

Hey, do you want a drink?

Question:
If you were trapped in Biosphere 2

for three years, who would you bring?

Time magazine's woman of the year

or Playboy's playmate of the year?

What?

Just a second, OK?

Abby, where are you going?

I am hammered. I gotta go home.

- Oh. I'll go home with you.

- No, you're having fun. He really likes you.

What? What about you?

- No, I don't even...

- You don't what?

Is everything OK?

Yeah.

I just remembered I have to be somewhere.

- Secret rendezvous?

- You know it.

What about you? Are you gonna stay?

Hi. My dog, Casey-Kay,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes