The Wedding Pact Page #4

Oh, come on, Mitch.

Get it together, man!

You've been waiting on this.

It's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be good.

You got this.

You got this.

Really. 'Cause now you're

talking to your penis.

That's fantastic.

Great.

Elizabeth...

We made a promise

to each other

ten years ago.

I'm here

to honor that promise.

I'm here to say to you,

"will you marry me?"

I'm sorry.

- Good luck, bro.

- Jake, remember

how I told you about

my college best friend

who was a guy,

and you said

that it was impossible

for guys and girls

to be friends,

'cause the guy always wants

to get in the girl's pants?

- Well, no, babe, what I

actually said was only guys

who are friends

with attractive women can't be.

- Jake Jones, meet my college

best friend Mitch Becker.

- How you doing?

- Nice to meet you.

- Oh, wait a minute.

I do remember!

Yeah, from some of the college

photos that you showed me.

- Yes!

- I didn't recognize you

without that perm.

- Ha ha ha.

- Knock it off.

- I'm just messing around.

Friend?

- Friends.

- Good. That's better.

Because I could not have you

come to my wedding

hating my fiance.

- Huh?

- Jake and I

are getting married.

- Really?

Congratulations.

When?

- Ten days.

- That's fantastic!

- You should stay

for the wedding!

Would you?

- Well, while he

contemplates that,

I'll go ahead

and pay the check.

- I'll get it.

- Okay.

- Just tell him

I'll be there in a sec.

I'm on my way, okay?

God!

Oh, wait a minute.

I have something for you.

- You do?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here you go.

- No!

Babe, it's beautiful.

Thank you.

- Wait a minute.

I just gave you a wedding ring.

I need a little something

extra than that.

Mmm.

- Mm. Thank you.

- She didn't think I could get

the ring resized

in time for the wedding.

- I didn't say that.

- But I did,

and she was wrong.

Like she always is.

- Okay, don't listen to him.

I am not always wrong.

- Oh, really?

What about the Christmas party

last year... remember?

- You're gonna bring up

the Christmas party?

- Yeah, I'm... you gotta

hear this, rich.

This is hysterical.

- Mitch.

- We're at this lame

Christmas party last year,

something for her mom's

whatever.

- Nice.

- They finally break out

this karaoke machine,

so I start doing

a couple of ll cool j songs.

It was hilarious.

Seriously.

- Honestly, it was awful.

- It was awesome.

Are you kidding?

The early stuff.

Not the later crap.

Anyway, so we get ready

to leave at the end of the night

and then Elizabeth here

starts dousing

her Debbie downer spray

all over the place,

getting on my case

about drinking too much,

having too much fun,

we gotta call a cab.

- So did you?

- No, I didn't call a cab.

She called a cab.

But I was fine to drive.

- No, you weren't.

That's why I called the cab.

- Point is

is that she was wrong.

She was wrong about that.

She's wrong about this thing.

She's wrong a lot of the time.

- I think we get it, okay?

- I think it's cute, though.

- Hey, okay. Um...

How about where I could

get a hotel around here.

- No. You'll just stay

with me and my mom.

- Whoa, whoa,

we got a big week ahead of us.

We got the wedding.

We got the race.

- What race?

- Jake and I have been training

for this couples marathon

for like six months.

- Couples marathon.

- Yeah.

It's a pretty big deal.

They only let like

12 couples even do it.

- You should come

with us tomorrow.

- What, you want him

to go to the race too?

Yeah, fine, why don't you come

to the bridal shower

while you're at it?

- Well, I don't want to impose.

- You're not imposing, and I'm

not gonna take no for an answer.

We have the perfect

guest room.

- Okay.

- And you'll stay

for the wedding?

- Sure.

- It's gonna be

just like old times!

- Just like old times.

- Sweetheart,

we really gotta get going.

- I have to go see Jake's dad

for a couple of things

for the wedding,

but I'll see you at the house.

Do you remember

how to get there?

- Yeah, yeah.

It's in the GPS.

- Okay. See you.

- Later, rich.

- It's Mitch.

Turn left.

In one mile, turn left.

You have arrived

at your destination.

- Yello.

- Yeah, hey, it's me.

- Oh, hey!

- Yeah, good job, nostradamus.

She's getting married

in ten days.

- All right, that's great!

- No, not to me.

- Oh...

I did not predict that.

- Yeah. I got a prediction.

When I get home, I'm gonna...

- Hi.

- Hi, Joyce, how are you?

- Good to see you.

- You too.

- Could you please tell my

father I'm here to see him?

- Sure.

- Thanks.

Sir, your son is here.

No, he's with Elizabeth.

Oh, okay.

You can go in.

- Thanks.

- Thanks.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

He just said Jake,

Elizabeth.

- Ah. It's okay.

Just go.

Damn it.

- Didn't I tell you

to come alone?

- She was with me.

What could I do?

- You drop her off at home

on the way.

Have a seat.

- What do you want, dad?

- Big Chinese exporter's

thinking about hiring this firm.

- That's great, but what does

that have to do with me?

- It always has something

to do with you.

Don't you wanna run

this firm one day?

- Are you thinking about

letting me handle the account?

- No. What,

do you think I'm crazy?

- Then why am I here, dad?

- Um...

You and, uh,

you and her doing okay?

I mean,

the wedding's still on?

- Well, if by her you mean

Elizabeth,

then the answer's yes,

the wedding's still on.

- She sign the prenup?

- So that's it?

Good old dad looking out

for the family interests?

And forget about love,

but let's just make sure

the money's safe, right?

- Did she sign the prenup?

- Yeah.

Yeah, she signed it.

Two days ago.

- Well, that's good, son.

That's good.

I can't afford any...

I mean, we can't afford

any problems,

any surprises.

The Chinese believe

that a good home life

is essential

to a good work life,

and their vetting process

is extremely thorough.

Any shenanigans

could blow this whole deal,

and we're talking big dollars.

I would appreciate it

if you didn't

embarrass your family

or this firm.

- Not to worry, dad.

I'll do my best

not to embarrass you.

- Good. Now that we're

on the same page,

you can go.

- Is this it right here?

- Yeah, this is it.

Oh, buddy, get down!

- Oh, that's okay,

Mrs. Carter.

I'm a dog person.

- Good news for you,

buddy.

Look,

I call you Mitch.

Why don't you just

call me Donna?

- Okay. Thank you, Donna.

- You're welcome.

You're welcome. If you need

anything, ask buddy.

- Okay.

- All right?

I'll be right downstairs.

- Thank you.

- Hi.

Now what, huh?

- You're not gonna

say anything

about what just happened

in there?

- You know, I think

it's really ridiculous

that you got this guy

staying at your place.

- Who, Mitch?

What's wrong with Mitch?

- Elizabeth, it's ten days

before our wedding.

Now, all of a sudden,

you have some ex-boyfriend...

- he's not my ex-boyfriend.

- That's right.

He's your best friend.

And ten days before

our wedding,

he decides to shack up with you

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