The United States of Leland Page #5

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you something?

Yeah.

Yeah, he says he did it.

But I don't know why.

I don't think he knows why, either.

You know your son,

he's very detached.

Most of the time, he seems

completely disinterested in his own fate.

Uninterested in his own fate?

Look, if you think I'm

gonna be able to provide

some insight into Leland,

you're wrong.

There are no private spaces

in my son's heart reserved for me.

- There never have been.

- You moved to Paris...

America's Too Loud,

that was what? '94, '95?

So Leland was...?

Chronologies have never

been my strong suit.

Well, was he angry with you for leaving,

for moving away?

I'm not really that adept at gauging

people's emotional reactions to events.

I disagree.

I've read your books.

Mmm, so have I.

They haven't helped.

Well, he still visits

you out there, right?

He said he gets out there

a couple of times a year, so...

What are your visits like?

Chapter Two, right?

I'm sorry?

Fiction.

You're not here out

of some selfless devotion

to my son or your

admiration for my work.

You're here because you smell

a good book. And I'm Chapter Two.

I wanna write about your son.

But I don't wanna exploit him.

There's no distinction.

Good luck with your novel.

Maybe I'll pick it up in the supermarket

checkout line one of these days.

Well, the truth is, I haven't actually

seen my dad since I was six.

I don't understand,

I thought you travelled with him?

Well...

He's sent me plane tickets,

one in the spring, one in the winter,

every year since I was 12.

But you never went to Paris?

I never really talked to

my dad after he left.

Sometimes he'd send me money

for my birthday, junk like that.

One year, he just decided he wanted me

to come visit him for Christmas.

But I had to fly to New York first,

then catch a plane to Paris.

Once I got there, though,

I just kinda decided

to stay in New York.

I told my dad about how there was

this sort of electricity in the air there

and how I wanted to stay.

He was OK with it.

He even said something like

I was a real neat kid for doing it.

Once I got there,

I couldn't find a hotel.

No-one would give me a room. They

were all so worried to give a kid a room.

But it didn't seem

to bother them to send

that same kid onto the

street with no place to go.

So I decided to hide

out for a while.

And I found this

movie theatre.

And after the first movie,

this family came and sat down next to me.

And the dad, I guess he noticed the

two big duffel bags that I had next to me.

He made some corny joke about

whether I was staying for a while.

I told him how I

came to be in New York.

That got the

Mom's attention.

Her name's Angela.

But I called her

Mrs Calderon then.

She was worried about me. She said I

could come stay with them for the holidays.

I said it sounded pretty good.

You could tell her

place cost a fortune.

And her daughter...

She was kind of snobby, but OK.

She just kept trying to kiss me,

and I wasn't into it then.

They were all really nice to me,

but particularly Mrs Calderon.

I just loved looking

into her eyes.

It was like they reflected

the electricity of the whole city.

I didn't feel lonely at all

when I was around her.

She kinda made me feel like...

everything was OK.

Or like stuff was wrong

but you couldn't see it?

When my dad sent me

another ticket that spring,

I kinda figured maybe I'd just

go back to New York instead.

But this ticket was for Italy.

And my dad said I should fly to a new place

each time, see the world that way.

- It could be our little secret.

- Where did you go the last time?

Well, my dad said I should

see New York in the spring.

Did you see the Calderons?

Did something happen?

Well, it's a big city.

Something's always happening in New York.

- What the f***, dude?

- Where is she?

Where's who? And who are you?

Allen!

- Come on, let's go.

- Where are we going? Go where?

Here, get dressed.

I'm gonna take you home. Come on.

Look, man...

Hey, listen, OK,

I'm not gonna beat you.

But this isn't f***ing right.

This is my place.

I don't know who the f*** you are.

I just wanna know...

who the f*** you are, OK?

Stop!

Do you have any idea

what you're doing to her family?

Do you care?

- Stop!

- Do you even f***ing care?

- Stop kicking him! Stop!

- You're destroying her family!

Stop!

You f***ing junkie!

Stupid junkie f***.

I don't think I know

what the definition of love is.

You know in your heart

if you love somebody.

But it's not in your heart.

Love's on your tongue.

It's a word, that's all.

OK, did you tell Becky you loved her?

She said she loved you?

But she still broke

up with you, right?

I'm not angry with her.

I was never angry with her.

It's OK to be angry.

I mean, you're practically entitled to it.

Why?

You're only human.

I mean, you are human, aren't you?

Well, if you say so, Pearl.

Thank you for what you did today.

I think we should talk.

I know that this doesn't seem

like the best time, but...

Julie, I found that letter.

I found the letter to Iowa.

And er...

If you've changed your mind, I understand.

But... why didn't you tell me?

Or ask me or something, you know?

It's OK.

It's OK, because I can go out

there with you and I'll...

I'll apply to school

there next semester.

This isn't about where I go to school,

it's about us.

Oh.

OK.

Well, you know what I think.

So...

If you have something to say, you should

say it. Because I don't have anything.

Maybe we shouldn't plan

like we're gonna move off together.

Does that mean what? Does that

mean we're... not going to or...?

I love you, Allen, but...

- But... - But we've been

together for a really long time,

really close,

like we're married

since you moved in.

And everything's so set...

Sorry to interrupt, but er...

I wanted us all to

talk about tomorrow.

OK, we'll be right there.

I don't know, it just doesn't really

feel right to me any more, and...

Maybe it was just...

too much too soon, you know?

Or that we both changed.

No, I haven't changed.

I haven't changed.

Then I've changed.

And what I want has changed.

I don't want you to go

out with me to Iowa.

I'm really sorry.

No, wait, Julie!

Hey, Julie.

Julie.

OK, here's the definition.

Love is when you can't get

somebody out of your mind.

When they're your first thought in the

morning and your last thought at night.

Maybe it's not in your heart,

but it is in your head.

OK.

So, do you think about Becky?

All the time.

You don't have anything to

worry about, I promise.

If you have to wake me up

in the middle of the night

to tell me that I don't have

anything to worry about,

it kinda makes it seem like

I do have something to worry about.

I just wanted to

see a familiar face.

I just wanted someone to talk to.

Talk to at two o'clock

in the morning?

Look, I'm really sorry, OK,

I didn't show up today, but...

it just sort of came up,

you know, I didn't...

Look, you're my

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