The Woman in Red Page #5

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This is...

Everybody, please say hello to...

You know, you really caught me off guard,

you silly people.

No, honestly, you did. You're silly!

You're just silly people.

Anyway, no, I do want you to say hello.

- I want you to meet...

- Where's Mama Dell?

Where's that girl? Hello, darling.

Didi. Hello, darling!

Hey, you lost some weight there,

you're lookin' great!

How are you? I didn't know it was a party!

- We didn't know you were coming!

- I'm not coming. I mean, I can't stay.

I just wanted to come by

and give the birthday girl a kiss!

Happy birthday, sweetie pie!

- Did you say hello, Charlotte?

- Hello.

This is my sweetheart, Mama Dell.

This is my sweetheart.

I love this girl!

Hello, Charlotte.

- Sit down, Charlotte.

- No, we can't stay.

- We've got tickets to a...

- It takes two minutes!

She's crazy about music! What can I tell you?

No, she a stickler for being on time.

She's trying to reform. No, we can't.

It's a family party, everybody.

Happy birthday, Teddy.

I'll give you your present tomorrow.

Good-bye, Mama Dell. Happy birthday!

Say good-bye.

Say, good-bye, Charlotte.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

All right. Good-bye, everybody.

Yeah, Daddy, hurry up.

Hold it! I'll be right there.

Bye, Mama. Thank you for everything.

- 'Bye, cuz. See you tomorrow.

- Happy birthday, Teddy.

Bye-bye.

Bye! Come back soon.

- Now, I told you, you cannot stay up late.

- But let me watch this one show.

No!

If it's cotton, and if it's blue, you can't go wrong.

Now don't go neurotic on me.

I loved that present.

Teddy!

I'm sorry. It's your birthday.

I hate to run interrupt your celebration.

He's flipped out. I think he's gonna kill himself.

- I don't know who you're talking about.

- Joe!

She left him! She walked out.

I don't know what happened.

- Where is he?

- Across the street.

I'm really sorry.

- Teddy's like the voice of reason.

- You did right. It's terrible.

- I'm terrible at this kind of stuff, Didi!

- Michael!

- Joe, I'm right here. Will you talk to me?

- She left me. I gotta kill her.

Joe, calm down.

- You leave me alone so I can kill her!

- Joe!

I gotta kill her!

I gotta kill her!

- Calm down! Just calm down.

- Let me kill her.

You'll be all right.

Take it easy, you stupid bastards!

I'm finished.

I'm done!

Calm down!

I'm finished!

- Teddy, should I go home?

- Yeah!

- What?

- Yes! Go home!

It's okay.

- Do you have a key?

- Yes! Get the kids out of here!

All right! Girls, go on. I'll be there in a minute.

- She took my kids again.

- Get in the car.

- Why did she take my kids again?

- It'll be all right tomorrow.

- I want to kill her!

- Get in the driver seat.

Get in the car.

- Shut up, down there!

- Up yours, you half a hard on!

Let me get that peckerhead!

Joe, I know you're in a lot of pain,

but I want to tell you something.

No, Teddy! I want to tell you something.

- "Happy birthday to you"

- No.

- "Happy birthday to you"

- No.

- "Happy birthday, dear Teddy"

- You fucks! You f***ing jerks!

"Happy birthday to you"

You're babies, you're little babies,

the biggest a**holes I've ever seen my life!

- We never said we weren't a**holes.

- I said I was an a**hole.

Where are we going? Will somebody tell me?

- Somebody wants to see you.

- She's modeling from midnight till dawn.

And she wants you for breakfast.

What am I supposed to say to her?

You say to her,

"Hello, angel-face, you want to see my goods?"

Get out of here! She wants you. Move it!

- It was her idea. Ask Buddy.

- She likes you. Go figure.

What are you talking about?

Look at that face and those eyes.

Look at how that nose sparkles.

What more could you want in a guy?

- How am I supposed to know? Ask Buddy.

- Screw Buddy. I can go for him myself.

If he'd just shave his legs, like I keep telling him.

Shave 'em!

- Happy birthday, Teddy!

- Happy birthday, pal!

Wait a minute. Come here a sec.

Look, really, in all seriousness,

don't get your dick caught in your zipper.

- You have no taste!

- Taste? Who wants taste?

What the hell am I? Charlie the Tuna?

Get out of here. Let's get action.

We're running out of laughs.

Let's go to the opera, drop our pants.

Now, listen here, Teddy bear.

Four weeks ago...

...I met a cute, available...

...old-fashioned guy...

...who liked horse riding.

In one month...

...you got married...

...you had two daughters...

...and you can't ride a horse to save your life.

Don't stare at your shoes, look at me.

Because since tonight...

...I want you more...

...then I ever wanted any other man.

Can you tell me why?

I don't know.

You've been dreaming about this

for a long time, haven't you?

This isn't a dream anymore.

This is really happening.

So, where do you want to break the ice?

Here or in bed?

Well...

Let's see.

I don't mind really.

This is nice here.

The bed is good,

bed might be comfortable, but...

...lots of interesting chairs,

and stools, couches...

Come on, let's go to bed.

It's a water bed.

This should be fun.

Wait a minute. Do you come

into bed with your shoes and socks?

Sorry.

Don't want to start a fire.

They landed on the lamp.

Do you mind taking them off?

Sorry.

Come and get it, cowboy.

Hello?

Charlotte?

Charlotte!

Yes!

What is it?

Nothing, my husband's downstairs.

- Your husband!

- Yeah. Hurry up, come on, get dressed!

What do you mean, "Hurry up"?

What husband?

Please, hurry up!

- He wasn't due back until Friday.

- But it's only Wednesday.

Yeah, you want to ask him why?

He's six-foot-two and he's an airline pilot.

If he finds you here, he's going to kill you.

Get dressed.

What are you doing in my husband's robe?

I'm not going to get caught half-dressed!

Why play games?

I'll talk to him man to man, that's all.

Are you crazy?

He's going to tear your balls apart!

- What are you doing? Where are we going?

- Quickly, get outside!

- This is a window!

- I know it's a window. It's this or the door.

You must be joking! That's 100 feet down there.

Please! I won't be very long.

- Come on, Charlotte!

- I won't be long.

He's probably got a taxi waiting.

He never stays long.

Just stand out on the ledge.

- Please, quickly. Don't worry. It's safe.

- God.

- Now, just wait for me there.

- Jesus.

Coming, darling.

Get away.

Who is that?

My God!

Better call the fire department!

There's a man about to jump off of that building!

- What's up, babe? Where we goin'?

- Suicide.

No! Not the ladder! It scares them.

It makes them jump every time! Take it down!

Take it out of here, take it down!

Come on, people, a little cooperation here!

Let's have some cooperation. This is

a dangerous area. We've got a man up there.

Come on, folks.

Come on, folks. Give us a break.

Excuse me.

Roger, we got it!

- You got him?

- I got him.

Come on, people.

Okay, stand by.

Fine, we have reached the network.

Stand by. Counting down.

Five-four-three-two-one. You're on.

Good morning.

This is Marvin Kausberg, Channel 5 news.

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