The Wedding Party Page #6

to ask you to dance?

You should've just cut in.

Yeah, but...

That guy.

Zeb.

Yeah, football

playing douchebag.

Zeb.

Yeah, Zeb.

No, no, Zeb.

What the f...

Why is he, no one

talks to that...

You have to hide me.

Right now.

- What, why?

- We have to go.

Nope, gimme the binder,

bye, bye, bye, bye,

bye, bye, bye.

Where are we, what

is happening right now?

Do you still talk to this guy?

Hi, how's it going?

Everybody looks

so lovely tonight.

Okay bye, bye.

Take this, take this.

I'm gonna take this.

- What, okay.

- So you take this.

He has no idea who I am,

god, he's coming this way.

Okay, yep.

Buffet, buffet, buffet, buffet.

Nope.

Gonna just not be okay.

All right, nope, nope, nope.

Yup.

Is he behind us?

He knows my ass, we have to go.

We have to go, we have

to go, we have to go,

we have to go,

okay bye, bye, bye.

Kitchen.

Oh my god, why?

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm good, I'm good.

Oh my god, I uninvited him.

Wait, wait, wait.

Why is he here?

You were dating Zeb Buckman?

Okay, do not judge me.

It was college

and it's like this

on again off again thing

we just, we've always...

Okay, and now you're...

Off again.

No, he is a lying,

non-committal flirt

who gets way too many

medically necessary massages.

We are on a break.

It's buffet style people,

buffet style, get it yourself!

Jesus!

Nobody respects me, man!

I hear ya, Maximiliano.

I hear ya man.

Blaze on.

Yeah.

Thanks bro.

Dude.

Everybody thinks

that I'm a f*** up.

Is it getting any looser?

Not at all, man.

I mean yeah, sure, big whoop.

I have screwed up in the past.

You know.

Maybe the old saying is true.

There are no second acts

in American history.

Wait, who said that?

Uh...

F. Murray Abraham.

Oh yeah.

Dude, I got hopes.

I got dreams.

I haven't told anyone this.

I auditioned for

the band out there.

What?

Yeah.

Dude, it would be like

1998 all over again.

The glory days of swing

before the f***ing

gap commercialized it.

Mhm.

Sexy horn, maxi!

You're in the band!

Oh yeah.

Dude, give me a chance,

I'll bring back swing.

Dude, it'll be the

swing revival...

Revival.

I didn't even get a callback.

Good talk bro.

So, what is he here to like

win you back or something?

I'm not gonna say that it

like hasn't worked before,

but I mean god, haven't

you seen the man?

He just, he looks like a

f***ing Ken doll and I can't...

Sorry, that's weird.

It sounds stupid, I know,

I know but it's just...

It's been going

on since college,

and it's always just been super

f***ing casual and it's...

F***!

Okay, how long into

casual does something like

cease to be casual.

- Hey.

- God!

What's up?

Hey, just hiding, you?

Hiding.

Throw rice or

bubbles during the...

oh, we talking about

the myth that if you give

rice to a bird they'll explode?

Not a myth guys,

that will happen.

Okay, you know what?

I'm gonna grab a bag of rice

right now, bust this myth.

Hey, can I get a bag of rice?

You okay?

Yes.

Nope, yeah, I'm good, so good.

We just, you know,

haven't seen each other

since everything so it's...

You wanna like, ignore him?

We can stay in here...

no, no, ignore him?

Please, absolutely not.

I just, am waiting for

the courage to come

so that I can just go out

there and just f*** with him.

And you know what?

You, ooh.

You said that you would

stick by me all night,

so you're gonna help

me f*** with him.

Yep, come on, let's go, uh huh.

I...

Okay.

Wait, Alex.

Alex.

No, no, no, not ready.

No, no, no, no, no.

I was never fingered

in high school.

I also never went out on a date.

But for some reason,

this bothers me more.

I was too busy with clubs

and grades for boys,

so I didn't kiss a

boy 'til college,

and by the time a boy

had sex on top of me...

My...

Junior year...

It was too late.

I realized I missed

out on something.

That time when it

was new and exciting.

But no.

No boys wanted to finger me,

let alone do me.

I didn't even have

a date for prom.

The prom I planned.

I wanted to dance, have fun.

To be fingered.

Fingered with love.

God, is that Buckman?

The whores at Orpha's

lounge are gonna freak out.

You're my f***in' hero, man.

Okay.

One, two, three!

There it is, all right.

Thanks hombre.

You have a great night, okay?

You too man.

Thanks for coming out.

You've got to be kidding me.

No, no, no, let's go.

He's right there.

Let's go.

He's getting taller

as we get closer.

Zebediah Buckman.

Hey, there you are.

Hi, okay, what's...

Why are you here?

Uh, I'm your plus one.

No, see you were

my plus one but then,

you know, remember,

we went on a break,

so now that actually

makes you my minus one.

Yeah, I was actually hoping

we could talk about that.

Jim, you remember Jim right?

From high school?

Oh, we have just been talking

and catching up all night.

Hey Zeb, how's it going?

Heard you weren't

playing ball anymore,

what's up now, like

coaching little league?

Aw, jokes!

No, actually.

Turns out Mark Hyduke

over at Peakmore,

he's a big sooner fan.

So the Duke's got

me doing the whole

natural gas, land

acquisitions thing.

Now look, I don't

really get it...

But I make a lot of money,

so I won't complain.

I won't, I won't.

I heard you were out in

Hollywood making like...

Movies and sh*t.

He is.

Yes, yeah I am.

In fact an editor.

We're off to the

language of film.

You know, it's hard work,

it's important work.

Yeah.

It's thankless work.

Okay.

Mostly I'm at a

computer for hours

just like sifting

through footage

trying to make that perfect

scene in a dark room, alone.

Oh god, this guy, he's

so stinking humble.

You know, he was actually

just voted by Hollywood

as one of the top

creative minds.

Sh*t.

Sh*t's right, who you texting?

Michelle?

She still part of your rotation?

You know what, I

don't give a sh*t.

I don't give a sh*t.

We're gonna go dance, bye.

Alex...

Do you think that

made him miss me?

Yeah, how could it not?

I don't really, I

didn't plan on dancing.

No seriously, I didn't...

I'm just not in the mood to...

No, you planned

this, this is crazy.

Baby, baby, looks

like it's gonna hail

this is crazy.

All right, what do we do?

Oh, ah, turn, yes.

Kick, yes.

Oh!

Jump!

Oh wait, I like these.

Remember yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh!

But a man ain't

nothing but a man

yeah a woman ain't a woman

but a man ain't

nothing but a man

one thing about 'em

he knows how to jive and wail

yeah, you got to jump and jive

then you wail

you gotta jump and jive

then you wail

you gotta jump and jive

then you wail

you gotta jump and jive

then you wail

you gotta jump and jive

then you wail, you

wail, you wail, you wail

you wail, you wail,

wail, wail, wail

why do we...

how did that just happen?

That was crazy.

It was terrible.

We just, we can't let it go.

We can't let show

choir go, that's good.

That's amazing.

Okay, I'm gonna go to the bar.

Yeah, I'm gonna get

us a beer, you...

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