The Whole Ten Yards Page #4

...I'm gonna kill you.

- Right, baby?

- Yes, sirree, Bob.

- I wish Cynthia got kidnapped more often.

- Me too.

I'll just put my wife in danger whenever

you guys have problems in the bedroom.

What problems? What problems?

I didn't say anything.

Is this what you two talk about

on the phone behind my back?

How would you like it if I talked to Cynthia

behind your back? Sit down.

- You're causing a scene.

- You grabbed my face.

The front part of my head.

Yes?

He bought three one- way tickets to L.A.

Los Angeles? Interesting.

All right, so we cut them off at the piss.

Just like John Wayne,

we ride up over the hill.

You two in the Porsche. All right?

When we get to L.A., we strip it,

make a few dollars and then torch it.

But for now, you hot- wire it

and follow us. All right? Come on.

- Can we stop the horseplay for one second?

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Okay, so we had a car. My car.

My $80,000 car.

Then we're on a bus.

And now we're renting a car.

This doesn't make any sense.

- It will.

- I ordered...

...a black cup of coffee, all right?

A black cup of coffee.

I screwed up. I apologize.

Well, do I have to wait another 20 minutes

for your screwup? A black cup of coffee.

- I'll get a fresh cup.

- You're still standing there.

- You're still standing.

- I apologize.

Bye.

Hey, pal?

Why don't you give the girl a break.

She already said she was sorry.

- She's just working for a living.

- Right.

Why don't you mind your own business.

- A**hole.

- Oh, no.

Where was I?

I was just gonna remind you...

Now, son, you're never gonna be

as mean or rude...

...to a waitress or anybody that brings you

food like your dad just was, are you, son?

- No.

- Real good.

Eat all your corn. Grow up to be big

and strong like your Uncle Jimmy.

You see, Oz? I'd be a great father.

I just taught that kid

not to be mean to waitresses.

You know, we could

make this a real party.

- What, we need more balloons?

- Oh, Strabo.

I love your name.

No, Strabo, I mean, you and me...

...well, we could make this, you know...

...a fun party.

- Oh, you mean you and me...

- That's right.

- I've always had a little crush on you.

- I've always sensed that.

- You did?

- Yes.

- I guess Jimmy just moved a little quicker?

- Well, Jimmy is as good as...

And so you and the dentist...

Things not so well going?

To tell you the truth...

...I kind of miss the excitement.

And I like your hair that way.

- Long.

- You're making me blush.

That's good.

Give me one good reason to trust you.

- Well, I can give 280 million.

- What?

- What are you talking about?

- Your father never told you?

What?

What's so funny?

What's so goddamn funny?

Strabo.

Your daddy thinks you're a moron.

- Anya!

- Coming.

Anya, you watch the broad.

- Where you going?

- I'm going to the bus station.

- Find Papa.

- My God.

Anya, can I use your bathroom?

Yes.

All right, I got your cream cheese

and scrambled egg.

- That leaves you with the tuna.

- I don't like tuna.

- Start liking it.

- Okay.

I thought of a reason

why you don't have to kill me.

What wouId that be, dentist?

What if they didn't trace me through my car?

That's a hell of a thing to hang my life on.

- Only thing to hang your life on is trust.

- You want mustard?

Yes, honey, thank you.

What, no Jewish prayer

before our ham and cheese?

You got a problem

with my religiosity, Oz?

Do unto others before you're

turned into a pillar of salt.

Exactly. Unless they're a rat.

Then you can shoot them in the eyes.

- A pillar of salt?

- That's right. Moses said that.

Read the Bible, Oz.

Eat up, dentist.

It could be your last meal.

If they don't show up,

you're gonna shoot me? Is that it?

- That's the size of it.

- And let Cynthia die too?

I told you before, I don't care

what happens to Cynthia.

Oh, yeah, sure. That's why you're still

wearing her crucifix around your neck.

No, wait. I'm sorry, what?

- What did you say was Cynthia's?

- Did I say something?

Two years we've been together

and you never mention...

...you wear a present from your ex- wife?

- It wasn't a present.

- Where's it from?

- I don't know.

It's Cynthia's. Her grandmother gave it

to her and she gave it to Jimmy.

You say you're not a squealer?!

Looks like you got a reprieve, Oz.

Oh, thank God the killers are here.

So check the bus?

As opposed to...

...just looking at the bus?

Yes, check the bus!

Let me out of here. Hey!

Let me out of here.

Come on. Open the door.

Perfect. Right on time.

Your wife's as good as home, Oz.

I know you're in here.

- Looking for me, Strabo?

- Oh, sh*t.

Anything tricky, I blow your ribs

across the parking lot. Let's go.

- The rat's not here.

- Not here.

The Jimmy...

...is watching me right now. I can feel it.

Hey, Lazlo.

- No, no, no.

- Look what I got.

- I'm sorry, Papa.

- Man, did you get old.

- I like the whole Liberace thing, though.

- How long you think you can hide from me?

Where are you going with this?

I'll call you to tell you where we'll

make the exchange with Cynthia.

Any of your knuckleheads follow this car,

I start throwing out body parts.

Feet first.

You harm...

...one hair on his head...

If they have Strabo, who has girl?

Answer. Answer, Mother.

You okay, darling?

- What's up, Jill?

- Nothing.

Open the trunk.

Don't even think about it.

Thank you.

- I think you nicked his head there.

- I'm sorry. I didn't see you.

- What is your problem, Jill?

- Nothing.

- I don't have a problem.

- Good.

Why don't you go and check us in.

Okay.

I wouldn't mind you wearing it,

it's just so ugly.

- Just throw it away.

- I can't.

- You still have feelings for her?

- It's sacrilegious.

- Why not give it back to her?

- I haven't seen her since my nickeI in Joliet!

Where does he get sayings like that?

We aren't gonna talk much, are we?

There is something

really wrong with you, Jill.

- You're still in love with her.

- That's insane. Isn't it?

- Why don't you let me take it--

- Tell you what:

- Jimmy, Jimmy.

- I love you, Jill.

But if you touch this crucifix,

I'll kill you. That's a promise.

This is my good luck charm.

I take it off, I'm jinxed.

Wanna see me dead, Jill?

Do you?

Sometimes, yeah.

- I'm going to check in.

- Can you believe this?

- Well, 47 percent of couples at some point--

- You know, you've got a very long face.

Like a goldfish...

...or a Shetland pony or something.

- Bring Strabo, Oz.

I gotta have you...

Where is she?

Look, how nice. Everybody is still here...

...having a little repast. Isn't that lovely?

Where else would I be?

I don't know.

One would venture a guess.

A question could be asked:

where have you been?

Big loft, very drafty. I understand.

Get me Figueroa on the phone!

Mr. G., Frankie Figs is dead.

How sad for him.

Try calling the one who's still alive!

Jill. Come on, open the door.

Jill!

Jill, will you come on? Be sensible.

Apologize.

Jill, honey, I'm sorry

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