The Yes Men Fix the World Page #9

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HE'S STANDING RIGHT HERE,

THE MAN WHO JUST APPARENTLY

COMMITTED THIS HOAX

ON YOUR DEPARTMENT.

I'M ON THE PHONE

WITH HUD RIGHT NOW

AND THEY SAY YOU'RE A LIAR.

OKAY, WELL, THEY CAN SAY

WHATEVER THEY WANT.

- I'M SORRY.

- THEY CAN SAY

WHATEVER THEY LIKE.

"THEY CAN SAY

WHATEVER THEY LIKE."

BUT YOU WORK FOR THEM

- DON'T YOU,

AS A DEPUTY SECRETARY?

- THAT'S RIGHT.

NOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN

DISCOVERED, DO YOU WANT TO

EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU DID IT?

IF YOU'RE TRYING

TO MAKE A POINT,

WHY DON'T YOU

COME OVER HERE:

AND TELL ME WHY:

YOU DID THIS?

ALL RIGHT, MAN.

I'LL CALL YOU

IN A FEW MINUTES.

BUT IT IS A HOAX--

A MASSIVE HOAX:

PERPETRATED TODAY.

- YOU JUST PULLED OFF

A HECK OF A HOAX.

- THANK YOU.

IT-- I MEAN, I WOULD

SAY THAT, YOU KNOW,

HUD IS PULLING OFF

A HOAX BY PRETENDING THA TEARING DOWN AFFORDABLE HOUSING

IS WHAT'S GONNA SOLVE IT.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHA THEY'VE BEEN DOING UNTIL NOW.

THIS IS A TIME WHEN

ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE

CLAMORING TO GET BACK IN.

THEY WANT TO GET BACK

INTO THEIR HOUSING AND

THEY DESERVE TO BE THERE.

IT'S CRAZY.

- AND WORTH LYING

TO ALL THESE PEOPLE?

- OH, ABSOLUTELY.

ABSOLUTELY.

ACTUALLY TELLING THE TRUTH.

THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUTH-TELLING

WHERE NORMALLY THERE

WOULD ONLY BE LIES.

HOW DIFFICULT WOULD IT BE

TO REMEDIATE WHAT YOU

SEE HERE TODAY:

AND MAKE IT INHABITABLE,

SAY, NEXT WEEK?

JUST TAKE OFF THE--

TAKE OFF THE COVERS HERE.

OH YEAH, THAT'S

A GOOD START, YEAH?

- ABSOLUTELY.

- THAT'S IT.

FINALLY:

WE WILL BE REOPENING

PUBLIC HOUSING:

FOR THE RESIDENTS--

FOR THE WORKFORCE

THAT'S GOING TO MOVE BACK IN

AND AGAIN REBUILD

NEW ORLEANS.

Sick, twisted, cruel--

those are all words used

to describe the prank

on Louisiana officials

and about 1,000 contractors

in New Orleans today.

I'm deputy

assistant secretary,

to-- of the assistant,

essentially, of Secretary

Alphonso Jackson.

Rene Oswin can't get his title

right or his relationship

to HUD secretary

Alphonso Jackson.

After taking

the mayor for a ride,

these contractors followed him

to a makeshift ribbon cutting

at the Lafitte

Housing Project.

Mr. Oswin, you're not even

on the directory of HUD.

You're not even listed--

don't have a phone number.

It's come to that,

has it?

It's come to that.

Thanks for being the one

to break the news.

HANO, the Housing

Authority of New Orleans

says this is simply

a cruel cruel joke,

trying to give people

some kind of fake hope

that they were going to be

able to move back.

...THIS WHOLE

PRESS CONFERENCE.

I GUESS IT'S JUS TO CALL THEIR HAND.

I RESPECT THIS HOAX,

BECAUSE MAYBE IT'LL TAKE

A HOAX LIKE THIS

TO BRING THEM OUT HERE

TO SEE WHAT WE'RE

GOING THROUGH.

SO IF THE HOAX WHAT IT BE,

A HOAX IS WHAT WE GOT.

AND I AIN'T MAD.

I'M GRABBING ME

SOME BARBECUE.

Juakali:

I THINK WHA YOU GUYS EXPOSED

IS THE FACT THAT HUD

COULD DO THESE GREAT THINGS

IF THEY WANTED TO.

SECONDLY, YOU GO THE ATTENTION OF THE RESIDENTS

SO NOW THEY'RE GONNA

BEGIN TO ASK,

"WELL, WHY AREN'T YOU

DOING THESE THINGS?"

AND NUMBER THREE,

YOU'RE CREATING A CONTROVERSY

TO FEED OFF, TO ORGANIZE

AND TO BUILD A STRUGGLE

TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

SO IN MY OPINION,

EVERYTHING Y'ALL DID

WAS EXCELLENT.

IT HAD ALL BEEN WORTHWHILE.

WE WERE:

ON TOP OF THE WORLD.

BUT THEN REALITY BEGAN

TO SINK IN.

WE'D MADE A SPLASH,

BUT WE HADN' FIXED THE WORLD.

THE FREE MARKET WAS STILL

DESTROYING NEW ORLEANS.

ALL OVER THE WORLD,

PEOPLE WERE LOSING THEIR HOMES.

CLIMATE CHANGE KEP GETTING WORSE.

AND IN BHOPAL,

PEOPLE CONTINUED TO SUFFER.

WE REALLY DID NEED

TO FIX THE WORLD.

BUT IT WAS GONNA TAKE

MORE THAN TWO GUYS

WITH CHEAP SUITS

AND FAKE WEBSITES.

IT WOULD TAKE:

MILLIONS OF US.

BUT EVEN AS OLD REGIMES

WERE SWEPT AWAY,

WE KNEW THAT REAL CHANGE

WOULDN'T COME EASY.

AFTER ALL,

THE FREE-MARKET CUL WAS STILL HERE.

- WEALTH.

- MONEY.

- PRIVATIZATION.

- WEALTH.

- MONEY.

- FREE MARKETS.

- PRIVATIZATION.

- OWNERSHIP.

A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY.

NOW WE CAN AFFORD THAT.

REMEMBER THESE GUYS?

THEY'RE NOT GOING AWAY.

AND NEITHER WOULD WE.

WE NEEDED A REALLY

AMBITIOUS PLAN,

BECAUSE ALL WE EVER READ

IN THE NEWSPAPERS

WAS HOW WE NEEDED TO PU EVERYTHING BACK ON TRACK,

BACK TO HOW IT WAS

BEFORE IT FELL APART.

BUT HOW IT WAS:

WAS THE PROBLEM.

WE NEEDED TO SHOW WHA REAL CHANGE COULD LOOK LIKE.

SO TOGETHER WITH A WHOLE

LOT OF FRIENDS,

WE WOULD BLANKET MANHATTAN

WITH 100,000 COPIES

OF OUR VERY OWN NEWSPAPER.

WE'D CALL I "THE NEW YORK TIMES."

EXCEPT OUR "NEW YORK TIMES"

WOULD BE A LITTLE BI DIFFERENT.

OURS WOULD BE SET SIX MONTHS

IN THE FUTURE.

IT WOULD SHOW WHA COULD HAPPEN

IF WE SE OUR IMAGINATION FREE.

THINGS HAVE:

GOTTEN PRETTY BAD

AND I THINK IT'S HARD

FOR PEOPLE TO IMAGINE

THE WORLD WORKING

ANOTHER WAY.

SO WE'RE TRYING TO,

AS REALISTICALLY

AS POSSIBLE,

PRESENT THIS WORLD

AS IT COULD BE.

THEY JUST BROUGHT UP

THE PROOF:

OF "THE NEW YORK TIMES" AND I LOOKS UN-F***ING-BELIEVABLE.

REALLY GOOD.

The obvious question:

how the heck did you do it?

Andy, do you want to start?

How long were you working

on this thing

- and how many of you?

- There were a lot of us.

It wasn't just the Yes Men.

It was a large group of people.

We were just one of many groups.

It was an idea that sparked

a lot of people's imaginations.

They wanted

to see this happen.

And that's sort of the message

of the paper as well--

is "Great.

We elected Obama

and that's fantastic,

but now the real work

begins."

The idea was to put out

something that was optimistic,

that says we can do

all these things.

Why not?

We created the system that we

have now, so why not create

a good one instead?

- WOW, VERY GOOD.

- LET ME TIE YOU UP.

- THIS IS THE BIG DAY.

- "NEW YORK TIMES."

7:
00 A.M. RUSH HOUR,

THIS IS THE TIME

TO GET THE PAPERS

OUT THERE.

- MORNING. FREE "TIMES."

- FREE "NEW YORK TIMES."

SPECIAL ISSUE.

SPECIAL ISSUE.

"NEW YORK TIMES,"

FREE "NEW YORK TIMES."

SPECIAL EDITION:

OF "THE NEW YORK TIMES."

FREE "NEW YORK TIMES."

IS THIS REAL?

- IT'S FAKE, RIGHT?

- WHO PUBLISHES THIS?

CAN I GRAB:

ANOTHER ONE OF THESE?

- WHAT?

- WHAT?

"NATIONAL HEALTH INSURANCE

ACT PASSES."

SO THE PATRIOT--

THE PATRIOT ACT REPEALED.

"MAXIMUM WAGE LAW SUCCEEDS."

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE.

THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

BUT... IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE.

IT'S A DREAM NEWSPAPER.

RIGHT?

IT'S LIKE YOU WAKE UP AND ALL

THE THINGS THAT YOU WANTED

BECAME THE NEWS.

THE WAR'S OVER!

OUR FAKE NEWS WAS A HIT.

NEWSPAPER!

NEWS FROM THE FUTURE.

BUT WOULD THE REAL NEWS

PICK IT UP?

YOU DON'T WORK

FOR "THE NEW YORK TIMES."

WHO IS IT THAT YOU WORK FOR

- HANDING THIS OUT?

- A GUY NAMED JOHN-- JOHN SMITH.

- YEAH, JOHN SMITH.

- JOHN SMITH?

IT'S "THE NEW YORK TIMES,"

SPECIAL EDITION. IS THERE

ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT?

YEAH, IT'S NO "THE NEW YORK TIMES."

Read all about it.

"The New York Times" declares

the war in Iraq is over.

Some commuters got

their hands on what

looks like a special edition

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