The Women Page #8

about it right now, huh?

Or you wanna run off with a woman?

- Lf you did, this would be the place.

- Maybe a margarita and a woman.

I like that.

I think it's gonna be okay, ladies.

She's turned the page.

Yeah, I've turned the page.

I hired a lawyer today.

Mary, um, don't you think

maybe it's too soon for lawyers?

Let things settle down.

A month from now,

everything could look different.

- What?

- I know.

Okay, I'm gonna take a risk here

and say something that may be...

There are two sides to every story.

Any one of us is capable,

under the right circumstances...

...of making a very big mistake.

Right? Right?

And a good marriage counselor

might ask:

"And how were you culpable

in this marriage?"

Well, I married an a**hole.

That's how I'm culpable.

Which side are you on?

- I'm not taking sides.

Well, pick one.

I'm on your side.

- My money's on you.

- All right.

Okay. Here's what I wanna know.

I wanna know how somebody

like Bailey Smith faces herself in the mirror.

I wanna know how somebody can make a

living feeding off of somebody else's pain.

Mary, it's my fault.

Okay.

Bailey Smith knew

I was about to be fired...

...and she knew

that I needed her on the magazine.

So she practically blackmailed me.

I didn't give her any information.

She had all the details already.

She just said, "Nod if it's true. "

And that's all I did, is nod.

I was in a terrible position.

I was scared.

You know, people do terrible things

when they're scared.

And this is terrible.

I know that. I know.

What is going on with you?

Guys, I'm fighting for a job

that I've worked for my whole life.

What was it that you said, Sylvie?

You said that betrayal is inevitable

in any relationship.

I thought you were just talking

about marriage.

This is so much worse.

You don't have

what it takes to run a company like this.

Now, take a walk and never look back.

My father will never let you

get away with this, Ramona.

I'm sleeping with your father.

Who knows moisture better than Dove?

For God's sakes.

Middle of the afternoon.

Your daughter's gonna be home

from school any minute.

You want her to see her mother

in her bathrobe again, huh?

I don't look at clocks anymore.

It's very liberating.

Haines residence.

Oh. Hello.

Heh, heh.

Sure, I still recognize your voice.

Well, me?

Holding down the fort.

Uh...

I'll see if she's still here.

- It's Mr. Haines. He's on the phone.

- Oh.

Tell him I'm not here.

I'm a bad liar. If I were any better,

I'd be embezzling from you.

I don't wanna talk to him. I'm busy.

Okay, look, I'm the housekeeper.

I cook, I clean, I run errands

and that's it.

I'm not your secretary.

I'm not your mother.

I'm not your pal. I'm not involved.

Now, you get over here

and take care of your business.

Hello, Stephen.

I haven't talked to the appraiser.

I'll do it next week.

Let's go. Get out of here, come on.

Oh.

Well, I'm sure she'd love

to carve a pumpkin with you.

Well, thank you for the invitation,

but I think you two are...

You'd be better off on your own.

Because I wouldn't have the first idea

how to be around you right now, Stephen.

No, I already told you, it's over.

No marriage counselor.

I'll have Molly call you.

Oh, sweetie.

Oh, I am so sorry.

I didn't mean for you to hear that.

Mary, I know you're there.

Why won't you return my calls?

We have to talk about this.

Hey, it's bad form

to screen calls, Mary. Pick up.

Pick up.

- May I help you?

- Ahh!

What do you think you're doing...

...sneaking up on me like that?

What are you doing

casing the house like a Jehovah's Witness?

I am looking for Mary, okay?

I've left her a lot of messages,

and she hasn't called me.

- She's not here.

- Where is she?

Out of town.

- What about Molly?

- Molly is at school.

That's where the kids go

during the week.

Heh, heh. Cute.

Are we done? I have a lot to do.

Besides, your Pradas

are wrecking my perennials.

It's Jason.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

Ask him if he likes me.

No, you.

Oh, man.

Who's that?

One of my mom's friends.

- You'd better go.

- Okay, well, see you later.

See you.

Hey.

Small world, isn't it?

So why aren't you in school?

I didn't feel like it today.

Huh.

So this is kind of a new look

for you, huh?

I leave the house in my uniform.

And then after school,

I change into the stuff I hid in my backpack.

A lot of the girls do it.

Oh.

Clever.

You wouldn't happen

to have a cigarette, would you?

Thanks.

Hey.

- Does your mom know you smoke?

- No.

And don't tell her.

I do it so I won't eat.

Your weight is fine.

I hate my body.

I wanna look like the models

in your magazine.

Nobody looks like those girls, okay?

Not even them.

They're all airbrushed and retouched.

Then why don't you just put

regular people in there?

I know it's hypocritical.

Life is complicated.

Yeah, I'm just starting to figure that out.

Do you wanna talk about it?

No.

Okay.

How old were you when you had sex?

Thirty.

It was horrible. It hurt like hell.

And it was totally embarrassing...

...because we had no idea

what we were doing.

We were up in his room one night.

Big Farrah Fawcett poster

staring down on the bed.

Star Wars sheets, it was...

It was just tragic.

I didn't have sex again

for a really long time.

But then I met somebody,

and it was worth the wait.

We were crazy for each other.

And then magically,

and it was all really easy.

Basically, you're telling me exactly

what my mother would say...

...if I could even ask her.

Don't have sex until you're in love.

No.

No, I've had pretty great sex

just for the hell of it.

I won't lie to you.

But there's no sex like the kind

you have when you love somebody...

...and they love you back.

You'd make the coolest mother.

Really? No, I wouldn't.

Really?

I don't know,

kids don't seem to take to me.

You'd be a great mom.

Not like mine.

I can be in the same room with her,

and it's like she's not even there.

Listen to me, Molly.

I know you're going through a tough time.

And if there's anything you ever

wanna talk about, just call me, okay?

Promise you'll call me.

Tell me you promise.

I promise.

Okay.

So where is your mom, anyway?

All right, everyone,

take a deep, cleansing breath.

Look around.

Respect the power of nature.

This is why you have come to the Camp.

Let it heal you.

So divorce?

How many?

Hold on, I'm coming.

Don't start without me.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

I'm just not used to getting up at the crack

of frigging dawn. Excuse my French.

Is this the time you always start?

Because I'm pretty sure

the lake will still be here at noon.

We always canoe at dawn.

I always fake my orgasms.

That doesn't make it right.

Let's go.

Lift.

Swing.

- Hoist.

Oh, God.

You've got to be kidding.

Turn.

March.

Oh, please. God.

- Forget it.

- Oh!

I already tried it.

Oh, you scared me.

And how bad an idea was this

in a place with a padlocked refrigerator?

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