The Way Ahead Page #8

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Certainly. If they'd like it.

As long as he doesn't

practise in the barracks.

- It's a bit near the company office.

I used to study jazz, sir.

If there is another concert, I could

probably do some hot drumming or crooning.

Spare us that.

- What are you doing in the next concert, Ted?

- Concert? Who, me?

Oh, I couldn't do nothing, sir.

We wouldn't want a shambles like last time.

There must be something you can do.

Well, I might... tell a few of my stories.

I don't think the brigadier

would like that.

Maybe he wouldn't like 'em in public, sir, but

if I could get him alone, he'd be delighted.

I don't know. I tried that once.

Captain Edwards seems quite pleased

with the platoon.

- What, with us, sir?

- Apparently, we've improved a lot.

How do we compare with the others, sir?

Oh, they've been at it a good deal longer

than we have.

- Well, we can do anything they can do, sir.

- Yes!

I'll hold you to that.

By the way, I heard something

else that might interest you.

Leave starts next week.

What, for all of us, sir?

Here, sir?

Have you heard that one about the old man

with the long white beard in the nudist camp?

This is Crewe. Crewe Station.

Crewe.

Jim!

Passengers for Liverpool, Shrewsbury...

Jim!

..and Hacklesfield should change here.

Come on, London train.

- What will you do when you get home?

- Put slippers on.

- What after that, Ted?

- Send the kids off to the pictures.

- Hello.

- Good afternoon, sir.

- Have a good leave.

- Thank you, sir.

Two whiskies.

Are those the awful men

you wrote to me about?

No, that's another lot. Quite different.

- So that's his missus, eh? A nice bit of stuff.

- Turn it up, will you?

- Porter, Cardiff?

- 10.43. This platform.

- What's happened to the old 10.31?

- Took it off.

Go on! Lovely service, that was.

- Is the Glasgow train over the bridge?

- Yes.

Is that us?

- Certainly is.

- Kensal Rise, here I come!

- Come on, Ted. Ta-ta, Geoff. Ta-ta, Luke!

- See you down there, eh?

Home sweet 'ome.

Workers' Playtime!

- Turn it off.

- I want it on.

- Turn it off, I say.

- No!

- Turn it off!

- Ted!

She's your daughter.

She's got a mind of her own, too.

All right. Turn it up a bit louder.

- I suppose the Army's still all potato-peeling.

- No.

You should have joined the Welsh Guards.

They sing beautifully.

Light Infantry move faster, Mrs Daniels.

- What's this on your cap?

- Badge.

I know that, Evan, I'm not daft.

But what does it say? Tala...

There you are. Talavera

was a battle we fought.

- Did you win it?

- Of course. Those are battle honours.

Look at the rest - Busaco,

Barossa, Sabugal.

- You can't fight any war without infantry.

- Infantry stuff's as old as the hills.

Air power, tanks - they're the new weapons.

Engines of war.

The only engine the infantryman has

is his body, which has limitations.

I don't agree.

- What I mean is...

- Listen, Sam.

An infantryman is one of the most

highly-skilled technical men in the Army.

He has to be a mechanic, a gunner, an explosives

expert and an athlete, to begin with.

He has a greater variety of weapons

than all the rest of the Army put together.

Then he has to be trained in not just

one sort of tactics, but in every sort.

Street fighting, tank hunting,

wood clearing, and all the rest.

That's what we're going

onto when I get back.

Has the quality deteriorated, Mr Thyrtle?

Not really, Mr Davenport. It's old stock.

Of course, those cupid birdbaths that used to

be two guineas, they come out at 4.10.0 now.

Purchase tax, of course.

If I were the public, Thyrtle,

I'd do without a birdbath.

- That's what it does.

- It does?

But the public must be made to buy.

Has the war completely

deprived us of initiative?

Watch.

Yes, madam. What can we show you?

What happened to Betty and Joyce, then?

Betty's in munitions, Joyce is in the ATS.

Got her commission.

Should've thought you'd

have got yours by now.

Oh, they tried to get me to take one.

I didn't want it.

No stripes, no pips, no responsibility.

Just a nice easy life with the boys.

Ssh, Tracy!

Mummy, there's an enormous stickleback.

- She is sweet.

- It's been such fun, Jim.

Yes.

Back tomorrow.

I wonder how much longer it'll last.

Stands to reason, Rommel or no Rommel.

Attack Italy. That's what I say.

Only, let the Dogs do it.

Leave it to the Guards, or the Greencoats,

or the Skirts, or the Umbrella Danglers,

and it ain't worth doing.

But put the old Duke of Glendon's

Light Infantry...

I daresay, I daresay.

But the reason why we won't do it, is because

Rommel's going to be in Cairo by Christmas.

In any case, Hitler intends to synchronise his

Egypt push with a blitzkrieg on Gibraltar.

He'll have to do more than that, eh, Dicky?

It's all very well for you to laugh.

You'll see.

This time next year, we'll have

our back to the wall, and who's to blame?

The people at the top, what are they doing?

Sitting back and doing nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

If you were the only girl in the world

And I were the only boy

Nothing else would

matter in the world today

We would go on loving in the same old way

A Garden of Eden just made for two

With nothing to mar our joy

I would say such wonderful things to you

There would be such

wonderful things to do

If you were the only girl in the world

And I were the only boy

Are we all here?

- Come on, Macready.

- Sorry, sir.

Well, I've called this meeting

because I've got some news for you.

The information I have is security,

so I know I can depend on you

to keep your mouths shut about it.

- Is that understood?

- Yes, sir.

I don't know very much about it myself,

but we're going abroad.

The circumstances are rather unusual,

because, for security reasons,

we're not getting ordinary

embarkation leave. Instead...

- Are they still there, Sergeant Major?

- I don't know.

It would be something

if we got our marching orders.

Yes.

The lads need it. They're fully trained

and fighting fit. They want action.

I don't blame 'em.

The papers may have forgotten

Greece and Crete, but I haven't.

- What do you say?

- Yes, I reckon you've earned it all right.

- Well, so have you.

- I'm getting on, Ned.

Mobile war's a young man's job.

Office work's more in my line nowadays.

I can see it in the old man's eye.

- Ah, you're kidding. Office work, you?

- Well, I've got plenty of it, ain't I?

- Good evening.

- Good evening, sir.

- Hello. I thought you'd be in the mess.

- No, sir. Just clearing up one or two things.

Well, the Colonel's given

us some good news.

Oh, yes, sir? What er...

sort of good news, sir?

We're going on a two months' course,

towards the end of October.

- What er... kind of course, sir?

- Something new.

- Must be. We've done nearly everything now.

- It's important. Leave's been put forward.

I see, sir.

Everybody has to have their seven days

by the end of September.

Very well, sir. I'll see the sergeant major

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