The Ugly Dachshund Page #8

expect too much from him,

that's all.

Come on, Chloe.

Heel.

I'll be seeing you.

Doc...

You got a deal.

Get him ready for that show.

Oh, hold on, Mark.

Now, that show

is only six days away.

Now, wait a minute...

it was your idea, you know.

You said he was good enough.

Yeah, I know, but, uh...

What about that blue ribbon

you've been talking about?

No, no, no.

It's impossible, impossible.

Then you'll do it?

Of course I will.

All right.

Now, one thing, Doc...

don't tell my wife, hmm?

Mark, under these conditions,

I wouldn't tell anybody.

I wouldn't even tell

my mother.

Have a good night's sleep,

Brutus.

Brutus, all right, Brutus,

you understand?

Wait. Wait a minute.

All right, now...

Now, remember, you hold

the leash in one hand.

Yeah.

The important thing is that

you are in control of the dog.

Right.

Now, let's try it now.

Nice and easy, huh?

Okay. Brutus, heel.

Hold him. Hold him.

Hold him. Hold him now.

Nice and easy, huh?

Mark, if you...

Keep control of the dog

at all times.

You can do it.

[No audio]

Stay.

Well, what do you think, Doc?

[Sighs] I don't know.

I don't know.

He's not consistent.

There should be a proud look

to him, a Dane look.

Sometimes he's fine, and then

he seems to lose his character.

Well, that's the old dachsie

influence.

He still thinks

he's one of them.

Oh?

And so all we've got to do now

is to figure out a way

to persuade him

that he's a Great Dane.

That's right, Doc.

That's right.

By tomorrow.

[Indistinct conversations]

[Dogs barking]

[Barking]

Keep him still,

will you, Mark?

Yeah, okay, Doc.

Hey, are you sure

Fran's not gonna come in here?

No.

The dachsies are benched

clear over

the other side

of the building.

Yes, okay.

[Whimpers]

[Barking]

Come on, boy. Come on.

Hold still, will you?

Doggone it.

Now, just relax, boy.

They're dogs,

just like you are.

Well, now, let's see.

Let's see.

Now, you're as ready

as you ever will be, Brutus.

- Doc, down. Quick.

- Huh? What?

- Down!

- What? What's the matter?

It's Fran.

Well, what's she doing

over here?

- I don't know, but...

- She belongs with the hounds.

FRAN:
Oh, thank you.

[Barks]

[Whimpers]

Boy, that was close.

[Chuckles] Well, you won't

be able to duck her for long.

Just long enough to win

that blue ribbon, Doc...

that's all I want.

MAN ON P. A:
Great Danes

to the ring, please.

Great Danes to the ring.

Well, here's your chance.

- Yeah, thanks, Doc.

- Good luck.

Thank you.

Head up, boy.

Oh, here they come.

Any last words of advice, Doc?

Nope. You're on your own.

Good luck.

[Mumbles]

Hi.

[Whimpers]

Mark.

Walk your dogs, please.

Heel.

Oh, excuse me.

Nice dog.

Oh.

Look, sweetie-kins,

those are Great Danes.

Oh.

Up! Up! Up! Up!

Up! Up! Up!

Oh.

[Laughter]

Up, Brutus, up. Stand up.

Come on, fella, stand up.

Just a minute!

Hold everything!

That dog sick or just tired?

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.

It's, uh...

it's stage fright.

- Stage fright?

- Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

- Hey, what happened to him?

- I don't know.

Must've got the idea

he was a dachsie again.

JUDGE:

Stack your dogs, please.

Head up, boy. Head up.

Mark. Mark.

[Laughter]

There's no sense hanging around.

I might as well go home now.

No, no.

You've got to stick it out.

Hey, look at him.

Doc?

DR. PRUITT:
Well...

Now, that's what I call

a Great Dane.

Make a deal with you.

What's that?

Won't have you thrown out if

you tell me how you managed it.

- Managed what?

- Switching dogs.

Swit... well, I didn't!

Expect me to believe

that's the same dog?

Well, it's... little hard

for me to believe myself.

- [Chuckles]

- [Groans]

Now, don't worry, Mark.

You're doing fine.

Hey, Doc, this is making me

a nervous wreck.

What got into Brutus, anyway?

Well, he just got a look

at that other Dane over there...

that female.

She's waiting to be judged

for best of breed.

You mean just because

he saw her, he...

Dogs are just like people.

Takes a female to make

a fella want to show off.

Yeah.

Well, he's sure showing off now,

isn't he, Doc?

JUDGE:
All right, that's it.

You...

...and you.

What?

Walk your dogs again,

both of you.

Oh. Yes, sir.

Heel, Brutus.

Run your dog!

Well, of all the...

Really, uh...

I'm so sorry. It slipped.

That's enough.

[Applause]

- That's enough!

- Yes, sir.

You sure had me fooled

the first time around.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

Fine dog.

- Just wait over there.

- Okay.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Good girl. Good girl.

Whoa, that's my boy!

I knew it.

It was yours all the way.

Thank you, Doc.

He's such a good dog.

- I'm proud of you, yes.

- How about that?

Listen, take over

for me, will you?

Here, hang on to Brutus

for me.

Huh? Why?

Where are you going?

I'm gonna find Fran and wave

this under her cute little nose,

- That's where I'm going.

- No, no, you can't leave now.

Why not? I won, didn't I?

Only for male Danes, yeah.

Now he's got to be judged

against this female

for the best of breed,

then there's working class...

I've got what I want.

Here, take over for me.

Uh, Mark! I c...

You, uh... hold that,

will you, please?

Thanks very much.

[Indistinct conversations]

Hey, Fran.

Mark, you did come.

- You bet your life I...

- Ooh. [Chuckles]

I wouldn't miss this

for anything.

Oh, don't rub it in.

What?

Well, you saw... second place,

after all I went through.

After all I put you through.

Hey, I really am sorry, Fran.

I really am.

No, Mark, I am...

about everything.

Why don't we go home?

I don't like

public confessions, huh?

Yeah.

Let's go home.

What's that?

What's what?

Mark,

are you hiding something?

Well, it's a, uh...

I picked it up in there.

Mark, that's a blue ribbon.

They're very valuable.

You can't just go around

picking up blue ribbons.

- Now, you put it back.

- Fran...

MAN ON P. A:

Working class...

best of winners

to the ring, please.

Best of winners.

Hey, you don't

suppose that...

Come on.

- Mark!

- No, come on.

Mark? Mark?

Why are you carrying... Mark?

Brutus?

Surprised?

Oh-ho-ho.

Best of breed.

Onward and upward, Doc.

Mark, you never told me!

I'm sorry, honey,

it was childish of me,

When you didn't win, I didn't

have the heart to tell you.

Oh, you sweet, wonderful boob,

I love you.

[Barks]

Will you be quiet

and watch your brother?

Ta-da!

[Laughs] You know, Mark...

it's too bad Brutus didn't

do better in the working group.

Look, third place

was just fine.

We got a matched set from

the bottom right to the top.

How does it look, huh?

Oh, that's perfect.

Mark, where's the other

blue ribbon?

Oh, I gave it to Doc Pruitt.

Boy, did he deserve it.

Honey, I'm sorry it was such

a disappointing day for you.

Oh, don't be silly, Mark.

At least it's ending

better than it began, huh?

I'll make a deal with you.

- You will? What?

- Mm-hmm. No more dog shows.

No more dog shows.

No, okay,

no more blue ribbons.

No more blue ribbons.

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