The Yes Men Fix the World Page #8

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ECONOMICS, CAPITALISM--

IT'S GONNA TAKE OVER.

AND THE MARKETPLACE

IS POISED TO RESPOND.

SO THE GOVERNMENT DIDN' BELIEVE IN GOVERNMENT.

WE KNEW WHAT WE HAD TO DO:

WE WOULD BECOME:

THE GOVERNMENT.

AND WE WOULD FIND OU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN

IF GOVERNMENT DID

THE RIGHT THING.

WE ARE PREPARING

TO GO TO THE GULF COAS RECONSTRUCTION CONFERENCE

- AT THE PONTCHARTRAIN CENTER

IN KENNER NEAR THE AIRPORT.

- LET'S GO.

- YOU SHOULDN'T DRIVE.

SOMEBODY ELSE SHOULD DRIVE.

- OKAY.

SO IT'S ALMOST LIKE WE SHOULD

BE SAYING WE ARE FACING

A STATE OF EMERGENCY.

I'M GOING TO SPEAK AS HUD,

AS THE DEPUTY ASSISTAN OF SECRETARY OF HUD

WHO COULDN'T MAKE IT,

AND C.N.N. IS GOING

TO BE COVERING IT VE.

THIS CONFERENCE:

WAS TAKING PLA:

ON THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY

OF KATRINA.

A THOUSAND CONTRACTORS WHO

WERE REBUILDING NEW ORLEANS

WOULD BE THERE.

WHAT'S THAT?

OH MY GOD.

MAYOR RAY NAGIN COMING

IS A BIT MORE:

THAN WE EXPECTED

WOULD HAPPEN.

WHEN WE HATCHED OUR SCHEME

WE TOLD THIS GUY--

THE CONFERENCE ORGANIZER--

THAT WE REPRESENTED

ALPHONSO JACKSON,

THE HEAD OF HUD.

WHEN THE MAYOR AND GOVERNOR

FOUND OUT THAT JACKSON

WOULD BE THERE,

THEY HAD TO BE THERE TOO.

ONCE AGAIN,

THE KEYNOTE SPEAKER

WOULDN'T SHOW UP,

BUT HIS ASSISTANT WOULD.

WOULD THE MAYOR NOTICE

THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG?

AND WHAT WOULD:

THE CONTRACTORS THINK

OF HUD'S RADICAL

NEW APPROACH TO PUBLIC HOUSING,

AN APPROACH THAT COULD

COST THEM MONEY:

AND EVEN PUT SOME

OF THEM OUT OF A JOB?

...OF THE U.S. DEPARTMEN OF HOUSING AND URBAN

DEVELOPMENT.

SO IT'S AN HONOR

TO SHARE THE STAGE

WITH OUR TWO PARTNERS

IN RECOVERY,

WITH RENE OSWIN,

REPRESENTING HUD,

WHO'S DEFINITELY ONE

OF OUR MOST IMPORTANT PARTNERS

IN THIS REBUILDING EFFORT,

AND MAYOR NAGIN OF NEW ORLEANS,

WHOSE CHALLENGES ARE ENORMOUS.

AND I ALSO WANT TO STOP

AND THANK RENE,

WHO'S HERE FROM HUD.

HUD HAS BEEN AN INCREDIBLE

INCREDIBLE PARTNER WITH US.

WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF DOING

SOME REALLY UNIQUE THINGS,

SOMETHING THA WE COULD HAVE NEVER TACKLED

IN THE CITY OF NEW ORLEANS,

AND NOW WE ARE POISED

AND POSITIONED TO ENHANCE

PUBLIC HOUSING:

IN THE CITY OF NEW ORLEANS.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S LOTS

OF INFORMATION OUT THERE,

THERE'S LOTS

OF MISINFORMATION OUT THERE.

BUT I HAVE:

A FUNDAMENTAL BELIEF

THAT TRUTH AND LIE CANNO STAY IN THE SAME PLACE

AT THE SAME TIME.

REMINDS ME OF A STORY

I ONCE HEARD.

TRUTH AND LIE WENT SWIMMING

ONE DAY IN LAKE PONTCHARTRAIN.

THEY WENT SKINNY-DIPPING,

SO THEY LAID THEIR CLOTHES

ON THE BANKS.

AND THEY WERE OUT THERE

HAVING A REALLY GOOD TIME.

BUT THEN LIE ALL OF A SUDDEN

JUMPED OUT THE WATER

PUT TRUTH'S CLOTHES ON

AND STARTED RUNNING DOWN

ESPLANADE--

ELYSIAN FIELDS AVENUE.

TRUTH GOT OUT THE WATER

AND STARTED RUNNING AFTER LIE.

SO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WHAT YOU HAD WAS

A WELL-DRESSED LIE BEING

CHASED BY NAKED TRUTH.

THAT'S QUITE

A TOUGH ACT TO FOLLOW.

NOTHING LIKE THAT TO MAKE YOU

FEEL A BIT NAKED, EH?

UH... DEAR FRIENDS,

IT IS WITH THE GREATEST JOY

THAT I ANNOUNCE TO YOU TODAY

A BRAND-NEW DEPARTMENT OF

HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT.

EVERYTHING IS:

GOING TO CHANGE:

ABOUT THE WAY WE WORK

AND THE CHANGE IS

GOING TO START RIGHT HERE

TODAY IN NEW ORLEANS.

UNTIL LAST WEEK,

OUR M.O. HERE AT HUD

WAS TO TEAR DOWN PUBLIC

HOUSING WHENEVER WE COULD.

LIKE MANY FOLKS:

IN WASHINGTON,

WE THOUGH THE PROJECTS CAUSED

CRIME AND UNEMPLOYMENT.

WE WERE WRONG.

WHEN WE TORE DOWN

ST. THOMAS AND REPLACED I WITH MIXED-INCOME FLATS,

ONLY ONE:

OF 27 FORMER RESIDENTS

EVER MADE IT BACK.

AND THE REST HAVE FACED

MANY PROBLEMS,

IN SOME CASES:

EVEN HOMELESSNESS.

IT JUST DIDN'T WORK.

WE WON'T MAKE

THAT ERROR AGAIN.

THIS AFTERNOON:

WE WILL BEGIN TO REOPEN

ALL PUBLIC HOUSING PROJECTS

IN NEW ORLEANS:

AND ALLOW:

THESE AMERICANS TO BE PAR OF THEIR CITY ONCE AGAIN.

BUT OPENING DOORS--

THANK YOU.

BUT OPENING DOORS

WON'T BE ENOUGH.

AS YOU KNOW,

THE MAIN REASON NEW ORLEANS

WAS SO VULNERABLE TO KATRINA

WAS THE DESTRUCTION

OF THE WETLANDS.

I AM VERY VERY:

VERY PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE

THAT EXXON AND SHELL

HAVE AGREED TO FINANCE

WETLANDS REBUILDING

FROM PART OF THE $60 BILLION

IN PROFITS THIS YEAR.

AS J. STEPHEN SIMON,

EXN VICE PRESIDENT, WRITES,

"EXXON MOBIL IS

EARMARKING $8.6 BILLION

FROM REVENUES OUR COMPANY

HAS MADE IN THIS REGION,

SO AS TO ASSURE THA EXXON MOBIL NEVER AGAIN

HAS A HAND IN DESTROYING

A LARGE AMERICAN CITY."

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WE WILL REBUILD NO JUST NEW ORLEANS,

WE WILL REBUILD:

THE AMERICAN DREAM.

PLEASE COME JOIN US

AT THE LAFITTE HOUSING COMPLEX

FOR A RIBBON-CUTTING

CEREMONY IMMEDIATELY

AFTER THE PLENARY SESSION.

THIS IS WHA WE'RE ALL HERE FOR,

SO LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN.

LET'S BRING

NEW ORLEANS BACK.

I THOUGHT IT WAS

VERY UPLIFTING.

THIS HAS BEEN A BIG PROBLEM.

A LOT OF PEOPLE WAN TO COME HOME

AND THEY HAVE BEEN

UNABLE TO DO SO,

SO I THOUGHT IT WAS

A VERY POSITIVE MESSAGE.

OH, VERY ENCOURAGING.

AND WHAT'S REALLY ENCOURAGING

IN PARTICULAR IS NOT ONLY

GETTING PEOPLE BACK HOME

AND HELPING THEM REBUILD,

BUT THE RECOGNITION

THAT WE HAVE TO DEAL

WITH MOTHER NATURE.

AND THAT EXXON IS GOING

TO MAKE SOME SIGNIFICAN CONTRIBUTION

TO RESTORE WETLANDS IS--

IT'S VERY ENCOURAGING.

THIS WAS ENCOURAGING.

WHEN THE CONTRACTORS HEARD

THAT THE GOVERNMEN WAS GOING

TO DO THE RIGHT THING,

EVEN THOUGH IT MIGH COST THEM SOME BUSINESS,

THEY CHEERED.

FRIEDMAN WAS WRONG.

GREED ALONE DIDN'T RULE

THE WORLD.

- HI.

- HI. MY NAME'S STEVE STRADER,

WITH W.W.L.

- MIND IF I TALK

TO YOU OVER HERE?

- ABSOLUTELY.

- DO YOU HAVE A CARD?

- NO, NOT TODAY.

AND THIS TIME WE'D

GOTTEN AWAY TH IT...

- ALL RIGHT, THANKS. BYE-BYE.

- ...OR SO WE THOUGHT.

THE CITY AND THE STATE

BOTH SAY THEY'VE NOT HEARD

ANYTHING ABOUT THIS,

THAT THIS ANNOUNCEMEN COMES AS A SURPRISE TO

THE GOVERNOR'S OFFICE

AND THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.

WHY WOULD HUD DO THIS

WITHOUT CONSULTING

THE CITY AND THE STATE?

WELL, IT'S SUCH A--

WE HAVEN'T DONE THIS

WITHOUT CONSULTING WITH THEM.

YOU HAVE NO CARDS.

YOU SAY YOU'RE NEW

TO THE AGENCY?

I HAVE A CARD, BUT IT'S

BACK AT THE OFFICE.

- I'LL GET IT TO YOU.

- WHERE IS YOUR P.R. TEAM?

- I'M RIGHT HERE, HI.

- UM... THERE.

- HI, YOU'RE WITH HUD?

- YES, I AM.

- DO YOU HAVE A CARD?

- THERE'S AN ENTIRE HUD

HOUSING PROJECT THERE

- LEFT UNFINISHED.

- YEAH.

THERE ARE SOME SAYING

THAT THIS IS A FARCE,

THAT YOU'RE NOT TRULY

WITH HUD AND THAT THIS IS

NOT AN ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENT.

WELL, THEY CAN SAY

WHATEVER THEY WANT.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

- WHERE IS YOUR OFFICE?

- IN WASHINGTON.

WHERE IN WASHINGTON.

HE DID JUST-- HE JUS JOINED THE AGENCY

FROM FRANCE.

- HE'S A--

- FROM FRANCE?

YEAH, HE'S BEEN

A SPECIAL ATTACHE

TO THE DEPARTMEN OF THE INTERIOR IN FRANCE.

WHY ARE YOU:

SO SKEPTICAL?

WE JUST HEARD THE SPEECH

AND I HAVE A NEWSCAS VERY SHORTLY.

I NEED TO CONFIRM

IF IT WAS:

A REAL SPEECH:

FROM HUD OR NOT.

THE GOVERNOR AND THE MAYOR

KNEW NOTHING OF IT.

THEY WERE SHOCKED.

WE DESPERATELY NEED TO KNOW

IF THIS IS REAL OR NOT.

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