The Woman in Red Page #4

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"Tickets at airport. 8:30 flight. Stop.

"Return San Francisco tomorrow. Stop.

Russell Loughry."

No.

- No?

- No.

I'm not going.

- Teddy!

- I'm not going.

No.

I am not going.

Well, how can you say no?

Easy. No. You see that?

That's not so difficult, is it?

I'm not going! I don't care if they fire me!

I'm not leaving my wife and kids!

Don't act like a child!

Teddy! Stop.

Wait a minute! Hold the plane!

Wait for me!

Hold it! Wait!

Ladies and gentlemen,

we are beginning our descent into Los Angeles.

Please fasten your seat belts,

extinguish all smoking materials...

Finished with your drink, sir?

- What's your name?

- Polly.

Polly?

- That's a lovely name.

- Thank you.

- Thanks very much, Polly.

- Sure.

Sure, you make the announcement.

Ladies and gentlemen.

The captain has just informed me that

L.A. Airport is closed due to heavy fog.

We will be landing in San Diego. You'll receive

further instruction once we're on the ground.

Thanks a lot.

Hello?

Hi, honey.

I was running from outside.

I heard the phone ringing.

No, it's okay.

Go ahead.

I took Shelly and the girls to a movie.

Well, don't worry about me.

I have to study, anyway.

Shelly, please get out of my bedroom.

Are you afraid?

What?

Teddy, why are you giving me all these details?

- I am going to scream.

- So will I.

Of course you're in San Diego.

Where else would you be?

- I am going to tell your mother.

- She already knows.

What?

- You're crazy.

- I want to marry you.

Yes, there's plenty of food.

Don't worry about me.

Shelly!

Of course I miss you.

Me, too.

I love you.

Me, too.

I love you. Bye-bye.

Are you going to finish the game or not?

You got any Hershey bars?

While Didi was waiting for me

in San Francisco...

...Charlotte was waiting in Los Angeles.

Two women waiting for me

in the middle of the night.

Crazy as it seems...

...I had adventure in my life.

Surprise of surprises.

Next day, Joe's wife came back with the kids...

...and the furniture.

Why she suddenly forgave him, nobody knew.

Eric?

Is there an Eric?

Come on.

The next couple of days were full of surprises.

Hello, Ted.

I just wanted to say,

"Good morning, and have a lovely day."

Hello?

Hello, how are you?

The best surprise of all

was a phone call from Charlotte.

I thought I wouldn't see her again...

...but she called to find out

I got back all right from San Diego.

During our 35-minute stroll,

I realized I was still in a deep fog.

Here you go.

The only unpleasant surprise

was that in two days...

...Joe was back in form.

He's scared.

At 2:
00 in the morning, he could fool me.

What's the problem?

You go over, you get into bed, you say:

"Dr. Schumacher, I've got a chill coming on.

I thought I'd better get under the covers."

You guys want to play some checkers?

Miss!

- You know where I can buy some checkers?

- That's embarrassing.

I'm in the mood to play a little game

if you have some time.

- I'm very good, really.

- Yeah, right.

She wasn't wearing a bra. Did you see that?

Did you see the way they bounce?

You'd kill for that, Teddy. You'd kill for that.

- I didn't notice she wasn't wearing a bra.

- You're weird.

- I looked at her, though!

- You're weird.

He's a weird guy, isn't he?

- Did you notice that she didn't have a bra?

- What do I know, 'cause I see it every day?

You poor b*tch.

It's open.

- How you doing?

- Good.

I thought you'd painted this place.

I was going to, before I moved in with my friend.

Well, you've got a nice chair.

Thanks.

- What color you gonna paint?

- Shocking pink!

This man walks into a doctor's office,

he says, "Doctor...

"...I have a terrible problem.

I can't remember anything."

And...

...the doctor says...

...I mean, the man says:

"I can't think of...

"I don't even remember words.

"I can't retain a word.

"There's nothing that I say that I can remember."

And the doctor says:

"How long have you had this problem?"

And the man says, "What problem?"

That's your best joke?

You'll be all right.

It just takes time.

You want to see something? Look at this thing.

I feel silly.

- What if I had a date?

- You won't have a date.

- I said, "What if I have a date?"

- You won't have one!

I know I said that. I said, "What if I had a date?"

If you have a date, I'll be your chauffeur!

All right.

- The joke is over.

- A bet's a bet.

What was this bet?

I told him if I couldn't get him

his new car by tonight, I'd be his chauffeur.

- So, where are we going?

- We're going to Mama Dell's.

You're going on your first date

to your grandmother's?

No, you silly!

We made this date and I remembered

it was Mama Dell's birthday...

...so I called her and I found out

she's gonna be all alone on her 85th birthday.

We'll drop by for five minutes,

just to have a glass of champagne.

But I'd feel terrible,

because I know it would mean so much to her.

- You don't mind, do you?

- Of course not.

You don't feel concerned at all that...

- What?

- Well, no, I'm just saying, you know.

You know where...

Didi?

Didi and Mama Dell

don't even talk to each other.

Okay.

Who's Didi?

Who's Didi?

Didi...

Didi is...

Didi is Teddy's other grandmother!

Funny woman.

Can't mention her name, but it makes you laugh.

What a kidder!

That Didi.

Will you do me a favor,

and come up for three minutes?

She loves you.

Two minutes. We'll have champagne...

Okay, I'll just come up to say hello

and give her a kiss. But I can't stay.

- All right, I'll see you in two minutes.

- Driver, you can't park here.

Don't give me a hard time.

I'll be a couple minutes.

I'm not giving you a hard time.

You either move the car, or I call the police.

Go ahead up. I'll be right up.

- See you in a little while.

- All right.

- You look beautiful tonight.

- Thank you.

- You smell very good. What is it?

- Sandalwood.

Don't worry, we don't have to stay long.

She'll understand.

- Is that you, Teddy?

- Mama Dell.

Come in, honey.

What's going on here?

You trying to save on the electricity bills?

Mama Dell?

I'd like you to meet a...

"Happy birthday to you

"Happy birthday to you

"Happy birthday, dear Teddy

"Happy birthday to you"

Well!

How do you like that?

I don't believe it!

No. Gilbert!

- What are you doing here? You're in Arizona!

- Happy birthday.

But my birthday's tomorrow.

Ain't no surprise tomorrow.

Steetsy, what're you doin' up so late?

- It's Steven, now.

- All right, no more Steetsy.

- Happy birthday, honey.

- Thank you.

Thank you, baby. Thank you very much.

You! Devil-woman!

Happy birthday!

- What're you doin' to me?

- You should've seen the look on your face.

You know why?

Because it's supposed to be your birthday!

- Didi.

- Happy birthday, sweetheart.

- Happy birthday, Daddy.

- My little baby!

- Happy birthday, Daddy.

- Another little baby.

Daddy, you smell good.

Did I introduce you?

Didi.

Well, let me introduce you.

I was just so overwhelmed.

I'd like you to meet...

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