The Ultimate Christmas Present Page #4

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Reason I Kept You

Around This Long

Is Because I'm Married

To Your Sister.

But Even She Says

I Should Let You Go.

Belinda Said That?

Uh-Huh.

But Since It's

The Holidays

And I'm Feeling

Very Charitable,

I'm Going To Give

You One More Chance.

Now You Are Gonna

Go Out There,

And Dig Up

Some Real News

About This Storm.

Like Are

The Backstreet Boys

Going To Cancel

Their Concert

In The Park?

Or How's Brad Pitt

Getting To The Set

Of His New Movie?

That's What I Want

To Know!

Yes, Sir!

Good. Oh, Oh, Oh!

And Be Sure To Get A Lot

Of Hard-Luck Stories

About Cars Not Starting

And People

Slipping On Ice--

You Know, Christmas

Being Ruined.

It'll Help Boost

Our Ratings.

Yes, Sir!

Good.

Oh, And, Hadley.

About

That Pay Raise?

Yes, Sir.

Forget It!

Yes, Sir.

Please Understand

That This Snowfall

Was Completely Unexpected,

A Meteorological Fluke,

If You Will.

It--It--It Did Not Show Up

On, Uh, On Our Radar.

Ok, Ok! What About

The Schools?

Rest Assured That As Of

This Moment, I'm Doing

Everything In My Power

To Trace Its Origin.

Now, If I Were To Hasten

A Hypothetical Guess,

I Would Be Looking

For A Mass Of Polar Air

From The North,

Quite Possibly, Alaska.

Now Imagine As The Air Wends

Its Way Down From Alaska

And Through Canada,

The Smell Of Sockeye Salmon

Wending Through Bakersfield

And Coming Down

Through Arizona Into

The San Fernando Valley,

Where It Would Meet Up

With A Subtropical Air Front,

Carrying With It

The Smells Of Mexico

And The Sounds

Of The Mariachi Band.

We Would Get

A Sort Of Mixture

And An Interplay Between

These 2 Different Isobar,

Isothermic Fronts,

Creating A Sort Of

Meteorological Lambada.

If You Will--

Ok.

That's Right, Folks.

All This Glorious Snow

Isn't A Special Effect

Dreamed Up By Tinseltown,

But The Real Thing.

And Good News

For All You Kids.

Put Down Your Books

And Grab Your Snowboards,

Because The Following

Schools Are Closed.

Adams High School,

Cutler Elementary...

Yeahhh!

Evergreen High School,

Fairfax Elementary,

Fairview Junior High,

Century Middle School,

Grant Junior High.

Grant Junior High.

Come On.

Carine Elementary,

Harrison Elementary,

Oh, What About Grant?

Did She Say Grant?

No!

Jackson Elementary,

Jackson High School,

Harrisburg High School,

Inglewood Middle School.

I'm Sorry.

I Skipped One.

Grant Junior High--

Both:
Yaaay!

(Rock Version Of Jingle Bells)

Yaaaay!

It's Snow!

I'll Be Right Back.

Whooo!

You're So Mean!

I'm Gonna Get You!

Ahhh!

Ha Ha Ha!

Wow!

Yeaaaah!

Ha Ha Ha!

Jingle Bells,

Jingle Bells

Jingle All The Way

Hey, Mr. C!

Sorry We're Late.

I Bet You're Glad

To See Us.

Where's Twinkle And Fiona?

Oh, They Were Gonna Come,

But A Crisis Like This

Required The Best.

So We Volunteered!

Lucky Me.

What In The World Is That?

Oh, This Old Thing?

Nothing But

The Greatest

Revolution

In Christmas

Industry.

That Is, Since

Your Patented

Chimney Expander.

Christmas Is Not

An Industry, Crumpet.

It's A Holiday.

We've Been Meaning To

Talk To You About That.

Ok, Mr. C,

Connect With Me. Ok,

Stay Right There.

Think About This.

4-Wheel-Drive

All The Time,

On The Fly,

And Unlimited

Cargo Space

And, Wait,

You Ready For This?

This Is The Kicker.

No More Nasty Reindeer

To Contend With.

I--I Can't Think

About This Right Now.

We've Got To Find

That Machine Before

The Snow Gets Any Worse.

You Got It, Chief.

Although, Uh, You Know,

Sparky And I Have

A Few New Gift Ideas

We Want To Run By You.

Like, We Got--

Crumpet!

Ok, Ok, Ok!

Uh, Where Would I Be

If I Was A Weather Machine?

Did You Check

The Cabin?

Yes.

Did You

Retrace Your Steps?

Yes!

Did You Check Your Pockets?

I've Been

Through This Before!

I've Checked

Every Square Inch Of--

What's This?

I Know This One!

Uh, It's

A Trash Can Lid.

Underneath!

Both:
A Shoeprint.

Santa:
This Is Terrible.

It's My Worst Fear Come True.

The Weather Machine

Has Been Stolen.

The 14 Inches...

Of Snow...

That Has Fallen

Since Last Night

Easily Eclipses

The Previous Record

For Los Angeles County

Of 0.3 Inches

On January 19, 1949.

Nothing Suspicious

About That Snowfall,

On That Day.

Yes. Mrs.Dombrowski,

I Promise Even

With The Snow,

We Will Have

Everything

For Your Party.

In Fact,

It's Almost Ready

As We Speak.

Yes.

Ok, You Know What?

I Have To Go,

Though. My Other

Line Is Ringing.

Ok, I'll See You

Soon. Bye-Bye.

Creative Catering.

Mr. Thompson:
Hello, Darling.

How's It Going?

Oh, Hi, Honey.

I Am So Crazed.

Are You On

Your Way Home?

Not Quite.

You Know That

Snowstorm Of Yours...

Well, It Started Here

About An Hour Ago.

That's Why I Called.

My Flight's Delayed.

How Long?

Oh, They Don't Know Yet,

But At Least

A Couple Of Hours.

Oh, Honey,

I Am So Sorry.

Yeah. Me, Too.

Oh, Well.

Give Me A Chance To Eat

Some Delicious Airport Food.

How Are The Kids?

Well,

They're Great

'Cause The Schools

Are Closed.

Oh. Lucky Them.

Lucky You.

Well, You Know What?

Actually, It's Been Fun.

I Mean,

You Should See Allie.

She Is Out Of Her Mind.

It's Almost Like

She Personally

Ordered Up This

From The Weather

Service Herself.

Well, What Do

You Think?

(Squawking)

Definitely Needs

More Sugar.

You're Right!

Bawk!

Too Much!

Shh, Quiet.

She's On The Phone.

Don't Forget

To Tell Steve About

The Rollerblades.

Oh, Honey,

Before I Forget.

I Am Having

The Hardest Time

Finding

Those Rollerblades

For Allie.

Nobody Has Her Size.

What Size Is She?

Crumpet:

Length, 7 Inches.

Sparky:
Check.

Width, 3 1/2 Inches.

Check.

Elliptical

Shoe Tread.

Check.

You Know, This Program

We Put Together,

For Lack Of

A Better Word, Santa,

Fantastic!

In Just A Couple

Of Seconds,

It's Gonna Tell Us

We're Looking For--

An Eagle's Flight

Running Shoe, Size 7.

Ok.

How Did You

Know That?

I Delivered 40,000

Of Them Last Year,

And There Are 1,937 Girls

In Los Angeles

With Size-7 Feet.

Hmm.

That's A Lot.

Yeah. That's A Lot.

Yeah.

I Suggest We Dispense

With The Nice Girls.

We'll Take

The Naughty-Girl List,

And We'll Work

Our Way Through Them.

See, That's Why

We're Connected, Santa,

Because Sparky And I

Put Together This

Awesome Naughty And Nice

Software Program.

Give It To Me.

Thanks.

Uh, Uh, It's--

It's Ok. Shh...

Was This

In Your Candy Pocket?

Well, It's, Uh,--

You Know,

That's Nasty.

Boys!

I've Got The List.

Let's Go.

There's No Time To Lose.

Now You Got Him

All Mad.

There's A Man Who Leads

A Life Of Danger

To Everyone He Meets,

He Stays A Stranger

With Every Move

He Makes

The Other Chance

He Takes

Odds Are He Won't

Live To See Tomorrow

Secret Agent Man

Secret Agent Man

They're Giving You

A Number

And Taking Away

Your Name

Hey, Tina.

Got A Minute?

Where Those Pretty Faces

That You've Found

A Pretty Face

Can Hide An Evil Mind

Ah, Be Careful

What You Say

Or You'll

Give Yourself Away

Yo, Jennifer,

What's Up?

Odds Are You Won't

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