The Unquenchable Thirst for Beau Nerjoose Page #2

I love you so much!

Love you too, mom.

Coming up next, another shitty,

f***ing song by Sublime.

Yeah, those were

some good times.

Mom.

Mom?

Mom?

Mom, why'd you fall

asleep for no reason?

Hey doctor, it's Ron.

Uh, my mom's gone to

sleep for no reason.

I think there's

something wrong with her.

Boner-time.

Ron.

Your mother's gone into a coma,

Oh God.

and she has genital herpes.

Oh God.

How do you know she

has genital herpes?

Because I have genital herpes.

Did you have sex with my mom?

Oh yeah, I've been having sex

with her for quite sometime.

She's crazy, you know.

Crazy 'bout this dick!

Anyway, there's something

important we need to discuss.

Not only am I your

mother's doctor,

but I'm also her lawyer.

And as such, I must tell

you that according to

your mother's last wishes,

if she's in a coma longer than

a week, she is to be euthanized.

What should I do?

Definitely don't

have sex with her.

She's got a bad case

of genital herpes,

and also, she's your mom.

Right. Right. You're

totally right.

Here Ron.

Let me give you an invitation

to her euthanasia slash funeral

ceremony slash karaoke party.

Let's see here. A week from

today would be next Monday.

I really hope you can make it.

I'm sure Agnes would

love to have you.

And take care Ron. Call me

if you have any questions.

Ah, thanks. This is

all just so awful.

Ron, genital herpes isn't that

big of a deal. One can live a

happy and healthy sexual life.

I'm talking about my

mom dying in a week.

Oh that. Yeah. Well.

C'est la vie, Ron.

C'est la vie.

No, it's not.

Life ain't about d*cks

and wieners no matter

what you thought.

So f***in' sad, mom's in a

coma and she's got herpes too.

So f***in sad, my

wife is a whore...

Sh*t.

Poop.

Definetly poop.

Where there's poop,

there's mushrooms.

I really don't want to eat this.

If you don't like the

taste, put it in your butt.

OK, here we go.

Oi, I'm flying' here.

Excuse me, helicockter.

Oh, you're a right

c*nt, ain't ya.

I'm tripping on mushrooms.

To mend my broken

heart before it splits

in two and spills blood

all over the floor.

I'm tripping on you.

I'm tripping on everything.

There's a bear jerking

off over there.

And he's looking at me.

He's looking at me.

He's looking at me.

He's looking at me.

I'm tripping on mushrooms.

To mend my broken

heart before it splits

in two and pours blood

all over the floor.

Weird.

Hey Ron.

Hello?

C'mon stupid. I'm

in your butthole.

Yeah right. My butthole.

No. Seriously, let's talk.

Alright.

I don't see anything.

Move your dick and balls out

of the way, you f***ing idiot.

Oh hey little buddy.

How'd you get in there?

I was in the mushroom

you shoved up your ass!

Oh, sorry. Oopsie doopsie.

It's ok. I'm a bootyworm.

I like being in buttholes.

So what's up?

You're in danger, Ron.

How do you know my name?

Because you're the chosen one.

This has been a weird day.

My wife, Tracey left me.

I crapped my pants.

My mom's crazy.

Your mom, Ron! She's

very important!

What are you talking

about, little guy?

There's no time for this,

Ron. Listen closely.

There's an evil man intent

on controlling the universe.

I've come here from the planet

Urectum to get your help.

We've come in search of

the great fleshlight.

I've been upside

down for a long time.

Ron, stay with me! We

don't have much time!

You have to save your

mother! Your mother's anus!

Gross.

Ron! Ron!

That's cool, man.

Shrooming!

Shrooms sure make me horny.

I'm walking all alone.

And these shrooms

gave me a bone.

And Tracey now I know.

You'll never touch my bone.

It's raining

teardrops on my boner.

I'm crying teardrops

on my boner.

It's raining

teardrops on my boner.

I'm crying teardrops

on my boner.

Bone, bone, bone,

bone, bone, bone, bone!

Bone, bone, bone,

bone, bone, bone, bone!

Talkin' 'bout teardrops!

On my boner!

Talkin' 'bout teardrops!

On my boner!

Oooo hooo wooo!

Oooo hooo wooo!

Oooo...

Sometimes the world,

it'll get you down.

It will break you up,

it will chew you out.

When you've been

pushed and beaten down.

You feel like crawling

into the ground.

Let evil be, let evil be.

Oh sad and powerless me.

Is it him?

I don't know, d*ckhead.

Wake up, my son.

Wake up!

What the f*** happened?

Well, we found you here in the

middle of the woods, young boy.

Looks like you hit

your head pretty hard,

but this should here

your cerebral pains.

This taste like hot sh*t.

That's because it is hot sh*t.

We have no coffee out

here. We're in the

middle of the woods.

C'mon.

Right, right.

Hello.

I am Sister Buttfister.

This is Sister Fuckface

and Sister Dicktwister.

What's your name, boy?

Ron. Ron. I'm Ron.

Oh.

God, I had the

weirdest day yesterday.

Really?

Yeah, my wife, Tracey left me.

She said I'm not

good enough for her,

and then blah, blah, blah.

Do you think he's the one?

I doubt it. The prophecy said

nothing of the chosen one

being covered in bear semen.

Bear semen? Why do you

think it's bear semen?

Let's just say I

wasn't always a nun.

And then I hit my head

on that tree, and it

knocked my out right here.

Oh my. Now that

is quite the tale.

Now tell me Ron. At any

point in your journey,

did you come across

a nun just like us?

Younger? Slightly sexier?

Her name was Sister Hope.

Not unless Sister Hope is

fully erect claymation bear.

No, I see no reason why

she'd have an erection.

Hope has been captured

by the evil Dr. Nerjoose.

There's worm in my

butthole that was talking

about an evil doctor.

Ron, we're nuns of an

ancient religion that

speaks of a prophecy.

This prophecy speaks of

a man and woman that will

end all suffering on Earth.

We believe Hope may be this

woman. And you may be this man.

Yeah right. Sure.

Ron, the prophecy speaks

of a booty worm much

like your own booty worm.

Let me guess. Does Hope

have one of these talking

worms in her a**hole?

No!

Hope's butthole is as

pure as the driven snow!

I'm sorries.

Sister Hope is very dear to us.

We've cherished her since the

day she came to our convent

nineteen years ago!

Me and the girls were outside

sunbathing the titties,

and Hope just appeared

on our door step.

I remember it like

it was yesterday,

yesterday, yesterday, yesterday,

yesterday, yesterday, yesterday,

yesterday...

Holy sh*t!

Someone left a baby on

the steps of our convent.

Oh F*** that.

Oh she's adorable. That's it!

We're keeping her, and

we'll name her Hope.

Oh look! She has a bottle.

What the f*** is in there?

I don't know, but it f***ing

stinks like f***ing maggots.

What is this?

It sure looks shitty.

We got some mother f***ing

maggots on our titties!

I don't like it.

This is the pits.

We got some mother f***ing

maggots on our tits!

F***! We got tittie maggots!

F***! Talkin' tittie maggots!

F***! We got tittie maggots!

F***! F***! F***! F***! F***!

F***in' tittie maggots!

This f***in' blows.

This f***in' sucks.

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