The Videoblogs Page #4

---

Does hungry count?

(laughs)

I don't even know

why I'm laughing,

it's not funny, but I...

It's just, it's so

beautiful out today,

and I feel open.

You know, like there's not

anything to worry about.

At least not now,

not in this moment.

And yeah, I want that.

I want that to last.

I'm gonna go out.

I'm gonna go out and

just go to the cafe

and have some lunch

and be lazy.

I'm glad it works for Marge.

She seems to be doing

really well these days.

She's like, stable.

She's always been

stable on the surface,

but not like this.

I get it.

She's showing up

for herself more.

I miss her a little bit.

She still hasn't

been around as much.

At the same time, I'm

starting to feel closer to her

when I do see her.

It's got me thinking

a little bit,

maybe I should talk

to someone too.

I'm fine, but you know...

(laughs)

I guess I'm starting to

understand how this works.

It's a little devious.

Margaret would come up

with something like this.

I have to keep

looking at myself.

You know, when I don't talk,

it keeps listening, so I have to

keep talking

to myself.

Touche, Marge.

(laughs)

I just feel,

I feel

really overwhelmed sometimes.

Everything I do,

I just do it.

I'm all doer.

I get up and I go,

and I go out

and I hang out

and I stay out,

but...

Now I know I have plenty

to be happy about,

and I just feel,

f***, even right now

I know I can just turn

this off and go find

something to make me happy, but

Is that happy?

Every f***ing

time I say something

about anything that

I'm happy about,

she f***ing shits all over it.

Doesn't matter what I do.

Doesn't matter

what I f***ing say.

I feel like I can burst

sometimes.

I feel like I could

destroy something, or someone.

I noticed a few men have

been on the wrong end

of that compulsion.

F***.

(clicking)

(dings)

She didn't even let me

finish lettin' me tell her

how many people actually

read the magazine

before she skipped

to the end and just

started in on me.

I don't know about that

creative writing thing,

because that ain't no real job.

You ain't gonna

make no real money,

and I ain't payin' all this

money for you to stay poor.

Parents worry.

She isn't even paying

all of my tuition,

I earn that sh*t

through scholarships.

Now I'm just continuing

this by yelling at you.

You're not yelling at me.

Not like that at least.

Besides, even if you were,

I'm pretty used to it.

I figured you

would understand.

Still doesn't make

it right though.

What in the world are

you smiling about?

I don't know.

Maybe it's just because

I'm not sad right now?

Not tonight, at least.

I don't wanna make you think

I don't sympathize with you.

No, I, I don't

wanna be sad either.

I'm angry, you know,

but maybe underneath

that I'm a little sad,

but I don't know, right

now I just don't feel it.

Good, then it's settled.

No sadness.

Okay.

You wanna go outside

for a little bit?

Outside where?

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

Are you safe?

Yeah.

Are you sure?

I just felt like I should ask.

She doesn't hit me anymore.

She's too scared of me.

She created a monster, you know.

I'm 10 times angrier than she is

and I'd give it back to her.

Couple years ago was the

last time she hit me.

She started on me for some

bullshit reason or another,

and I don't know something

was different that time.

She...

I just didn't back down.

The first time in my

life I didn't back down,

at least from her.

Something in my just

snapped, you know?

Just changed.

That ever happen to you?

Yeah.

I wrote something about it,

like a metaphor.

I don't really like it and

it's not nearly good enough,

but I'll tell it to you

if you want to hear it.

Okay.

You know how you have that

that hard, bendable plastic,

like one of those

little cheap black combs

that's not gone through

the unbreakable,

so they're actually breakable?

What if you have

something like that

and you just bend it?

You bend it just

'cause it could bend?

And you just keep bending

it 'cause you can,

just back and forth,

back and forth.

Maybe you start to

realize when you put

a little more pressure on it,

it becomes that weird

greyish-white color

and it weakens.

But you don't stop, right?

You keep bending it

just 'cause you can.

And you keep goin', you

just go back and forth,

back and forth, and of course

you think yeah,

this is gonna snap,

it's gotta break, right?

But then you hear

that hard snapping.

When you look down

the inside isn't soft,

it's like when you

have two sharp pieces

in your hand.

Surprised though.

That's how I felt.

That's how I feel.

And I'm just two broken

pieces in her hand.

She, she just got

angrier and angrier

and I didn't even say anything.

She said the worst things

that she's ever said.

I didn't back down though.

Mm-mm.

She didn't put her

hand on me either,

'cause I don't know what

it was, maybe it was

just something I said.

I think that's what it was.

I think I just looked

at her and I said,

you try to f***ing hit

me again, old lady.

Just try it.

She said the worst things she's

ever said to me that night.

She never put her

hands on me again.

Sorry.

Don't be.

I had a fight like

that once, too.

With my dad.

Good for you.

No.

It wasn't, it was never good.

For anybody.

I see what you're saying,

but I don't completely

agree with you.

There is something I could do.

I can be there for you,

just like you're

always there for me.

Probably do a better job

with that sort of stuff.

I know we can.

And I think we should.

What are you scheming?

What makes you

think I'm scheming?

Don't play games

with me, Cassandra.

Okay, there is something

I want to talk to you about.

Are you okay?

Oh yeah, no, I'm fine.

I wanted to talk to

you about my lease.

Your lease, what about it?

It's up in a

little over a month,

and I'm thinking of moving.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

Ugh my God, I totally wanted to

talk to you about

this in person.

And I know you

like living alone,

but other best friends live

with each other, Marge,

it's not a crazy proposition.

I know, I know.

But, I thought that you

liked living alone, too.

Ah, it's losing its appeal.

My whole lonely

lifestyle is rapidly

losing its appeal.

(laughs)

It's not funny.

I'm sorry, I'm

not laughing at you.

You totally just

laughed at me.

Right in my face.

If I had been recording

this, I'd have proof.

And who says I'm not?

Okay, okay.

I've stopped.

Right.

I'm serious, though.

I wanna at least

live closer to you.

I miss you, boob.

Living closer would

be f***ing awesome.

Right?

That doesn't mean

you're off the hook

with the roommate proposal.

I know you probably

need some time,

but I think that

should be option 1A.

[Margaret] What

about the commute?

I'll be saving a

shitton in rent, Mags.

I'll just buy some

paperbacks for the train.

Screw that.

I'll steal 'em from you.

They'd be given freely.

(laughs)

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes