The Tuxedo Page #6

All men have trouble sleeping.

Sometimes at night, he goes

down and works in his lab.

He sleeps in his lab?

He sleeps in his bedroom.

His lab's in his bedroom?

No.

Get your facts straight.

His lab is at his house...

his casa, where he lives...

get it?

Excellent.

You passed the test.

I put in a good word

with the boss.

Well, let's go

see Chalmers tonight.

No.

Keep him out of this.

Just you and me.

You know,

if you're so good at this

why-why don't you tell me

something about me?

Okay.

You have big crush on me

and I know your

name is Del Blaine.

First of all, you wish, and...

my real name is Delilah.

Delilah?

Suits you.

Hey...

Hmm?

(Jimmy grunting)

Ooh!

(laughing):

Oh!

(shrieking):

Oh... oh, Emperor!

JIMMY:

Hey!

Oh, God, Clark,

isn't anything sacred?

Oh, rug burns are so sexy!

It's the driver.

Oh, my God.

(Cheryl laughing)

(techno-pop dance music plays)

Thank you.

Invitations?

Oh, yes.

Why don't you offer him

five bucks?

I have them somewhere.

Birds of a feather...

Nice party, huh?

So, you're the strong,

silent type, huh?

That's the whole

bouncer package.

(whirring and beeping)

I didn't mean your package.

Thank you...

Dr. Schwartz.

Shalom.

Come, darling.

Product launch, my ass.

Let's go find

Banning's lab.

(techno dance music blaring)

Let's go.

(gate squeaking)

Are you trying to get me alone?

Where'd they go?

Don't tell me

the great Clark Devlin

can't come up with an answer.

(water splashing)

Although

he can walk on water.

It's a trick, right?

(machinery grinding)

Come on.

Wow!

Mr. Devlin likes insects, too.

What?

Oh, uh, uh, I mean

sometime I speak of myself

in the third person.

Hmm, Del Blaine

thinks you're a freak.

MAN:

Have you cleaned the tanks?

(indistinct voices)

JIMMY:

What are they doing down there?

DEL:

I don't know.

MAN:

When you're done here

you can go

and sweep the tunnels.

Don't use the blower!

I can tell the difference.

And don't touch the tequila

for me and Mr. Banning.

Whatever you say there,

Dr. Simms.

Yes, Dr. Simms.

Louder!

BOTH:

Yes, Dr. Simms.

We better hope the little

ones follow the queen.

Well, if they don't

the stock is going

to be worthless.

"Follow the queen"?

Huh? Have you seen Cheryl?

Maybe he's gay.

Cheryl? No.

WORKER:

Man, let's get out of here.

Let's go have a smoke.

It still stinks.

Hey.

How did you...?

Whatever.

JIMMY:

Look at this.

(air hissing)

He's pinpointed

the national reservoirs.

He's going to poison

the water?

Not with that stuff.

It's too detectable

and there's

government safeguards.

Let's check out the computer.

Now you're thinking.

(whirring and beeping)

Who are they?

They shouldn't be in the lab.

Let's go.

Oh, my God.

Oh, your God what?

DNA recombinant microbes

carrying a T-4 genome.

English.

Genetically induced

hydrogen-oxygen barrier.

Normal person's English.

DEL:

Dehydrating water.

Drink it,

you'll shrivel up and die

but the big question is,

how is he possibly

going to introduce it

into the water supply?

(door opening)

I think we better go.

Huh?

Go.

(typing on keyboard)

(computer beeps)

Quick, over there by the wall.

(sensor beeping)

Nobody here.

Let's check the hatchery.

(beeping continues)

DEL:

You're on my foot.

(electrical crackling)

What was that about?

Shh! Go!

How did they miss us?

What, are they blind?

Don't look up my skirt.

("Set Adrift on Memory Bliss"

playing)

Set adrift

on memory bliss of you

The camera pans

the cocktail glass

Behind a blind

of plastic plants

I found the lady

with the fat diamond ring

Then you know I can't remember a

damn thing

I think it's one...

Banning's got the bacteria

but he has to transport it

from his lab to the water.

There's no way he can.

Maybe with airplanes.

Not possible.

Besides, even if he could get it

to a reservoir undetected

an alarm would trigger

the second the surface

of the water's broken.

You're really smart.

It's an act.

I'm an inexperienced girl

who's trying to bluff

her way through.

You are?

Come on, stop humoring me.

Just be honest.

...assuming that there are

some out there...

Honest?

All right.

You think

I'm the great Clark Devlin.

(phone ringing)

...gonna say

I look lovely...

Yeah, hello?

Steena, I can't talk right now.

...I can't lie

She's just one of those corners

in my mind

And I just put her right back...

Yeah.

Yeah, I can handle it.

Bad news?

Can we go somewhere

and be... alone?

Sure.

I didn't know

you were so strong.

Take off your clothes.

Let's not do anything

we'll regret.

Take off your clothes.

What's happening?

Look, I knew

the second I met you

you weren't Clark Devlin.

Now take off the tuxedo.

It doesn't belong to you.

I wanted to tell you,

but I just didn't know how.

Take off your clothes.

(toilet flushing)

What is that?

Hey!

Whoa!

You, out here!

Okay.

Take the clothes.

Okay.

Slow down.

My name is Jimmy Tong.

I'm Mr. Devlin's driver.

He asked me to find

Walter Strider.

I don't want to hear

any more of your lies.

Now, give me the watch

and the shoes.

Now, where's Clark Devlin

and how did you think

you were going

to get away with this?

Things happened.

I decided to go with the flow.

What about the underwear?

They're mine.

L-I mean, my roommate.

Jimmy.

Suits you.

(door opens, closes)

These are my roommate's, too.

Go finish your business.

(belt buckle clanking)

(dance music blaring)

Have you seen the Emperor?

No.

Impolite to leave

without saying good-bye

to the host.

I was just looking for Deitrich.

I'll take you to him, then.

(grunting)

Like a big terrier

with a little rat.

I think she was

down in the lab.

Well, at least your interest

in water was genuine.

Look, I'm here because of you.

You wanted to know

if I could be trusted?

I bet this tux

is just your size.

Thank you.

(beeping)

(whirring and beeping)

We got a positive location

on Blaine, sir.

CHALMERS (over headset):

How long till we get to her?

I've transmitted

the coordinates.

JIMMY:

Dear Mr. Devlin

I did the best I could,

but it wasn't good enough.

I did not find Walter Strider

for you.

I also lost your tuxedo.

I'm sure you will get it back.

I guess I will go back to being

what I was before I met you.

Oh!

Water Strider.

Water strider.

Water strider!

Stupid!

BANNING:

My beautiful little darlings.

DEL:

Gerris maginatus.

Species native

to Southeast Asia.

Commonly known

as the water strider.

(quietly):

Walter Strider.

Yes, the water strider.

Very good. Very good.

Well, it's brilliant.

They touch down

on the reservoirs.

Their little feet transfer

a deadly bacteria

without breaking

the surface of the water

so no alarms sound,

and it looks like

a nasty little trick of nature.

Fortunately

there is one drinkable

water source.

(gasps)

Yours.

(giggles maniacally)

Deitrich,

you're a genius.

Too bad it won't work.

Oh... you so wrong.

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong.

It will work because

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