The Wackness Page #4

Oh, come on.

They're all 18.

Since when is

the drinking age 21?

Bye, Haydn!

- Since forever.

- F***ing Giuliani.

Look around you, Luke,

is this what you want for your mind?

For your life? You want it to be

like this city?

Sweep all the nasty bits under the rug?

Make everything okay?

He puts the homeless people in prison, you know?

These people are sick, mentally.

They're being put in jail.

What do you think about that, Luke?

- Doesn't seem right.

- No.

No, it doesn't. That's why

I don't want you on medication, Luke.

You may as well open up a Starbucks

in your brain. You follow me?

Don't jump for the quick fix.

This whole f***ing city wants a quick fix.

Embrace your pain.

Make it a part of you.

You don't want to be like them.

I don't want you to be like them.

So, you've never taken

any of that stuff?

Jesus, Luke, I'm on all of it.

I don't want you to be like me, either.

Sex is a drug too,

you know?

More powerful than any

synthetic pharmaceutical.

Yeah? Is that why you go around

trying to f*** little girls?

That was just

second base.

Oh, second base, huh?

Hey, what happened to getting fixed first?

Sometimes getting laid

is getting fixed, you know?

Except for dogs.

Now break out that blunt.

- This is a joint.

- Joint. I know that.

- Why'd you do that, Luke?

- Tag this wall?

I'm just kind of putting my stamp on it,

f***ing let people know I was here.

- It's illegal, isn't it?

- It is.

- May I?

- You may.

- Just be careful.

- Careful.

M.D.

- Excellent penmanship, Dr. Squires.

- Why, thank you.

- Oh, no, I thank you.

- No, no, no, I thank you.

- Oh, you're welcome.

- M.D.

- Hey! You two!

- F***!

Stop right there!

Forrest Gump, Luke.

- What are you talking about?

- Running.

Oh!

Who put you up to this, boys? Giuliani?

You got some kind of quota to fill?

Used to be,

you could lick a sheet of acid,

hold up a bank,

f*** a whore in Times Square

without any of you batting an eyelash.

Now, one blunt, we're in the clink.

This whole city's f***ed.

We give you character!

Hey, shut the hell up!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Come on, now, brother.

Join the revolution!

- What are you in here for?

- I stabbed my wife in the p*ssy.

Oh, wow!

Yo, Squires, maybe we should

keep this on the DL, all right?

- Yo, DL!

- Quiet!

- Hey, shut up!

- Please, come on!

Shapiro!

Squires!

You made bail.

Bail.

- Hi there, Stepdaddy.

- Hi, precious.

- Hey, Steph.

- Shapiro.

Thanks a lot for getting

my stepdad thrown in prison.

You know, you're really

a great influence on him.

- But it wasn't my fault.

- It was my fault.

I know. I was kidding.

Anyway...

- What are you doing today?

- Shapiro's busy.

- No, I'm not.

- Yes, you are.

Okay, well, look, Squires, why don't you

just take the car back to the garage,

and I won't tell my mom

about this whole prison thing

and Shapiro's

coming with me.

Don't touch

my daughter, Luke.

- Stepdaughter.

- Stepdaughter.

So, what's the deal

with you and my stepdad?

Are you guys,

like, gay together?

- We're friends, I guess.

- Weird.

Not really.

- He's very immature.

- I know.

Him and my mom fight about that

all the time.

I know.

We got more in common

than you think, Steph.

Now, I've got something new for you.

Step up and tap. Go up and tap. Long body.

Remember that knee?

Give me one knee here and then a grapevine.

Hey.

Don't you wanna know

where I was last night?

Do you want to tell me?

- I was having an affair.

- Good for you.

I was in prison.

I went to jail.

That's nice, Jeffrey.

I'm taking a nap.

# Give me all the chicken heads

From Pasadena to Medina #

# Bet big

Get in between you #

# Then pick

the prognosis doses #

# Blends and bends

like twizzlers #

What are you

staring at, man?

I'm looking

for my reflection.

Yeah, you're not

gonna find it in there.

No sh*t.

That water's mad dirty.

So, how come we, like,

never hung out in school?

'Cause I was a loser.

I mean, not like a loser-loser,

you know, but

I was definitely the most popular

of the unpopular.

Or maybe the most unpopular

of the popular.

Maybe.

Either way, you're

mad out of my league.

- So what, I'm slumming now?

- Perhaps.

- You want a beer?

- Yeah.

# Never thinking

for a moment, baby #

# That you'd be thinking

of me, too, yeah #

# So I can't wait for the day #

Very handy.

# I can't let you walk away #

Who is this?

Notorious B.I.G.

Just came out.

Real dope.

You should make me

a mix some time.

- Put this on it.

- Definitely.

# Our love was meant to be #

# You were meant for me #

# Oh, baby, can't you see #

# What you do to me #

# Our love was meant to be #

# You were meant for me #

# Every time I see you #

No, dude,

what are you doing?

Nothing.

# Telling me you are the one #

Yo, did it feel good?

Let's try it again.

# I can't wait for the day #

# That we can be together #

Weird.

# Oh, can't you see

You and me #

# Were meant to be, oh, baby #

# There's nothing left

for me to say #

# Oh, baby, can't you see #

# What you do to me #

# Our love was meant to be #

# You were meant for me #

# Oh, baby, can't you see... #

- Thank you.

- All right, bye.

# You were meant for me #

# You take me away

So far away #

# Oh, what you do to me #

# I wanna be alone together #

# Somewhere just you and me #

# Oh, baby, can't you see #

# Oh, baby, can't you see

What you do to me #

# Our love was meant to be

You were meant for me #

# You were meant for me #

# Oh, baby, can't you see #

# Oh, baby, can't you see

What you do to me #

# Our love was meant to be #

Yo, Mom.

Hello.

Can I make you

a sandwich?

Absolutely.

- Where have you been?

- I think I'm in love.

Well, that's wonderful.

Who's the lucky girl?

Stephanie Squires.

- You're up late.

- Oh, hi. So are you.

You have a nice day

with Luke?

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Nothing.

Do you like him?

I don't know.

What do you care?

Do you like-like him?

Maybe, yeah.

- He's a drug dealer.

- Yeah, I know. Thank you.

Look, I'm really not in the mood for a

father daughter moment right now, Dr. Squires.

Well, may I watch TV

with you?

- Whatever.

- Cool.

So, fill me in.

Well, basically there's been, like,

this big misunderstanding,

- and Mr. Furley thinks Jack's gay.

- I think I've seen this one.

Oh, good morning, Luke.

You're up early.

Couldn't sleep.

It's mad hot.

What's that?

- We're getting evicted?

- Keep your voice down.

I'll take care of it.

I've got a very big deal coming through.

It's not a problem.

- Where will we go?

- I don't know. Downtown, maybe? Jersey?

Not everyone has to live

on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.

Well, I can't live

in Jersey.

Look, I messed up,

and I'm trying to fix it.

- Then fix it.

- All I can do is try.

Be a man, Dad.

Fix it.

What can I do, Luke?

Deal pot?

I don't think you'd be

very good at that.

# "Can I Kick It?"

by A Tribe Called Quest #

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