The Wedding Pact Page #3

Have a good flight.

Mahalo.

- Good afternoon,

ladies and gentlemen.

Please make sure you are

with your bags at all times.

Do not leave bags

unattended.

- You okay?

'Cause you don't look well.

- I-I don't like flying.

- Oh, God, me neither.

It's just gross.

Hey, look, uh...

I was gonna pound half of this

before the flight.

No need to waste it.

You wanna share?

- How'd you get that past

security?

- I lifted it off

a duty-free.

- Welcome to the amarillo

international airport.

For your safety,

please obey the following

airport guidelines.

- Drink deeply.

Yeah.

- Oh, my goodness.

Come to daddy.

Mm.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Mm! Mm!

- Oh, yeah, baby.

- Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

You're welcome.

- Good afternoon,

ladies and gentlemen.

We are now boarding

aloha flight 3345

to Honolulu.

- Um... That's me.

Is that you?

- Uh, that's me.

- Yah, that's us.

That's good.

That's us.

All right.

All right.

I'll, uh... See you on the plane.

All righty.

Keep that.

It's for you.

- Boarding group 4.

Only those passengers

with a 4 on their boarding pass

should come to the gate.

- Ah! We're going down!

I'm so sorry.

It's my phone.

I'm sorry.

It's Dave.

Hello.

- Dude, oh, good, I got you.

Where are you?

- I'm boarding right now.

- No! Get off.

I was wrong.

Elizabeth

is not in Hawaii.

She's.

- Yeah.

- Your pilot's drunk.

- Don't get on the plane.

- Where am I going?

- She's in Pasadena.

- Pasadena?

- You're welcome.

- Morning.

- Morning, honey.

- Anything in there

that I need to know?

- Once again, not unless

you like politics.

- Mm, my favorite.

I don't know how you read that

day after day.

Doesn't it drive you nuts?

- If you don't read

about what's going on

in this country, Elizabeth,

how can you expect to be

an educated voter?

- Vote?

What's that?

Mom, I'm kidding.

God.

- I was thinking

of going over

and taking in a movie today.

Care to join me?

- I would love to,

but I have an appointment

with Mrs. Stanton and her kids.

- The family you sponsor?

- Yeah. They're part of

my training.

Three weeks, and then

I'm a full-time social worker.

And I have to go

get ready for work.

What time did they say

buddy was gonna be ready?

- 5:
00.

- Thank you.

- Turn on rush in the car.

- She must be unlisted,

'cause I got nothing.

- No, I know, I tried...

I tried everybody.

What would you do...

did you try Becky?

Maybe you should give

her a call.

- Oh, Becky?

- Hey.

- That chick scares me.

- Ah...

Yeah, try Becky and then

get back to me, all right?

- I'll text her.

- Okay.

Take care, buddy.

- Peace!

- God!

- Don't freak out.

- Whoa... whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa.

- What the hell

you doing with my girl?

- I wasn't doing anything!

- Shut up!

- J-just don't cut me.

- I said shut up.

- Damn it, Eddie,

just leave me alone.

- So, uh... How long

this been going on?

- There's nothing going on.

- He gives me

everything you don't.

- What?

- What?

- You just don't love me!

- So I don't love you, huh?

Then what's this then?

- What the hell am I

supposed to do with that?

- Fine.

Choke on it.

- Hey!

Is that how you want her

to remember the big question?

Listen,

do you know how long

some people wait

their whole lives

to be with the one person

they love,

and you two morons

have found each other,

and you're wasting

precious time

acting like children.

Now, she obviously loves you

if she's jumping in a car

with a complete stranger...

Right?

- Right.

- Looking to get your attention.

Now, he obviously loves you

if he's willing to go

to prison for life over you.

- Well, it'd probably be

10 to 12 for good behavior.

- The point is the two of you

are right here right now,

and you know what you want.

- I'm so sorry, baby.

I just get worried

you're gonna leave me.

- I love you so much,

and I want you to be

my one and only.

- Oh, Eddie, I just want you

so bad right now.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Why don't you hop back here

and give me some

of that sweet-smelling sugar.

- I'm, uh...

I'm gonna step out.

- Daddy's waiting

for you, baby.

- New car, caviar

living like a superstar

she's no hater,

just a taker

bona fide love faker

just a hard heart breaker

looking for a money-maker

hey

- I wouldn't know,

but I imagine

the sex right after a marriage

proposal's pretty good.

I just hope it's quick too.

And not messy.

- Round,

get that dirty money

round,

you'll never take it from me

give her bling,

diamond rings

give her gold by the pound

money money money money

makes the girls go round

- Four-letter word...

For a female ending in "unt. "

Ha.

Aunt.

A-u-n-t.

Carter residence.

- Mrs. Carter.

Yes.

- H-hello?

H...

hello?

Damn it.

Yes?

- Mrs. Carter...

- whatever you're selling,

I'm not buying.

But thank you for trying.

- You on the cell phone,

pull over now!

Welcome to California.

- Hello.

- Hi, Mrs. Carter.

Please don't hang up.

- Who is this?

Is this acorn?

- No. My name's Mitch Becker.

I'm an old college friend

of Elizabeth's.

I was trying

to get in touch with her.

- Uh-huh.

Pecker.

- No. Becker, with a "b. "

- Oh.

Oh, Mitch!

Mitch!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

- I was trying to get

in touch with Elizabeth.

I'm in town.

I'd like to see her.

- Oh, she'll be so excited

to hear from you.

Oh, my goodness.

Listen, do you have

one of those g. S.P. Thingies

in your car?

If you do, you could meet her

at the dog groomer.

She's picking up her dog

at 5:
00.

- That'd be great.

Um...

- Well, let me get you

the address then.

Oh, she'll be so surprised

to see you!

- Hi, Lizzie.

- Hey, Sally.

Is buddy ready?

- You betcha.

I'll go get him.

Thanks.

Knock it off!

Shut up!

Hey, I said quiet!

Go see mommy.

There she is!

- How are you?

How do you feel, boy?

- He did great, as always.

- Oh, thanks.

You wanna go

on a run later?

Okay!

- How's the training going?

- Good. I'm almost done.

Sounds crazy back there.

How are you?

- Uh, honestly,

I'm thinking cats.

Buddy, no!

- Ohh!

God!

- Oh, my gosh!

Buddy, stay!

Bad dog!

Sir, are you okay?

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Are you all right?

Oh, my God, I feel so bad.

- Elizabeth.

- Mitch?

Back soon, mom.

Welcome home, buddy.

Pink toenail Polish.

I got beaten up.

- I'm speechless!

- No.

It's really you.

- It's really me.

- You look great.

- I was just about to say

the same thing about you.

- So what are you doing here?

You look like you need

to tell me something.

Are you sick?

You're not sick, are you?

- No. No, no.

Uh...

What about you?

Last I heard,

you were married.

- Hmm. Uh, no, not yet.

I was going to,

and that didn't happen.

It wasn't, um...

Really my choice.

What about you?

- Me.

- Mm-hmm.

Married?

- I would have thought

you'd be married by now.

- Funny you should say that.

- Why?

- It's...

It's funny because I...

I, um...

Have to go to the bathroom,

and I will be right back.

- Okay.

- Excuse me.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes