The Witches of Eastwick Page #4

I didn't have time to change.

What's your excuse?

I don't need any. I was invited.

So was I.

Hello!

Mm. Darling!

There you are.

- Are we late?

- Not at all.

Weren't we playing singles?

- You don't play tennis.

- I do now.

Sukie. At last we meet.

Hi. Hello. How are you?

Let me...

look at those eyes of yours.

You are a fertile creature, aren't you?

Thank you, I think.

I'm reading that rag of a newspaper.

You are a genius.

Wasted. Pearls before swine.

When are we going to do our interview?

I love interviews.

- They're so intimate.

- Anytime you say.

Just the two of us,

banging away, head to head.

Yes, yes.

But not today.

Today is for tennis.

Are you ready, ladies?

What a day!

What a day!

Is that your perfume?

Double fault!

I'm not blind or deaf!

You don't have to shout!

We're all good friends.

Let's play fair.

I always play fair, okay?

Love-forty, Jane.

"Okay?

- What do you mean?

- Don't let them rattle you.

They're just trying to get you.

Let's go.

- Uhn!

- Ah.

Sorry, darling. Lost my head.

Fault.

Ow!

I've got it! I've got it!

It's not coming down.

Come on.

Our game. Sukie serves.

Stop!

Good going, Daryl.

Jane!

Strong drink. What is it?

Rum... vodka...

brandy...

acid.

I'm only kidding.

I don't mind.

Drugs have no effect on me.

- Really?

- Neither does alcohol.

It's true. It's boring, but it's true.

Are you going to seduce me too?

Yes.

How?

I don't know.

I should warn you. I get pregnant.

I get pregnant all the time.

At the drop of a hat.

I could borrow your toothbrush

and get pregnant.

I'll keep that in mind.

That doesn't bother you?

No.

You're not like other men.

- I'm not.

- Uhn-uhn.

Most men, well, my husband,

try to keep everything under control...

pretend everything is normal.

Always rational,

always an explanation for everything.

Men need that, don't they?

To feel everything is solid.

And the world just isn't like that.

Certainly not with you three around.

I don't think...

We're not so different from other women.

Women are more natural, right?

And nature is crazy,

no matter what science says.

So I don't mind.

I don't mind when peculiar things

happen. It's natural...

because the world

is a peculiar place.

And you're a very peculiar person.

Thank you.

I would love to be a woman.

You would? Really? Why?

Just look what you can do

with your bodies.

Make babies and...

make milk to feed the babies.

If I could do that...

Who are you, really?

Anybody you want me to be.

Look at what they can do.

These are human beings.

When you're a kid

and don't understand anything...

you think when you grow up

it will all make sense.

Then when you grow up,

you keep waiting for the day.

You think it ever happens?

It starts when you open your eyes and realize

what the future has in store for you.

And what do you see

when you open your eyes?

Well...

It's a short life, isn't it?

Sometimes I look in the mirror

and I see everything...

disintegrating faster and faster.

I always see snakes.

Hundreds of them.

They crawl all over me and I disappear.

Then I'm just not there anymore.

Well, I don't mind that it's a short life

or growing old or disappearing.

It's the pain that scares me.

I don't know why there has to be...

so much pain.

Yeah, well...

We don't deal the deck

down here, we just...

play the percentages.

Whores.

Whores.

What?

- Whores!

- Shh, Shh, Shh.

- Whores.

- Sit down, sit down.

Look around you.

Look around you.

Do you see what's happening?

In our town.

In our very homes!

You know who I'm talking about.

You know!

You know what's going on in that house!

Vice!

Perversions!

Shamelessness!

Cavorting...

With that devil!

She's fine. She's sick.

No! Drugs! Drugs are next.

Murder!

Rape!

Incest!

Spanish flies!

D*ldos! Anal intercourse!

Listen to me!

- Please.

- Sorry!

Let's go home, Felicia.

You employ one of them, Clyde.

That's nobody's business.

Oh-ho. It is everybody's business!

You know, once there was a paradise.

Then a serpent came into that garden.

For Christ's sake, Felicia,

would you stop?

On, Clyde.

I have nothing against a good f***.

But there is danger here.

Somebody has to do something about it.

Okay, stop.

Stop! Stop.

Um...

Let's get rid of the music.

Throw it away! Get rid of it.

Let's get rid of the music.

That's it! Right. Okay, now...

I want you all to close your eyes.

Take a deep breath.

Let it all out.

Now pick up your instrument...

and when I count to four...

we'll play the sh*t

out of this thing.

One, two, three, four.

That's it, just relax.

Take it easy. Good.

Nice!

Smile.

Come on, smile, Martha.

That's it, this is fun.

Come on, this is easy.

Easy-peasy. That's it, that's it. Good.

Just let it flow over you. Good.

Let it tickle you now.

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

Good! You've got it now. Come on!

Go with it, it's yours! Come on!

Good! Yes!

See? You can do it. That's it.

You're doing great. Flow with it.

That's it, yes!

These aren't phrases,

these are human outcries!

Oh.

Double-double chocolate.

These are fabulous.

Mm-mm.

Excuse me.

Are you buying the paper or not?

- Um...

- Slut.

What did you say?

You heard her.

Did you see her socks?

She's not wearing a bra.

How could you do this?

We didn't use any names

except for Van Horne.

You don't know what goes on there.

The whole town is talking

about you and your friends.

This is so unfair. It's also untrue.

- No, no, no, no.

- Yes.

He filled in the wetlands

and ruined it for the birds.

He altered the landmark building...

and the town is suing him

for $2 million.

How can you do this to me?

I work very hard and you know

I'm a good writer.

All right, Sukie, all right.

- What?

- Look, look.

I don't own the newspaper, you know.

It's Felicia, isn't it?

She's a...

very sick woman.

She's having a very bad time.

And I don't know what to do.

I want her to see a doctor.

Well, not a doctor, you know,

but a... doctor.

Clyde.

We went to high school together.

She was a catch.

Ever since the accident, she just

hasn't been the same. And now...

I'm so sorry, Clyde.

What am I doing?

Firing me.

Oh.

All these terrible things she says...

they're not true, are they?

We should stop seeing each other.

- Oh, let's not overreact.

- Yes, let's not overreact.

- I think we should.

- It's a small town, Daryl.

We haven't done anything.

Why stop seeing each other?

Clyde says that Felicia has visions.

Why is it always women

who have visions?

She sees the devil here in Eastwick.

If you were the devil,

would you come to Eastwick?

Oh, I don't know.

Poor Felicia.

Poor Felicia? She talked

to all of my students' mothers.

I had 12 cancellations this week.

People tell Carol her mother is a dyke.

You're being sued for millions.

That is inconvenient.

She's not kidding about

her medieval morality.

I think Sukie is right.

Maybe we should stop.

Maybe she should stop.

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