The Wedding Party Page #4

You go take your side,

I will take mine,

we meet back in one hour,

and off to our honeymoon.

Great idea.

You know, like only

if you're into it.

No, if that's what we need to do

to make tonight perfect, then...

That's what we'll do.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Now break.

Pull my finger.

Pull my finger.

No I really needed you

to pull my finger, but...

Out of rolls.

Yo, homeslice!

You got any butter?

It's buffet style man!

I can't get everything!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.

Butter.

Yeah.

You should cut it off.

Aw dude, tried man.

The ring's too thick.

Not the ring, the finger.

I once chopped a finger

clean off, making cannoli.

Blood gushing all over

the caramel and sh*t,

f***ing disgusting.

And then, I just took that

sucka to the hospital...

Gave it to the docs,

and they just

re-attached it later.

What kind of knife did you use?

Colt, don't chop

your finger off.

And do not use butter,

olive oil is way better.

Olive oil.

So nice of you to

finally join us,

I mean, this cake was only

supposed to be here oh,

this afternoon.

I have a really good

excuse, all right?

I forgot the wedding was tonight

and I had to pull

an all nighter.

So you're just

a professional Baker

and you forgot you

had a job today?

So glad that Greta's doped out

and did not hear that.

Is that the girl

that ate 900 dollars

worth of samples?

There's been a mistake.

Yeah, hiring

this guy as their Baker.

No, no, no, no, no.

This is the wrong cake.

No, first of all, our cake's

supposed to be red velvet,

and secondly...

This has a black couple on top.

So?

So our bride and

groom is white people.

Here I thought we live

in a post racial society.

No, no, no, no, no, we

will keep the cake because

thanks to you we don't

have any other choice,

and you know I'm sure

it's still delicious,

and it costs them...

Holy sh*t man.

That's robbery.

Robbery, that's crazy.

Cake is art.

Look, this isn't a racial thing,

we just want a

white cake topper.

I only brought will and Jada.

Of course you did.

Okay, we will improvise,

we'll find some

wite-out and we will

make them Caucasian, yeah.

You want white face?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

So, you were saying you

teach hot yoga or something?

I also mentioned

that I'm in engineering

management and information

sciences consulting,

but yes I teach hot

yoga on Saturdays.

Do you think you'll

stay in Tulsa long or...

Uh no, I feel like a

big city's kind of always

called my name.

Big city, la is a big city.

London has shitty

food, Chicago...

Chicago's actually

awesome but...

I'm in la.

Okay, well consider

it considered then.

All right.

Could we see what's

next because I just wanna

go to the bar.

Ooh, cancel a flash mob, yes.

Hey.

Hey Bethanie.

What you girls up to, huh?

Running from boys?

Oh no, pastor Kyle.

We are here to

celebrate the holy union

of two pious Christians,

so, here we go.

And Greta, huh?

Well she's stoned, excuse me.

On Jesus I hope.

Well...

All right, here we go.

Stand up straight, Greta.

Look, it's really

not that complicated.

We all go out on

the dance floor,

perform the routine that I

sent you on YouTube, yeah,

and we wear these masks.

That is terrifying.

Yeah, no, Sean, I

don't think that anyone

is gonna actually do

any of that, yeah.

Okay, so you're gonna

force me to do like

a one man flash

mob, what do you...

At that point I think

it's just called a flash.

Oh, flash.

All right, took that

easy, all right what's next?

Let's see, next we

are going to make sure

that the alcohol

inventory is stocked

and then smell check the staff.

That's exactly what

I got from that, so.

Hey, just honing in on Katie

Samuels, 11th grade French.

How's my breath?

Not ready yet, okay.

That poor, poor girl, okay.

Serious question about Skyler.

About his hair?

So that is his hair?

Yeah it's his hair.

He bought it online and

glued it to his head,

it's his hair.

Shut up.

No, you're not serious.

I mean I've never got

100 percent confirmation,

yet I am 100 percent sure.

So wait, wait, wait,

how does it work when he's

trying to take a girl home?

Does he tell her

on the date or like

they get in the

bedroom and he's like

"surprise, look, I'm bald,

look at my head, hey."

It's like he lives in

the golden age of bald men.

Total social acceptance

to buzz your head.

Willis, Statham,

f***ing Matt Lauer.

Head buzzing pioneer.

He looks amazing.

He looks great.

I would go on a date with him...

I'm ready nerds, out of my way.

Okay.

Katie Samuels?

11th grade French, gotcha.

Skyler, right?

Yeah?

Yeah, you...

You look...

Wow.

Thank you.

Wow, I mean...

That's great, but

you, I mean you...

Look absolutely stunning.

- Oh thank you.

- Katie.

Hey.

Pastor Kyle.

Hey.

Sorry about missing Bible

study the other night,

it's just that I had this...

hot date?

No.

Come on.

Yeah, come on.

Well...

So um...

Yeah, I'm super thirsty.

So I'm gonna hop up and

just go get myself a...

beer?

Can I...

No.

Soda water would be like,

exactly what I want.

Ow.

Can I please, thank you.

Yeah, you guys just

go and have a good...

What the f***, Kyle?

You just cockblocked me man.

Whoa, whoa, hey.

It's pastor Kyle now.

That's some language

you're using there man,

what's going on?

What's going on?

What the f*** is going

on with you, Kyle?

All right, I once saw you, yeah,

at a frat party in a hot

tub with your whole...

I guess I can't even

repeat it, can I?

No need.

I was actually with

Katie Samuels, so.

Oh...

I'm praying for you man!

Save it!

Hey.

What's going on?

I don't know why, but...

I was just thinking about...

I was just thinking about

when you left for college.

You know, at the time I figured

our friendship would be over,

fall outta touch, whatever.

But then...

But then when you were

getting in your car to leave,

you remember what you said?

You said "I'll see

you in a few weeks."

Yeah, that was technically true.

No, yeah, but then at

the end of fall break

you said the same thing again.

"See you in a few weeks."

The holidays came,

and spring break.

You keep saying the same thing,

"see you in a few weeks",

the time between would get

longer and longer in between,

but you just always would

say "see you in a few weeks."

It's got me thinking...

Now that I'm settled

here, you're out there...

We probably won't see each

other much at all anymore.

Come on, things

aren't gonna change.

I already have, man.

Anyway.

You know, I think

we're pretty lucky.

Colt got that ring stuck on

his big stubby finger, right?

Seriously, if you

hadn't talked to me...

I was gonna bolt.

Dude, it was just cold feet.

No.

No, it was more than that.

It was me thinking about like...

All the marriages I

know that have failed.

Your parents are in

functional marriages.

Not to each other.

Plus, on top of that...

Margene's dad paid

for everything here.

I can't afford to give

her a perfect wedding,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes